Fusner whispered into my left ear before first light. I blinked rapidly, once again not aware of having slept, but nothing could explain the passage of time from one waking moment to the next. I shook my head. Maybe I did sleep. If so, then it didn’t resemble, even remotely, the sleep I’d enjoyed all of my life up until one week ago. I eased up to near vertical position and rubbed my mosquito bitten repellent covered face. I brought my hands down, wondering when we would have enough water for me to take another jungle shower. Maybe it would pour rain again and I could run around in the mud naked, scrubbing madly with one of the small white bars of sundry pack soap.
Fusner knelt only inches away, already wearing the Prick 25 on his back, its flat field antenna folded over several times looking like a sheaf of palm blades. The shadows moved around me. I hated the moving shadows. Anything could come out of them or be them. Light was my friend and darkness, a tool of the enemy. I looked around me until I could get my bearings and overcome the night terrors. I breathed deeply in and out. The darkness had one good feature. Nobody could see me clearly, either — that I was busy being too afraid to be an officer, much less the company commander.
Jim, another gotcha by the nuds segment your story. The longest thirty days I believe I have ever seen. So much history and 10 days still to go. Great as usual. As a medic I heard of live rounds being removed by docs and crew behind makeshift sand bag bunkers. Some balls there because hands and arms and eyes are a surgeon’s bread and butter. Did see a AK round taken out of a right heart chamber. They used a heart lung machine that had followed LBJ in ’66 when he slipped in and out of Cam Ranh. Thank you for doing this, so many are experiencing help not available for too many years. Poppa Joe. Merry Christmas Marine
Thanks Poppa J, for the usual wonderful comment made on here…
Semper fi,
Jim
James, I started reading day 10 and then went back to catch up. Your story makes me even more glad that I didn’t make it to Viet Nam. I’m afraid I would have been one of the FNG Lieutenants that didn’t make it. Your account of meeting up with the Army really hit home. As a battery commander in 10th Marines in the 70’s we’d see Army units when we trained at Fort Bragg. I was always thinking, “That’s what light artillery is supposed to look like.” They had 102’s with a Gamma Goat prime mover and ammo hauler. We had M101’s and worn out M35 deuce and a half’s.
You know Mike, there was no telling with that war and then there was little truth coming out of it.
My wife roomed with another Marine Lieutenant’s wife when I was over there.
He came home and claimed to have been in I Corps and never saw or heard a shot fired.
I believed him. Only later, after he was divorced and ravaged by PTSD did I realize he hadn’t been truthful.
Maybe couldn’t have been truthful.
It was a little hard for me to say I never saw action.
Yes, many times the corps worked with the dregs when it came to equipment.
Just getting a howitzer that had lands and grooves could be difficult.
Semper fi,
Jim
As of today, I think I’m caught up. Fortunately I’m retired and don’t have a job I have to worry about. Your writing is great. Maybe this will be required reading at TBS.
I don’t think so Mike. TBS might have changed over the years but never forget that the idea of
that training is not just to get new officers up to speed and trained. It is also to inure them in
Marine Corps tradition and continue the great warrior myth. My work is a long way from supporting what they
conceive of as continuing that belief system. Remember, almost all warrior myths are written by those who
did not go out in the shit. There were no reporters out there in the shit with us. They visited once one day and got
the hell out of Dodge toot sweet…and probably went back and wrote great warrior crap when they thankfully got back.
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks for the thought though!!!
