Relief flooded through me. It was over. I’d survived another of what my team called ‘fire fights’. There was no way to adjust to the change from combat to whatever this was. It was still dark. My ears still rang. But with my night vision returning, I could vaguely see a moon above the ever-present clouds. There was no rain or mist. Just the quiet after the raging sounds of screaming combat with tracers, bullets and explosions blasting the air everywhere. I hadn’t lain in the muck watching for movement, or looking for an enemy who might be attacking at any second. I’d lain face-down like that very first night, my eyes squeezed shut and my face buried in jungle debris and mud. But it was over. I got to my feet and unkinked my shoulders, hips and knees.
The scout unit formed around me, Fusner standing at my side and Zippo moving around absently trying to clear his ears by sticking his fingers in them and shaking his head. I looked up, wondering how to spend a night in the bush with nothing. I’d left all of my stuff back up on the ridge. I wasn’t at all ready, physically or mentally, to be struck by a fast-moving freight train of a Marine Gunnery Sergeant. I flew through the air, the Gunny’s shoulder buried in my right side as he dug his boots into the cloying muck. The weight of his body drove me down hard onto a bed of fern fronds and rough-edged branches. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe even when he sat back and stared down at me, his anger all but paralyzing. Holding my sides I waited, panicked that I would never get my breath back.
“I removed the magazine and stuck it into my pocket to keep it clean, and then ejected the round from the chamber. The slide stayed back, held by the detent snapping up for just that purpose.”
Slide on a 1911 won’t automatically lock back on an empty chamber after you take the magazine out unless you manually push up on the slide lock. The magazine follower is what pushes up on the slide lock to lock the slide back after the last round in the magazine is fired. Junior had already taken the magazine out.
That is true, the magazine detent will hold the slide back after the last round is expended but
once the magazine is removed the slide will return to battery.
Thanks for the observant correction.
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks for having the sharp eye and reading so carefully.
Noted and corrected.
Semper fi,
Jim
No prob, James. I’m enjoying the read from the beginning. What unit were you with in VN? Can you say? I’m just a youngster but worked with a lot of VN vets on the PD. My cousin was with 2/9, I think just before Tet. I know he was at Con Thien right after it was overrun. Another guy I worked with was at Khe Sanh and is mentioned in “Siege In The Clouds”. Thanks for the compelling read.
James,
You left the safety on, I was an 0331 M 60 gunner, I put the gas piston in backwards, didn’t find out until they called guns up, my M60 was a single shot!!!! Serious F@&$k up. It was a single sniper, 1 shot, 1 kill. We never saw or found him or her. I understand what you talked about. Some talk about guilt, I think we felt it. Some things just never go away. Take care my brother.
The emotions run so high the small things, that turn into huge things, go to shit.
I had heard of that gas piston thing before but never operated a 60 myself. I remember
the barrel changes too and nobody ever having the asbestos mitt when it was needed.
Those things got hot real fast. Thanks for your work. Artillery and M60s were our
main staple over there.
Semper fi,
JIm
James,started reading long into last nite and again the last 4 hrs.You sure can write and I’m not a reader ,get bored too easy. I can relate some. I was in Nam in 69-70 Golf 2/7 1 st Marines. Mos was o331. Only thing I remember was getting off Comm flight at Da Nang.Next thing I was standing in formation at L Z Baldy. Golf was in from bush getting FNGs and I was scared shitless.They need 3 gunners and me being the fourth guy they put me in mortor platoon. I didn’t recieve enough training in the m 60 let along the 60 mike mike.I was lost and scared. So they made me ammo humper.Another thing that scared me was handing me a toy rifle made by Matel, looked like. Shot expert in boot with M14.Not like your experence,I lucked all the way through.Some more later . really enjoy your works.Semper Fi
The experience you write of catches not only the mood but the reality of going from the phenomenal world
to the one of combat reality. There’s no describing how that transition goes down on a general basis because it
was so different for each one of us. You give us some of the naked fear that dominates everything but has no place
in the training at all. Thanks for sharing and for reading as best you can.
