I left Butch’s trailer and headed back toward San Clemente, but not before stopping back at Straight Ahead just to see if Paul might have showed up since I’d been spending time with Butch. The place was open like it always was, but Paul was nowhere to be seen. I’d known he likely wasn’t there because his car wasn’t parked out front, but I’d already decided to contact him. I sat at his desk and, searched around until I found a blank piece of copy paper to write a note. My message was simple since all I wanted was at least one more opportunity to talk to the man who’d been so helpful to me in so many ways. I didn’t know when I’d be leaving and it was important to at least say goodbye if not discuss other things a little bit more. Butch was a great counselor but he was hard-core tough, not classically educated in psychology nor as objective as he might be for the job of being my therapist. I scribbled out the note to have him call me and folded it up. There was no envelope so I simply let the paper lay in the center of the desk.
“Who are you?” A female voice said from the doorway.
James, Mostly punctuation editing suggestions. Yes, a C-130 is a neat plane for transporting military cargo or jumpers. No, it is not flown like an airliner. If the aircrew is cool then all is OK.
So far, so good in executing the plan to win Mary’s approval. We shall see.
Tom seems a good asset to know. We shall see if your paths cross again.
Some minor editing suggestions follow:
found a blank piece of copy paper and wrote a note
Works as is but could change “and wrote” to “to write”
found a blank piece of copy paper to write a note
nor as objective a he might be for the job
“as” instead of “a” after “objective”
nor as objective as he might be for the job
the young woman’s radiant beauty setting me a bit aback
Add period
the young woman’s radiant beauty setting me a bit aback.
uncomfortable silence that separated us. “
Drop extra quotation mark
uncomfortable silence that separated us.
I hadn’t made a final decision about Paul, however I was coming to see
Period after “Paul”
Begin new sentence. Capitalize “However”
I hadn’t made a final decision about Paul. However I was coming to see
I smiled to myself and went inside, wondering what Richard might
wanted.
“want” instead of “wanted”
I smiled to myself and went inside, wondering what Richard might want.
to spend the day, isn’t that right Richard?”
Two sentences. Period after “day” Capitalize “Isn’t”
to spend the day. Isn’t that right Richard?”
delivered her words was likely only evident to me
Add period at end
delivered her words was likely only evident to me.
It was a seemingly small point but a ‘tell’W as far as I was concerned
“W” seems extraneous. Drop
It was a seemingly small point but a ‘tell’ as far as I was concerned
You’re headed for Albuquerque on a new C-30 H model
“C-130” rather than “C-30”
You’re headed for Albuquerque on a new C-130 H model
‘I’ll be there to get you and bring you home
Extra apostrophe before “I’ll” Drop
I’ll be there to get you and bring you home
Mary will know you took it along,” That and your .45
Period after “along” Drop quotation mark after “along”
Mary will know you took it along. That and your .45
I wanted as little disturbance in the house before my leaving,
Period instead of comma at end
I wanted as little disturbance in the house before my leaving.
on a plane that could carry about a hundred tons of cargo I was the only person or thing aboard
C-130H: 23,000 feet (7,077 meters) with 42,000 pounds (19,090 kilograms) payload.
/ Maybe change to “over twenty tons” instead of “about a hundred tons”/
on a plane that could carry over twenty tons of cargo I was the only person or thing aboard
The plane was to fly into Kirkland AFB
“Kirtland” instead of “Kirkland”
The plane was to fly into Kirtland AFB
The crew of the C-130 would fuel up and wait for my return
/In Chapter 9 there is a different crew for the return flight./
Can change that by starting the sentence with “My understanding was” or “My assumption was”
My understanding was that the crew of the C-130 would fuel up and wait for my return
Nobody cares much about a lowlevel new officer
Seems “lowlevel” should be hyphenated
Nobody cares much about a low-level new officer
Tabo I had no idea about although
Add period at end.
Tabo I had no idea about although.
a brand-new blue and white two-door blazer
Capitalize “Blazer”
a brand-new blue and white two-door Blazer
welcome made me feel good despite of the fact
Drop “of” after “despite”
welcome made me feel good despite the fact
I was there to decide between buying it
Maybe add “or not” at the end of sentence
I was there to decide between buying it or not.