Being in charge of the lives of others is a very lonely job. Being dropped into the middle of that with no experience, I can related being an E5 field promoted to an E6. Had to be the one always on guard and watching over the security of my men. I didn’t like that responsibility. I worried most over getting one of them killed by a bad decision. Lonely. Wasn’t close to any one but wanted to. Another note, not all Army had fresh fatigues and hot chow. Had hot chow one time three days after Thanksgiving 68 in the field while Charlie rocketed us unless we were on a fire base. The M79, guys used it so they would have to walk point. Seldom used until a lieutenant carried one along with his AR. Once when we were ambushed and pinned down as Charlie had the high ground on the ridge line, I went down and got the 79 to put high angle fire through openings in the tree canopies. Didn’t know it at the time but it chased Charlie from their position. These comments aren’t meant to degrade any if the guys in the unit, just saying how it was. The M79 guy just didn’t want to come up where we were pinned down and that is all I could think of to do. James, you don’t have to reply. I know I’m commenting way past the time your segment was posted. I’m thankful for your moral courage and wanting to do the right thing in an impossible situation. Sorry you were dropped into that godawful hell of a unit. I also think you must have beat yourself up mentally when you got stateside replaying your decisions over and over in your mind if I’m correct. I did. It’s a honor to experience your story. A co, 1/327, 101st 68-69
There were a few guys who became genius operators of that special weapon most
of us could not really figure out. The good ones did not use the sights. They just knew, like you. To them
and probably you, it was like throwing a really fast baseball. Thanks for your comment. I read it all and
I enjoyed the reading and taking in all that you were and remain today. Pleased to be a vet with you.
Semper fi,
Jim
Once in awhile, the Army comes through for Marines.
I should know…my dad retired as a field medical from the Army Reserve, so I learned from his mistake and became a Marine!
SEMPER FI
Jim
The Army came through a whole lot for the Marines in Vietnam. I had
not one bad experience with the Army contacts I made or the services they
very generously and caringly provided. That was a shock too, because I was not led
to believe it would be that way in training. Thanks for the comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
M-79 was my weapon of choice {Nam 69,70,71 & 72] Never herd of that happening? Who ever that fucker was on the M-79 would be left at base camp & premoated to PSB [permant shit burner ] for duration of his tour ?
Later Dee Ernst[815th/102nd Cbt Eng 75th Ranger US Army Rt. ]
As with so much of what happened in the thick of it Dee, accountability for who shot who or what
was mostly missing entirely. Thanks for your accurate response though. And the reading of the story, of course.
Semper fi,
Jim
Dee, do you recall using or seeing the M79 mounted alongside the M16?
I never saw one until I got back to the States. The 79 barrel was built into the underside
of the M-16 barrel. It was single shot and the rounds were heavy. Never fired it myself but the barrel of
the 79 part looked shorter than on the actual weapon stand alone.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was at Camranh Bay. Air Force August 1967 to August 1968 I didn’t see the terrible duty the marines and Army did. We were hit with rockets during the first TET Offensive I take my hat off to you guys. But we sure flew support for you all.
Belated thanks for the air support Robert! Thank you for writing back to me and reading the story I am telling too.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was in a CAG combined action platoon 1968-1969 between Dong Ha & quang tri we had seven villages we rotated in, no officers E5 was head NIC lol of seven men left out of 15, we slept in budgodas when we were not on night ambushes, our corpsman was killed we had all his drugs and stuff, they never sent out another Corpsman, we got to send a man to Town ( or base once a month ) supply’s were dropped by road side when we’re were in the area, after our E 5 was killed I was promoted to E4 became HNIC never saw a officer for months. Lol we trained the local PF by day ran ambushes at night with our Kit Carson scout, VC was infiltrated in our PFs lol we knew it they knew we new it, I don’t think I slept for 6 months until R&R lol, had 12 months and 10 days of snipers by day. poison by locals chicoms at night. Final hit my glass (Ceiling ) short timer, was killing a village chief choking him to death for some reason I thought he was VC, when marines held me down till medavac to Japan then states the nut ward in Pensacola for 6 months then told I was med. Discharged not able to be state side Marine anymore. Now they call it PTSD (then just can’t rehabilitate you marine) Medical Discharged it’s over by now. Couldn’t do nothing right for 20 years till I found Jesus, it’s ok now I can talk. Thanks for your story Marine .