Semper fi,
Jim
Another gut punch of reality. Every action has a reaction. Everything you do and don’t do has a consequence. But you have to do something. So what do you do? Do you just try to survive? You’re not born into this world a killer. You have to be taught to kill. And how well you learn determines weather you live or die. Your writing makes me question myself. Would I survive? Would I get killed? Would I kill? Would I get someone killed? I’ll never have the answers to my questions. But I do have you and men like you who have been out to the edge. And thanks to you and men like you I have reports from the edge. More gut punches of reality.
I didn’t know I was at the edge. I knew I was going to die and knew that it was imminent but did not
think of it as anything but maybe an awful unjust and unlikely fate after what I had always known.
Many of my thoughts were reactionary and not planned at all. I did not think of my mistakes as
real mistakes. I thought of them as choices I could have made better and then moved on, until later, much later.
Semper fi,
Jim
James,
I have been following your story from the start and just wanted to thank you for the insight into Vietnam. I have family members who served in the Marines in Nam that never talk about their experiences and your story has helped me better understand.
Yes Josh, it can a damned difficult subject to discuss because it’s not all very believable and,
should a combat veteran ever favor you with the truth, it might appear that
he or she is seeking sympathy or pity instead of simply reciting what in hell happened and how
it could have all been so unexpected, unreal and of course unwelcome!
Thank you for your interest and your reading, and the comment too….
Semper fi,
Jim
Dear Jim, Your Company sounds a little FUBAR but I’m pretty sure that even in The Nam Marine Capt. would only come to you from Annapolis not from West Point, just saying….?
Les, I only know it as it was the way it was.
He was far from being the last Poiner I’d meet in the corps,
and I don’t know what your own experience in the corps has been.
The Annapolis graduates were more plentiful but the Pointers were there.
Just saying…
Semper fi,
Jim
1st brigade 101’st we were a blocking force in the mountains outside the Ashau april 68 and we spent while the marines and 1’st cav were sweeping the valley. We were out there 52 day’s straight before we ever even saw a firebase or rear. Another op. we wen’t into the valley couple slick’s were shot down. That whole area of op the valley and the mountains was very scary and crawling with NVA. Your article here reminded me of it. Semper-fi Marine.
The different units that fought together and apart in that damned valley Tim. Some were close by and I wouldn’t even know they were there because
communication was so lousy from place to place and unit to unit. Battalion command never came down into the valley so it was at time impossible to figure out what was going on except by communicating with the other combat units and usually they didn’t have a clue either. Thanks for the comment and your support.
Semper fi,
Jim
good read james…just stumbled into this post..brought back memories…from your book down in the valley?
Down in the valley came later Rodger, after I’d healed up from the Corps and the
CIA came calling. I worked as a field agent for many years. Thirty Days preceded Down in the Valley
by a lot of years but the valley is pretty accurate from what happened on that failed mission too.
Thanks for ‘stumbling into’ this story, leading you to take the effort to write a comment.
Most people don’t comment and that’s okay. I understand. I just happened to work at writing long enough
that I got kinda good at it.
Thank you!
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks James…sorry for my lack of info..is 30days a book that is available? short story for a magazine?..did an online search for 30days and didn’t find anything…thanks
The first book of the Thirty Das Has September series is being put together for Amazon now.
The books will be three in series.
The First Ten Days should be out in February as I finish the Tenth Day,
(I am on the Ninth Day Second Part) in the writing of it.
Then I will continue in this odd way of publishing continuing chapters online
prior to publishing the book.
That is against all advice in the business but then the publishing business went to hell in
a hand bag a few years ago so there really are no rules left.
What the hell.
I didn’t start out to publish a book or a series of them, but it seems the right thing to do.
I guess.
Here I am writing away.
Thanks for the interest.
https://jamesstrauss.com will have all the data to find the book
and get it if you want it.
My pleasure.
Semper fi,
Jim
many thanks for the info…will get it for sure..RVN 66-67
Roger that Rodger! I will sure have it up here when we are ready.