There would be no other perspective buyers coming in
“prospective” rather than “perspective”
There would be no other prospective buyers coming in
Tom took me for lunch before heading us back to Kirkland
“Kirtland”
Tom took me for lunch before heading us back to Kirtland
he said, taking fork full of green chili tamale
Add “a” before “fork”
he said, taking a fork full of green chili tamale
Blessings & Be Well
Thanks for all the work going back in time to fix my own rendition!
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Chili Verde comment made me laugh aloud, as I had tried it once on my Daughters Birthday and all her friends were laughing at me as the sweat was rolling off my bald head !!! LOL
Very unusual to have a passenger aboard a test flight too !!??
Still don’t understand the “why” about the .45, but am sure it will be answered in short order.
Hope Mary will like the house after going through all of this.
Good read James, keep ’em coming 🙂
SEMPER Fi
They pulled no punches in building that house and Mary was quick to discover that but we’ll have more of that in the coming
chapters. Thanks for the editing help and the great comment not to mention the neat compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
Mr. Strauss, Sir.
Just a heads up, but if I’m right, this was the second installment that has been numbered “Volume 4, Chapter VII”.
Also, every time I read where someone else knows something about your personal life – either past or future – I feel a little queasy. Paul’s fiancee had no reason that I can imagine to know that you would be gone for a day.
Keeping it all straight has been a real undertaking when one writes as much as I do.
Without Chuck Bartok and DanC I’d be totally lost, and I’m sure they’ll read this and check things
out. It’s only readers however who really offer the most accurate and telling critiques of such things
and I thank everyone on her who points things out that I miss.
Semper fi,
Jim
Personally, all I care about is the story. I understand that you want it to be right, but I don’t mind if you don’t “dot the i’s or cross the t’s”. I understand that what you have been undertaking is a huge ordeal. Heck, when I write these few lines in the comment section, I edit the thing at least two or three times. You’re doing great, please keep at it. Thank you.
You are an extraordinary reader Keith, in that you don’t care that much about the details. So many do, and also the devil can be in the details and the truth of what you may be reading verified by the very amount of the detail that may prove to be not only true but then support, like small pylons under it, the massive nature of the story’s plot and theme. Thanks for the compliment, the trust and the continued interest in following me along this twisting uncommon trail of triumph and tears…
Semper fi,
Jim
Great read, I don’t know how I would adjust to the food but it would have to be better than trying to explain to my wife why Uncle Sam picks out our house. Still don’t understand why you had to bring the .45. The .45 you are now carrying brings back memories of Tex’s .45 you carried back in the valley from hell.
Thanks for the great compliment Chuck! Hopefully, some of the things that seem so mysterious will be responded to
in the coming chapters that I can’t write here. I too was big befuddled by the need for others to have me armed
when I didn’t really want to be armed at all.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Jim, Talk about having to do things ‘on the fly’ with little or no intel. But I imagine your innate ability, which was ‘added to’ & demonstrated in the A Shau somehow started the process leading up to the present. Would be interesting to know of that process – Who started it, based on what, who/how your performance was evaluated leading to the decision by the CIA to ‘take you in’, so to speak. Brought up memories of an “unknown” Army process that led me & another officer (One of my best friends.) to return from Germany to form & train a group of NCOs who would be training up RC components Round Out units on the new M1 tanks in the early 80’s – Long story. Health issues cut short that ‘process’ journey along with my time in the Army. Regardless my friend, no regrets. I also believe your having to do things/react to things ‘on the fly’ with the CIA must have been fairly consistent during your 17 years, starting with the need to have your 45 along on a trip to iron out the plan for Mary ‘picking’ out this house, etc, etc, etc. As always, regards, Doug
Doug Danko…what an analysis and how interesting, as usual. Sounds like the Abrams project was an interesting one.
Sorry it got cut short. One of the immutable facts about CIA service, for field agents, is the totally unknown aspect
of the service and almost never working with the same people. THere’s no ‘Mission Impossible’ group or any of that. There’s
no I.D. card or any of that. Just phone numbers memorized and personal I.D. number, also memorized. And on and on and on.