Wow! Man you went through that wringer too! The Marine Corps was not ready
back home to take us in after what we’d been through. The up front and personal
crap of the jungle had not been experienced much except for small pockets during WWII.
It’s good to see that you’ve made it through, so to speak. Thanks for sharing from your heart
here and reading my story.
Semper fi,
Jim
I have enjoyed reading your account very much, James. Might be useful to clarify your comment about small pockets in World War II, however. My father was a second lieutenant in the first Marine division on Guadalcanal. I grew up hearing his stories and he was indeed a gung ho Marine. Myself, an E-6 on a missile submarine SSB(N) 617 Gold, 1967-73, Missile Tech/Diver.
Meant no disrespect to you and your own Bob. Jungle warfare in the guerrilla warfare style occurred in Burma, China and in some the island campaign, although the islands were more conventional in how one force faced the other with regular lines and geographic goals of conquest. Meant no disrespect. This island campaigner’s were put to the test hugely and did they ever measure up. The special life of a nuclear submariner isn’t to be sneezed at either. Takes something special to wear those dolphins. Thank you for the comment and the reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
Happy Thanksgiving James. I spent Thanksgiving 1969 on hill 22 in Vietnam. I was hoping that maybe we would get a hot meal that day but did not really count on it happening. That afternoon we saw a mule coming down the road with the driver and one other Marine on it. This was surprising since they had to cross several clicks of Indian territory to get there. The mule also carried several vat cans which we knew contained hot chow. The “shotgun man” on the mule was a former squadleader from our platoon who was in the rear and about to rotate back to the states. He had heard that there was no helicopters available to fly the food out to us so he and the company clerk borrowed the mule and hauled the hot chow out to us. I am forever thankful to them for that… Semper Fi
I don’t know what it was about hot chow Jack. I just went into me like hot chocolate or something.
It was more emotional than it was taste or nutrition but it sure had meaning. Thanks for your mule story.
There were so many of those extraordinary stories about guys doing fantastic things for other guys they didn’t even
know. There were good parts amongst the terror….
Semper fi,
Jim
This is a good read.I was navy bird farm 69-74 3 tours gunnersmate. I know we don’t count,but have alto of respect for those that do. Truly enjoy your stories.
Why in hell would you not count? The guys and gals who serve in the military have a common bond and it’s called the willingness to face into utter disaster should it befall on behalf of others who are not at all equipped, willing or able to do so.
Thank you for a good bit of that.
And it is a pleasure to have you voice your opinion here and also receive your support in laying this story down.
Semper fi,
Jim
Look forward to your stories. This time of the year makes me think of worst times up north with Fox 2/9 Marines. WIA in December 1966 and medivaced to battalion aid and then to the USS Repose.
Almost ended up on the Repose myself! Instead got sent to Tachikawa and then Yokosuka. Yes, the fall is weird for that if you served in the Highlands of Vietnam.
It was low sixties and the damp could make it cold as hell, particularly after climbing up from the high nineties lowlands. Thanks for the comment and the reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
Where is the HMFWIC ??
I know my question will eventually be answered, but where is the battalion CO or his XO? And why haven’t you met or at least spoken to one or the other?
It’s been a week.
For that matter, why no contact with the CO’s of your sister companies?
I don’t expect an answer here. Just sharing my thoughts. Waiting for the wtf’s next.
Steve. We were anathema out there for a variety of reasons that will become more clear over time.
Webb did contact us as did battalion.
Battalion was in contact with the Gunny who was answering as the Six Actual while I became aware of that
but did not mess with that until later on.
This is just the first week.
The battalion C.O. was an incompetent drunk later relieved and charged.
The X.O.spent as much of his time in Da Nang as was possible, somehow.
Thanks for the very apropos comment and the reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
Thank you James.
Wasn’t expecting any answers. Just feeling frustrated for you.
You made me open my dictionary though.
Keep writing.
Well Hell Steve! You are and remain one of us so you deserve answers as best I can give them.