Semper fi,
Jim
Mr. Strauss, I read everything from First Day. I have no word or words to convey to you my gratitude. I was a lucky one. Drafted into the Army in ’72 and spent both years stateside. I have a hard time admitting to being a “veteran” because of what I did not have to do and what guys like you did. I don’t know you but I sure am proud of you and your resilience in such a terrifying environment. Thank you for doing what you had to do. I am in awe of you and your men, you are true heroes. This country better be damn glad there are warriors such as you. May G_d bless you all the days of your life. Michael Mark
I guess nobody could ask for a higher compliment and so I humbly accept that gift from you.
I cannot claim a stake in the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I can only write it the way I remember it
and have assembled from the stuff I sent back.
Over the years there has to be a shading of that ‘truth’ in the work
so I do not want to mislead anyone reading this.
The first book will be published as a novel and not as a recording
of history.
For one thing, some of the things that happened are fairly reprehensible
and offend the sensibilities of people reading it and not literally fighting for life.
I’m doing the best I can to include all that and still not totally offend too many people.
Thanks for the support and comment, of course.
Semper fi,
Jim
keep up the story line as you remember it ….from an old grunt Semper Fi That A Shau Valley was hell….no other way to describe all that entered it came back changed …the NVA WERE NO DUMMIES…..
You could not be more correct Tony. You were there. It was something else again.
The most beautiful place until you stepped past the threshold and started down.
The only safety at all was on the mountain tops and ridges but there were fought over
to the death, and then there was the hell going on down below and the difficulties of getting
anything in or out of there.
Thanks for the comment and support…fellow traveler.
Semper fi,
Jim
What’s with the people correcting your Grammar? What crap! I was in the sky but the nite terrified me. I would count seconds to dawn. Merry Christmas James.
I too counted the seconds under my breath. One one thousand. For some reason it helped to get me to the light again, alive.
So many people went to the conflicts but then did not end up in the shit. They don’t know about the real crippling fear
or the wanton naked hope for a tomorrow. Any tomorrow.
Brother.
Semper fi,
Jim
Who are these people that keep correcting your Grammer? What crap!I was in the sky but the nite terrified me I’d count seconds till dawn. Merry Christmas James.
I’ve been reading this saga from the first day it popped up on my phone. I wait impatiently for each new portion to be revealed. You have sucked me into your story, James, and I can’t wait for the next dawn to come.
I was too young for Vietnam, but had a brother in the army during that time, on a buffer team based in Hawaii, awaiting deployment, so I remember watching the news every night in hopes of seeing a familiar face, seeing casualties being loaded into the choppers, and hoping he was not one of them. Turns out he never got sent over, and that’s ok with us, but I feel for you, & the others who DID have to experience it.
Thank you for your service, and your sacrifice.
Thanks, to ALL of you.
Well, Joel, what can I say. Thank you for reading the work with such interest.
Keeps me going, knowing there are people out there who actually give a damn about what happened so long ago.
I am glad your brother didn’t go and I hope you have a great relationship to this day.
It was a strange and difficult time and I am doing my best to portray it as it went down,
instead of how it should have gone down.
Thanks a lot.
Semper fi,
Jim
tuck it should be tucked it and Gunny says later I’m going to go. He might have said I’m gonna go? Not sure cloying is the correct adjective to describe mud. There was another spot where the word whole was used . Not sure if that was your intended descriptor. Excellent writing. Not fun when someone dies and you could have prevented it or done more. Thank you for writing your experiences and damm you for doing the same.
Yes, to all Mark. Editing is a bitch! That’s where you go back and not only fix the mistakes but attempt to
fashion the words to better transmit the meaning. It’s hard to get it just right without spending hours upon hours on the work.
Thanks for pointing stuff out that you see. Your literary sense is pretty damned good.
Semper fi,
Jim
I think the phrase you want is pell mell rather than pall mall.
Mark, you are most correct. I hate this word correct computer stuff. I know I wrote pell mell but there it is.