Semper fi, and thanks, my friend,
Jim
An edit:
“I didn’t know where I’d be leaving and it was important to at least say goodbye…”
I believe you meant to say “when” I’d be leaving, not “where”.
Thanks for the help, Tim!
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim,
Why is it that so many people you happen to bump into know so much about you (that they shouldn’t know)? It would make me real paranoid. How did it make you feel to now take so many orders from people you hardly knew, be kept in the dark on many details, go forward on blind trust–and conjure up fibs to tell your wife, and sorta pull the wool over your wife’s eyes regarding various things (like the alien object in the box you had hidden away)?
Always a treat to see a new chapter appear.
Wishing you well–in body, mind and spirit.
Best regards.
My wife guessed about the object and simply wanted it out of our lives and way far away, although it was not any kind of
regular part of our conversations. People usually know assumptions about me, back then and even today. Now, I’m.a novelist
and newspaper publisher, and have contacts that I shouldn’t be able to have. They are left with ‘how is that guy, anyway,’ unless they
are in deep trouble, in which case I’m a supreme being…until the mission is complete. My grandson once told me that I was like
a giant piece of silly putty in that I could be shaped into whatever anyone wanted me to be. I liked that.
Semper fi, and thanks for the usual great compliment of writing on here intelligently and also saying nice stuff.
Your friend, Jim
I love reading, and I love a “well-turned phrase.” This one:
“… I went back inside the house to try to explain the grand assortment of lies to a woman who was like a living lie detector…”
…is beyond epic. Well done, Jim! Keep up the great work!
Clay
Thanks Clay, I don’t really work at creating ‘well-turned phrases,’ as the writing just comes out as I go and work at recalling.
thanks for like that so much and the compliment of that.
Semper fi,
Jim
Your writing has a way of stirring up long forgotten memories. I recall a flight in a C-130 when the landing gear wouldn’t come down. We landed on a foam covered runway. Recall another instance when one went off the end of the runway. The plane lit up like a match. Only thing recognizable left was the engines.
This is a great read. Keep them coming.coming
Thanks Phil, I much appreciate your own harrowing experience with the plane. Thanks so much also
for the great compliment…and that helps me keep on keeping on with the story.
Semper fi,
Jim
awesome read
Thanks so much Donald for the laconic short but so meaningful comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
LT, great flight in a plane that can land anywhere. What’s to worry about. Now Paul and his whatever is another matter altogether. Being watched by someone who you had no idea was CIA. Interesting read.
Hope your wife likes the house ok. Probably had you carry the 45 just in case the plane when down in the desert and you needed it. Never know what lurks in the desert. Always enjoy the chapters so keep writing.
Seems like you have a pretty good take on things JT and thanks for the great compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
Hey James!
The plot thickens, for sure! Seems as though everyone is dialed in but you. And you are getting nowhere in a heck of a hurry.
You mention that the yard is a mess, after you enter the house, when you probably should have mentioned the mess during the outside comments. What kind of mess? Construction debris, or tons of old beer bottles and weather-beaten flattened boxes?
It seems that at this point you are sure keeping to the plot.
The C-130 was and is a helluva great airplane! I flew mail, cargo, and jumpers in an old twin Beech, which at one time the military C-45, and often wished it were big like the C-130. I could only carry one ton of cargo! BTW, the C-130 at one time landed and took off from one of our Essex class carriers. No hook, but it managed to stop, then turn around, taxi to the stern, and take off. Glad I wasn’t flying it!
Difficult to wait to find out Mary’s reaction to the new house, the altitude, no ocean beach, and the often-fiery south-western food. (My reaction is much like yours!)
Waiting impatiently for the next chapter – like many great authors, you keep the reader wanting more.
Semper Fi, my friend. And not saying that lightly, as I lost my very best friend last Friday: My Service Dog of 14+ years passed. I do not make and keep friends easily, especially as I don’t get out much. So got to hang on to the few I have. House sure feels empty without her.
I am so sorry about the loss, as I know your friend must have gotten you through some very tough times.
I’m only a new friend, and not there as your service do certainly was. You are valued out here for what that might
mean but it’s all some of us can offer. Thanks for writing your own experience with the C-130 planes. Mary and
the kids losing the beach access was a big deal, you are correct. We had to go to Hawaii twice a year so they could
simply lay out in the waves and soak themselves silly!