Doing a rendition of what happened is plagued with some inaccuracies of memory and tortured outrage I
went through about the injustice of it all, not to mention the simple fact that it all resembled the Keystone
cops of death much more than the Marine Corps I was ready for.
Command in combat situations is so much more fluid and weird than any of us were ready for and not having accountability out there on the combat field created huge problems.
Probably better now with all the sensory, night vision and computer video applications.
Thanks for your interest and the intellect behind your comments.
Semper fi,
Jim
As Vietnam vet 69-71 two tours without coming home with the 241st in Quang Tri, I can relate to everything that you have written, I was brought out Dec. of 71, placed on a med. flight to the states, put in Letterman General hospital, top floor (crazy room) stayed there a week before they transferred me to Menlo Park(buzzer locked rooms) was told I’d never fit into society again, long story short I never talked about Vietnam until about 6 years ago, then I went into therapy, I didn’t want anyone to know I was even in the service, it has helped me out more than anyone can believe, I can now read and talk about it, I can still see it my mind, smell it, taste it, but would not change it for anything, the VA has been so helpful, In the last 5 years they have taken the last 4 pieces of shrapnel out of me and have treated me with nothing but respect, I encourage more Vets to come forward.
Thanks Mark. Yeah, I got isolated at Oaknoll in San Francisco and not treated well by the
Nave staff of the time. Somehow some citizens identified the warriors as being the ones who caused the conflict.
Strange times. Thanks for ‘coming out’ so to speak and commenting here.
Semper fi,
Jim
A Seabee, 67-68, tha VA has been a blessing ta me here in Razorback country. Glad I got back, wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.
Yes, Robert.
If I had known I would never ever have chosen to go but in having gone how could I ever
replace what I learned, about life and myself and the ‘real’ world?
We are simpatico.
Thanks for the reading and the erudite comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was in Army in 60-62. But I was lucky I did not go over seas. I have tremendous respect for the Viet Nam veterans. Not sure if I could handled it. HOORAY to you guys.
Thanks for the respect, the reading of the story and also your comment. It’s a pleasure to see the interest here from
people who didn’t necessarily serve in the conflict but have come to understand the vets who did.
Semper fi,
Jim
I’m a Vietnam vet and wish I could recount dates and times of my time in country. Mainly names that I have forgotten. I noticed there as no mention of a daily log you wrote. Are you blessed with a photographic memory?I was an Army door gunner in I Corp and flew many missions in support of the Marines there. When are going to post more of your accounts of your time in VietNam?
I wrote to my wife daily and that is mentioned throughout many of the episodes and I kept some personal notes.
It has been through the encouragement of close friends and family that I finally decided to share.
The first 10 days will be completed soon and will publish in digital form on Kindle, hopefully January 2017.
Also making arrangement for printed copies to follow.
Sign up for updates here on the site and you will get an email every time a new post is published, Gary
Marine veteran. I was there in 66-67. Started reading your stuff and really look forward to each installment. Great work. Semper Fi.
Thanks Mike, it’s a labor of love and angst, and then remembering shit I thought I’d long forgotten but still lays there like that mud.
Thanks for the read and the comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
CWO USMCR retired, but in 1967-68 was with the 101st ABN Vietnam. Patrolled in the mountains outside of Phu Bai and Hue during the Tet offensive. Went into the Ashau at the end of March 68. In July the company came out of the field to be refitted. We were never clean. Sometimes before we came out of the field we would shave and clean up in a river so the press would not see how dirty we were. One thing for sure , you could smell us coming a mile away. Only ate C-Rats the entire four months. Welcome Home.
Thank you Don. Yeah, being filthy was just horrid. I never got used to it and some smells today zoom me right back to that
area and time. I never have felt since an emotion of being so close to my fellow men but so distant from them, if that makes
any sense. Thanks for the cogent comment and the reading of the story….
