The rain came and the smell came with it. The temperature dropped, our altitude reducing the steam heat to an oily cloying mass of moving air that felt so intensely like spider webs that I constantly brushed my hands across my face to get rid of them. It was full dark and Stevens manned the Starlight Scope, relieving Zippo from scope tripod duty because the team had fashioned our half full packs into a sort of raised mound for the Starlight.
“What in hell is that smell?” I asked no one in particular. “It’s like the mosquito stuff, but worse.”
One of my best friends from my H.S. class of ’66 was in country two tours. He ended up having several operations because of the cancers, and ended up losing his voice box. He made it 30 something years before it finally got him. I always have said he was killed in Nam, but died here.
That fucking place sure killed a lot of people and a lot of them not deliberately.
War is that way. Oh, so sorry! I don’t know what the guys from Iraq and Afghanistan are coming back
with. When I was there in those I wasn’t out in the shit like before.
Thanks for the comment and caring…
Semper fi,
Jim
In 1968 I lost my first husband in Vietnam in what he called Blood Valley and my husband now calls it the 506. From what I understand now, so many of our young men lost their lives there. I tried for years to comprehend the war for, of course, when my husband wrote home he did not, as you did not with your wife, write of the horror of war. After all these years I have nightmares of how he was killed. He won the silver star for bravery but it did not help his children or me. My husband now is also a Vietnam Veteran and has helped me so much. He is having his battle now with Agent Orange and so is his grandson who was born without kidneys. I so appreciate you writing of your experience as it helps me understand more. God Bless you and THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!
No higher praise. How can I stop even though there are voices coming out of the woodwork that want me to stop.
The mythology of war is overpowering and so many of our young men and women go off out to some foreign battlefield without a clue.
Is it my responsibility to inform them?
Hell, I don’t know Anne but maybe my rendition of what real events were like will help give young people pause before they enter that awful “Lord of the flies” combat arena.
I am so sorry about your first husband. I lost so many too. And no, he did the right thing not to write the truth home.
I have the letters here of one many who wrote a lot of it (he was Army Special Forces) and his wife could not take it. She was gone by the time he made it back. Not that that would have been you, but the awful emotional angst of combat can be contagious.
Most Sincerely,
Semper fi,
Jim and thank you so much….
I think that all of us have had the experience of sitting and listening to the drips that come from the rain overflow in a gutter or something similar. A steady uninterrupted stream is established. When it stops and starts up again, no big deal, right? If you were a Combat Marine with combat experience in jungle warfare, it took on a totally different context. I was in country during 1966 and 1967 with the MOS of Combat Engineer with the Marine MOS of 1371, it just so happened that my assigned specialty was Landmine Ware Fare and VC Booby Traps. It was like an alarm clock going off and I was instantly awake and ready to go as were most of the experienced guys in the platoon. It has always amazed me the similarities between war and peace. I am just relieved that I hold few revenge thoughts. Ladies and gentlemen, I feel that we did what our country ask and we did a very fine job of it! The protesters are there and always be as is their right. We went to war to protect their rights to protest and most of it I dislike to the very core of it’s existence! We can take pride in the fact that we did what was ask of us and did one hell of a fine job doing it. I do think this attitude will continue as we are the ones who are training the upcoming generatin.
You make some clear and strong points Mike. Vietnam was something else and it touched
everyone who served, especially those who went out in that ‘bush’ and got involved in that
give and take warfare. Thank you for your comment and for the reading….
Semper fi,
Jim
Ana Grace,
Your sharing bought my attention to one aspect of that time (and all time of war) that is not discussed enough and that is the bravery and sacrifice of those left at home.
Parents spouses and children all share in the sacrifice of those in battle.
I honor YOU and thank you for being who you are!
I felt that my wife had it tougher than I did when I was in the thick of the shit. I worried about her and my newborn more than I worried about the very high likelihood I would die. And then I failed to mention, because I didn’t know,
that live Marines would come to see her if I got wounded.
I thought it was only if you were killed that they sent real people.
So they showed up. My wife was living with another guy’s wife, who was also in Vietnam. My wife answered the door and said “which one?” It took them a while to figure out what she was talking about. Tough times.
Semper fi,
Jim
What amazes me is how well you capture the racial animosity that existed at the time, and tends to get glossed over today. McNamara’s “Project 100,000” brought in people who had no business in the military. We ended up with the dregs of the inner city ghetto, leading to a rupture in discipline that took years to rectify. It was just as bad in garrison, with mobs of blacks marauding through barracks and attacking whites on base in the dark. There was a good reason that the OOD carried a .45 with live rounds. I remember a couple of occasions when I came close to having to use it. I see glimmers of that strife in society today, but thankfully not in the all-volunteer military. Thanks for articulating so well the tenor of that time.