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Dear Craig, I am truly sorry for the passing & loss of your best friend. Know that prayers to God & Jesus for comfort, strength & keeping the best memories front & center forever went up for you & your puppy. Additionally, prayers of keeping Satan behind you & never catching up. Like you, friends don’t come easily – I find animals, especially puppies, to be the best. I so wish they could be here longer, as they always give their best & a piece of us always goes with them when they have to leave. I look forward to seeing them all again & never having to leave (If I’m so lucky.). My most sincere regards, Doug (US Army)
How kind of you to respond to Craig Wilcox on the site, as it gives us all a chance to think about the guy and his losses
of late. It’s tough to be down without the support of a crew like this to help re-inject life back into you.
I know, as I have experienced some of that effect in starting this odyssey myself. Thanks for Craig!
Semper fi my friend,
Jim
Jim, On the 9th, had a scare with my own puppy (Brody – 14 yrs) having a seizure. 5 hours at the Vet. Was going thru the process of what was best for him vs us. Sucked to the max. Then Brody got back to his feet. So he got to come home. Still, time isn’t on our side. Still, he’s living a good life. E’nuf of this. Thanks for your comment my friend. Regards, Doug
The dog is a big deal. Big deal. Especially to someone in our circumstance and age in life.
I am not good at losing the greatest beings in my life. My cat dying damn near killed me too!
So glad you get some more time with him and he with you. Thanks for all your support and putting up with
my bizarre phone calls from time to time.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Still here , I mean how could not any reader stay tuned 🙂
Charley, love having you ‘here’ wherever that may be, other than attentive to the developing
story. My pleasure to present it and then to get your own response…which was a very complimeentary one
and well received on this end.
Semper fi,
Jim
A fine lot of spooks you seem to have fallen in with.
The appearance is that you were naive as to the ease with which everything gets manipulated.
As intelligent as you are, I know that it didn’t last long, but had to be disconcerting to say the least.
Wasn’t the H model the start of the Spectre gunships? I’m sure those crews flying CAS became accustomed to those steep angles of bank.
An interesting episode despite the innocuous outward appearance.
Thank you Jim
Tim
The process of learning is very time and orientation sensitive, which is why I always enjoy encapsulating my students in classrooms
specially designed for that purpose or in field application situations where, again, the area could be prepared for the transmissiion
of knowledge and not just for the observations made in a tangential manner. Thanks for the greta comment and depending upon my
fast-accumulation life experience to survive and prosper.
Semper fi,
Jim
Does the object have anything to do with those propellers ?
Interesting question Chuck, but no, not to my knowledge. While I possessed the artifact it never gave any indication that it
might be able to ‘reach out from itself’ to effect other things around it. Thanks for the great question though.
Semper fi,
Jim
Wow, lions and tigers and bears!! Your not in Kansas any more, and you are not even sure where you are. Awesome read. Seems everyone but you knows what’s going on but you!!! The Company works in strange ways that’s for sure!! Good luck with your wife……
Semper fi sir our Captain!!
My wife should have been the CIA agent, in reality, Bob. Thanks for the greta comment and
you are very accurate in your description of how the agency really works with field people.
There’s no 007 crap anywhere involved.
Too bad, as I could have used that kind of internal image of myself.
Semper fi,
Jim
I have a tour guide that infected us in NEW Mexico “green chilies” and So Carolina rice, guaranteed a life long search…the 1911 is a mystery but but submit this is to develop religion of “always armed on a mission”?
Thanks Colonel, for the usual introspective yet externally descriptive comment.
Green chili is addictive if you eat it regularly for long enough, and I don’t know
about the rice but look forward to one day trying that.
Semper fi, my great friend,
Jim
it’s Kirtland AFB, unless you had to change it.
Yes, Tom, it is and was Kirkland, and I don’t know why it isn’t pronounced or spelled that way in my mind.
My great memory isn’t always spot on. That wasn’t a typo as I’ve done that since living near the base.
Thanks for the help.
Semper fi,
Jim
There would be no other perspective buyers
*prospective
Thank would be correct Don, and thanks for the help with this kind of vexing thing!
Semper fi,
Jim