Thank you for noticing and for commenting about it.
Semper fi,
Jim
Keep the story coming. I was Marine Air Wing, Hueys, and still wake up and think I am back on the flight line or in the air, dodging incoming.
Thank you for the interest Ed. I will keep the story coming as long as I am able to.
I am working on the next segment this very evening. Glad you care.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was in Viet Nam in ’71 &’72 and was shot at frequently but I was in a bird dog or a cobra depending on what day it was and we always returned fire. Only province that I worked that had free fire zone was Long Than province and we could shoot at any time I was never eye to eye with the VC or NVA like you guys. Thank you for doing what you had to do. It took the whole team to fight the enemy but you guys were the backbone of the entire effort. Thank you
Thanks for reporting on your own tour over there. There were so many different operations and jobs
in the war zone. It’s easy to think in terms of what we were doing out in the field. Only subsequently, and much later,
did I figure out that the front line in contact combat units were not the norm in that warfare zone.
Thanks for thanking me and saying what you said.
Semper fi,
Jim
James, It never ceases to amaze me that you folks in Combat can remember all this stuff. I served in the Brown Water Navy carrying resupply to places like Cua Viet and as far south as Vung Tau and can’t remember even half of the shipmates I served with for over two years!!
It is remarkable but quite ordinary for humans to hold vital burned in memories from
emotional charged events. And those combat events were about as emotionally charged as things could ever get, I would presume.
thanks you for the comment and reading the work.
Semper fi,
Jim
Brings back a lot of memories tet offensive 68/69. My Air Cav unit took 94 % wounded and dead, mostly wounded thank God. that number included me, twice. You are a very talented writer. I wrote for AT&T so I have some concept of what good writing looks like. Thank you.
Al. Casualties were very high in some units, like your own and mine, but that’s not how the military reported them. They would space the numbers out so that no units took real hard hits in any short period of time. They’d learned in earlier wars with the media that losing a lot of guys in one engagement or short period of time would be portrayed as a ‘loss.’ Can’t have those. We ‘won’ our way up and down, over and across, that whole country! Thanks for the straight from the shoulder shit and also liking what I’m writing. Keeps me going because I know the big guns will be coming when they get a load of what I’m writing!
Semper fi,
Jim
Many have done things they regret from those day weather in combat or not, I am one of them that have some rthings I think I would do diferant, I just keep telling myself that I have had a good life and if one thing were changed I could not be were I am now. And I am in a good spot. God directed us all to be who and where we are. Don
I don’t think anybody with any sanity can argue your point Don. I am pleased that you have found some ‘adjusted’ contentment
through the years. Me too, but in different ways. We were all so different from one another, just like now. Thanks for the
comment and the reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
Sounds and smells trigger a lot of memories. I think that’s the worst. People will look at you like you have lost your mind. Aco 1st Bn 7th Reg. 68/69. Semper Fi
Well James, a lot of veterans coming home from that one got real quiet real quick.
It was not a believable war, at least not the stuff that went on out in the field at the company level.
But here we are. Made it, you and I. The smells and the sounds are all still there. A friend of mine
bought an AK and shot the think on his property not far from me out here in the country. Man oh man!
Talk about know that sound. I didn’t think I did, at least not that fast and not that accurately!
Thanks for sharing and reading.
Jim
James, you remember Jerry Hollingsworth KIA May 68 A/1/7 during a on line frontal assault on concrete bunkers, machine guns and RPG’s prelude to Operation Alan Brooke? Last time I saw him he said he knew he wasn’t going to make it back.
Yes, sir…I do remember him. I hope you yourself are doing well.
Semper fi,
Jim
Just caught up with the eighth day and night. Again, amazing detail and you put it together wonderfully. Keep up the good work . It seems like the little things evoke the most forgotten memories…good and bad.
Thank you James, for the reading and the compliment. I am working away at it.
The holidays don’t make it any easier but then there were no holidays over there.
Good to reflect and think, especially in these turbulent political times.