The race war was totally unexpected for me. I saw absolutely none of that in training
or in my life at college (I was not on the West Coast for any of that) or even my earlier life.
And then there it was, no more causal to the blacks than it was to the whites. It just was and
dealing with it was among the most difficult problems that i faced.
Thank you for your well-written well thought out comment and for reading the story in the first place.
Semper fi,
Jim
I spent 2 tours in nam, 1st with d/1/9 in 1965-66 & 2nd. with l/3/26 in 66-67. if what your writing is factual things sure went to shit after 1967. the thought of marines not following orders or rebelling against their orders is way past my experiences. as a squad leader I was an extension of my plt. leader & his orders, it was my job to see that they were carried out. there were many times when in a situation we made adjustments as required to carry out the mission but that was to better complete the mission. just my 2 cents worth. semper fi
J.K. you served over there man, so you get a say.
There were thousands of mini-wars fought over there and admittedly in the very first few bits I’ve written I give an indication that I got sent to a problem unit in a problem area of I Corps.
And it was also a problem time.
Everything was just right, or just wrong.
I am glad that you served with a more traditionally disciplined unit.
I thought the Army company on one flank was like that and Webb’s company on the other maybe too. I didn’t really get to know because, as you know, it wasn’t that kind of war.
Everything was up close and personal. Thanks for taking the time to comment and the reading of the story.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was with 82nd Abn, supporting marines around Hue with artillery in February & March of 68, then directed artillery for whomever on first run up the A Shau. Largest arty base was Bastone. Thank you for writing, will never forget. I’m disabled in a wheelchair but could still walk it in to get you some relief, for sure J.R.
Amazing Army support in I Corps. The Marines and Army were pretty damned good together
and I was amazed, as I reveal in the story. There was no inter-service rivalry I ever saw, even
when the Marines were stealing the Army blind…which I now have figured the Army guys knew all along!
Thanks for your support, commenting and the reading, of course.
Semper fi,
Jim
What a fine comment, J.R. and thank you for your service.
Men and women like yourself and so many others reading this story are to honored for their sacrifices.
I hope our upcoming generations will understand the truth.
Maybe stories like this will help?
Remember well those nights the anxiety aprehension constantly checking your weapon n oh the shadows the smells your writing is so deep it brings back memories lock up in your head I’m not much on reading but you have captured my attention thank you so much Semper-Fi 1/3/5 1966
BALTHASAR. Great name. Jim just doesn’t quite get it! Thank you for your comment. Straight from the heart. Where we lived and now live.
Three Five. What an outfit. Talk about going through the shit! I am glad you are reading and thinking about it enough to say something.
Semper fi,
Jim
I enjoy your writing, it gives realism to events and characters in a time that many would choose to forget.
thank you Jim. The veterans like you making comments keep a smile on my face even
though the writing does not. I’d lost my sense of humor back then but now see the awful gallows
humor of some of it. Thanks for reading the story and thanks for commenting.
Semper fi,
Jim
People can read about this a thousand times and still never really understand!
I can only try Russell, to describe what it was really like. How do you describe the aroma of that
place and situation or living with the insects, C=Rations and the fear? Doing the best I can.
Semper fi,
Jim
If everyone tried like you do, this whole world would be better. The constant in this story is being taken there with your words. Those who were there, a remembering, for those of us not sent there, a tiny bit of the realism you guys endured. Thank you isn’t enough, never will be.
As the Chinese say “may you live in interesting times.” It’s meant as a curse. It was certainly
an interesting time, and how it all came to work out in reality as opposed to the mythological or phenomenal was astounding.
Thanks for the reading the caring comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
God bless those of us who have been able to carry on my heart hurts to the day I still have tears will they ever cease,more rhan likely not Semper Fi brothers and sisters.
thank you Tucker for your sincerest and deep-reaching comment. It means a lot to everyone who comes on this site.
The comments of veterans like you are among the most important I’ve ever read.
Semper fi,
Jim
You put us there with you in real time. Excellent writing. I look forward to each new post.
Thank you Steve. Your comment, and those of others like you and I in background, mean a lot to me, as I write away here.
What I am writing is difficult to get down properly but it is apparently interesting for many people to read about what it
was really like. I don’t expect it will ever be a best seller or a movie simply because I don’t think the truth works like that.
Most of life is a mythological construct and that’s okay. I am writing this for us.
Semper fi,
Jim
great job on your descriptions of what the war was like…………keep up the good work! Mike 3/9, 3rd Blt. 9th Marines, 1969
Thank you Howard. I am certainly doing my best to lay it down the way it went down.
I miss a detail here and there but thankfully the readers here chime in to straighten me out.
Thanks for the reading and the comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
Makes me shudder with Rage, that Our Guys had to go through all of this…Agent Orange has affected so many in such Terrible Ways… I am so glad, You, James,… Chuck and Farmer John are still doing O.K. Great writing James… keep up the good work, you give a Voice to So Many.