Semper fi,
Jim
In early months in Vietnam, I was a PFC promoted to Spec/4 and only had to follow the leaders and learn from them. I now realize the responsibility of Command,and can appreciate what you went through. Semper Fi.
Thank you Don. It’s a pleasure to read notes from the guys who were really in the shit.
They all understand.
I don’t expect that from the general public, any more than I came to expect it (finally) when I got home.
Semper fi,
Jim
We didn’t have any officers with us . I was in a combined action platoon ,first cag, 10 clicks south of chu lie. First cag commander was lt.colonel day,a mustang, fought in ww2 and Korea one hell of a marine
The CAG’s were special outfits who went out like Force Recon and dealt with
issues of social and physical combat with little to draw on in support or
understanding back at command. Officers were a whole lot more in demand in
the Nam than anyone is saying and part of the reason was friendly fire. Sometimes,
not all, the friendly fire could be argued to have been required.
thanks for the comment and reading the story.
Semper fi,
Jim
Like your (your, hell, you!,Strauss) shell-shocked, other-world dweller, brown bar principal character, I didn’t know if I could even smile again, let alone grunt out a laugh while reading this mind snatching saga. But that’s what I did, more out of relief than humor as you stumbled your way out of this shit pile that had burbled to the top of the ever present layer of manure. The unbelievable nature of the unlikely savior-and I’m still smiling. I’ll wait til tomorrow to start fretting again about what’s going to go wrong in the next installment. An old farmer friend of mine had a saying: “They can never take away a good time that you’ve already lived”.
SF,
PFJ
Well John, as usual your comments leave me smiling and in wonder. You have a knack brother, for the written word and appear to be one of the ‘good shits’ in life out here.
Thank you for the terrific support. In the Nam it seemed to me then and now that I just bounced around like one of those old super balls, never really knowing from
one moment to the next what crazy bat shit stuff would happen or come flying my way. In my perspective it all landed on my plate and I never seemed to have
any good or solid options. It was like living a running series of Flash Gordon segments.
One day soon we probably should meet.
Semper fi,
Jim
John, I love your quote from the Old Farmer, ““They can never take away a good time that you’ve already lived”.
I wonder why so many hold back from sharing those times (good and sometimes bad) with the younger generation?
Being the oldest survivor of my “family” I was honored when a first cousin’s grandchild asked to know more about my folks and grandparents.
So many good stories to share, not all to be found publicly. ~~smile
Great Stuff… Jim Walker of Montana is a Facebook Friend… I think he was in the 101st Airborne.. ….You should Friend Him, I think he would know about this STUFF….and would probably love reading your account of it….
Thank you Kay, for the kind words, as usual.
The vets reading have been most wonderful and Jim is truly welcome here if he wants
to accompany all of us on this journey back through time.
Semper fi,
Jim
As a Navy Corpman1968 through 1971 I can relate to many of these stories. I was stationed at Camp Pendleton after coming back from a tour overseas I was eventually transferred to the hospital to work on the psych ward. It was so frustrating that they only keep us Corpman on the ward for a few months, we could treat sucking just wounds dismemberments, but it was very difficult to deal with what we now know as PTSD. It took me years to recoup from that six months I worked on the psych ward but A wonderful wife and Jesus I have made peace with that. Keep up your writing James everyone of us enjoy it.
HM3
First of all, thank you for being a Navy Corpsman. I don’t think many corpsman every come to understand how much
you mean to all of us serving and former Marines. You guys saved so many lives, mine being one of them.
Ooooooorah! and Semper fi, and thank you….again!
Jim
having served in the 101st 1st brigade during this period the difference between the two units must have been big. worked with the marines a lot but never understood their mind set.
The 101st was a great unit over there. A lot like the Marines but not.
I think the 101st was filled with more ‘characters’ then the Marine units but
they all pulled their weight in the A Shau. That valley claimed so many of
both. Thanks for the comment and who in hell can understand what is in the mind
of a Marine because of how heavy the bone is around it….
Semper fi,
Jim