Hope more kids do not have to go off and do that sort of thing.
Semper fi,
Jim
Merry Christmas,LT. I was in the Big Red One, IIICorp 67-68, your story awakens memories long buried.I read it late at nite when my wife sleeps,and I’m alone with my thoughts. Thanks, somehow reading your story is good for many of us. Semper Fi from someone who was a soldier, once, and young.
My brother was with the Big Red One so that outfit is kind of special to me.
I too am a late night writer and reader and that goes all the way back to that
night war we fought. Thanks for reading and thinking about all of it in your
own nights. And the neat comment, by the way.
Semper fi,
Jim
We were a platoon blocking for a company of “Wolfhounds.” I forgot about it until reading “The 8th Night” segment. I remembered the bullets going by that night with every contact “The Wolfhounds” were in. In the morning, after we got back to the battalion area in a large clearing, we had about 30 NVA “Chieu Hoi”. I was a 11B10 carrying a M60 with Bravo Company of the 2/22 Mech. 25th Inf, 2nd platoon. Keep writing, Jim. I enjoy every segment.
I am not sure, Mike, whether telling this story has brought memories back to me or to the people who’ve been reading!
Some of the things said, like the Chieu Hoi passes, help tickle me too. I hated those, by the way. What were we supposed to
do with those guys out there in the middle of nowhere? The choppers were not big enough to carry them and the wounded, as well.
Thank you for enjoying the read and making such an accurate and thought provoking comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
James, Wow! Took me back to my first night fight. If you haven’t lived it , you can feel it but you won’t understand it. Merry Christmas, LT and keep up the good fight (your writing) to let others know what we endured and to help some of us get back home.
Jim,
> Guess “Cool Hand*” has something to say: as others have already said, what happened to Alfi wasn’t your fault – you might have missed, or it might have even been another NVA who tossed the grenade. No matter who, what, or how it happened, it was meant to be, just as it was meant for you to be the dark angel of mercy who ended his pain; remember, you were forgiven by the only person who mattered.
Semper Fi & God Bless,
Tim
(*Thanks for the moniker by the way, I’m honored someone who’s seen the elephant so up close would choose a name like that for a “virgin” like me; I’d like to think I’d have “earned” it myself under the “right” conditions as well.)
At the time I was totally taken up with myself and my survival, and the intensity of a
building guilt that would plague me for many years.
Thank you for your support Cool Hand, and also laying it out the way
I’ve worked to come to think of it all, and there’s still twenty one days to go!
Semper fi,
Jim
Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades. We all learned that analogy before playing either of the games.
If you duck, and the person behind you doesn’t, how can you possibly have guilt for that.
I understand the rationalization, but not the lifetime guilt.
LT Alfi was a goner either way. You did what had to be done. I’m sure he would of done the same for you. Peace.
In retrospect I could not agree with you more, but it has taken a whole lot of years to get this far.
Back then, it was all on me. All. Thanks for understanding and for writing about it.
Semper fi,
Jim
I can understand your feelings. While with the 3rd Marines in upper I corps I had a member of our squad volunteer for a mission that by all rights should have been mine except I had gone on an earler mission in his place. Anyway he died in a well planned NVA ambush. I have wrestled with this in my mind for almost 47 years. Thanks for your story
Yes, it is the nights Ken. I have night vision goggles but it does not help. It’s the nights when this stuff comes.
Like the nights over there. The analytical conclusion is that you should feel nothing. After all, it was a horrid war. A counselor for the VA
or group would tell you that you were being unreasonable with yourself. But they would have it wrong. A very very small part of you went with that
guy and that small part did not come back. You miss that small part and will forever. Like me. I have a few small parts that went away.
I live with people who don’t know what those small parts are so I must live alone with the fact that they are gone and will not be returning.
You know. I know. It has to be enough.
Semper fi,
Jim
Another segment of your life shared with us and your writing style. It takes me right along with you. This should be a required read for all BEFORE they head into a combat zone. Though it could never prepare them for what is awaiting them.