Thank you Kay, it is good to see your writing on here. Your support over
the years has meant a lot to me. Thanks for reading and thanks for always saying
what you think!
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim, as I’m reading your life stories, I’m sitting here in my lounge chair, 100% disability, cancer in my bone marrow, diagnosed from agent orange. Take care & God Bless
I was so lucky wth that Agent Orange shit. I am writing about it right now in this segment.
I was all over me, mixed with the awful repellant and crud of combat living. It’s hard to describe
what we went through on the ground and the price that comes calling so many years later. I am with
you there in that lounge chair brother. And thank you so much for taking the trouble to write and
share with the rest of us.
Semper fi,
Jim
If I had access to the it, I’d hook myself up the diagnostic equipment to measure my brain and nervous system reactions as I read these posts for the first time. I’m sure the results would be sufficient to earn me an overnight check up in the local ER. You have become so imprinted on me that the lines blur between what you say and feel and what is happening to me at the moment, right down to the shaking of the hands and sweat-fear popping out and running clear down to my boots. I have read hundreds of war and combat books running the gamut of personal biographies to sci fi, but nothing comes as close as your writing to transferring myself into the authors boots. (footnote: E.B. Sledge, The Old Breed, comes close) My self-analysis says it’s because our life tracks run so closely parallel until yours gets shunted off to the living Hell of Viet Nam. And at the end of each episode, I fearfully acknowledge, this is where I would have died. Not being maudlin here, just the realization that my skill sets weren’t up to the task, and, dear-God-thank-you, yours were.
Since there is nothing I can add to the reality and veracity of your combat experience, I can only hope to add some farm boy background input that may (or may not) fill in some of the unexplained things you refer to in this post. Agent Orange has become a word of horror all by itself. You probably know its specifics: a (usually) 50/50 combination of the still-in-use herbicides of 2,4,D and 2,4,5,T. 2,4,D was the first herbicide most farmers of my era became familiar with. It was like a magic potion, we could spray it on broadleaf weeds already growing in our corn fields and the weeds would die and the corn wouldn’t. It has been in use since the late 1940s. It’s big, bad brother, 2,4,5,T was (often still is) the weapon of choice for rural counties to control unwanted trees and brush along miles and miles of county roads. You wouldn’t to wash your hands with either of these liquids, and a life long exposure to high doses of either does nasty and unwanted things to our bodies. The “oily feel” and odor you have imprinted on your brain from those days actually comes from the adjuvant oil added to the herbicide to make it adhere to the leaf surfaces and resist being washed off. Since none of this stuff was destined for use and distribution in the US, the usually drum-tight inspection and control procedures were either lax or non-existent. These otherwise limited dangerous mixtures (I, for instance, should be long dead and decomposed by now with as much as I have been in contact with both of them for more than 50 years) became deadly (to homo sapiens) mixtures when the 2,4,5,T became routinely contaminated with TCDD, a deadly biotoxin.
Semper Fi,
Farmer John
John,
I feel the same regarding the reading of James encounter. I met him in 1970 and he joined our team of young tyros. He shared this experience in detail and has been encouraged to publish for past 40+ years.
It seems you and I share regarding the “pesticide” issue. One of my sources of income as an undergraduate at UCR was testing pesticides.
We would walk up and down rows, spraying mixed potions with no knowledge of actual ingredients, all without any “protective” gear.
So far in my seventies have no ill effects, but some friends did not fare that well.
Thanks for your feedback, Chuck. I’ve volunteered for numerous college/hospital/research conducted farmer “test groups” that are trying to quantify and clarify the effects of long term use of pesticides (not just herbicides) on farmer health long term. I’m in my 15th or 16th year of a planned 20 year study with one group. I mainly volunteered because they give a very thorough top-to-bottom total health screening/exam every year (that’s the only perk, no pay). I started as a “high boy” sprayer applicator operator when I was a junior in high school, 1963. No cab, no “protective” clothing, no face masks. I was also part of the crew that filled up the crop duster planes that operated from our local fertilizer/chemical dealer. And, in my 70th year, no problems. No brag, just facts. As you point out, some friends have not fared that well.
Thanks for sharing, John
I am sending you an email with a request
There can be no effective or really meaningful answer to such a comment. I am stunned by the acceptance and support
of what I am doing in the writing. I do not think of myself as a great writer.
I think of myself as a person who’s been writing through all sorts of genres for many years and might have got some of it right.
Thank you John, from the depth of my heart for the support and thank you for the file on Agent Orange.
I needed that for post story stuff.
I really didn’t know a lot about it even though I worked in areas where it suffused everything around us.
I seem to be okay and my kids too.
Thank God.
Semper fi,
Jim