Fusner found me with some difficulty, as I’d gone pretty deep under the camouflage provided by the packed down plant debris that served as the jungle floor. Although the stuff allowed me to hide from the gunships above, it did nothing in providing any kind of cover. A .22 bullet would go through it like it was made of butter. Fusner pulled my right arm out of the jumbled mess, and part of my torso followed.
“Sir, I’ve got them check-fired,” he said, leaning down close to my left ear. “The supply birds are coming in. Zippo and Jurgens are working their way upriver where they’re going to land.”
I crawled out from under the pungent smelling mess I’d hidden in.
“Get one of the supply choppers to pick up Tex on the other side,” I ordered Fusner, trying to clear the mess of jungle crap that had gotten into every part of my utilities.
Only a moment earlier I’d been cool and swept clean for the second time in less than an hour. The cloying heat, dirt and misery was back, along with the drums. Either my hearing was gone again, I was getting used to them or the drums were not as loud as before. Their message of our hoped for death was the same, however.
The Skyraiders came in one more time, the light in the valley fading fast as the sun was long set over the farther cliff face to the west of the river.
“Binoculars?” I asked of Fusner, when he was done transmitting. I hadn’t thought to carry them with me across the river, and now I was glad. They’d probably have gone to the bottom like my .45. I reached down to the Colt and slid my hand into the perfectly made butt of the gun. It wasn’t my .45. It was better.
I laid on the berm, like I’d done before, trying to focus on the same scene, but the waning light and the fact that I couldn’t see anybody down near the bend of the river where Tex waited for medivac, bothered me. I checked the lens surfaces and peered downriver again. After concentrating for almost a minute I found where Tex lay. He was still there, but there was nobody with him.
“What the hell?” I whispered out into the drumming air.
I moved the glasses to concentrate on the end of the bridge. Only two men crawled along the bridge’s surface. I knew it had to be the Gunny and the corpsman. How could they have left Tex alone? The instant the question appeared in my mind, I knew there could only be one answer. They would not have left him alive. Tex didn’t make it, just like the corpsman had predicted.
“The chopper’s not going over there, is it?” I asked Fusner, keeping my attention on the bridge while my insides began to churn.
“No, sir,” Fusner replied, softly.
Stephens came out of the jungle to lay down next to me. In spite of the fact that he’d somehow managed not to come across with the rest of us it was still good to see him.
“We lost Tex,” I said, needlessly, knowing he had to know. I looked around me, wondering where my pack was so I could put the binoculars away.
Then I remembered that Zippo, who had my pack, was hopefully guiding the choppers in not far from where we lay. I felt the need to get to the resupply area but I knew I needed to wait for the Gunny. Instead of moving I checked out my scout team. I had Stephens back, with Fusner, Zippo and Nguyen.
The Gunny crawled through the brush, coming to a stop in the middle of where the rest of us lay.
“Tex didn’t make it,” I said to him, knowing there was some blame in my voice I could not get out.
“Left him out there for too long,” the Gunny replied, saying it in his own accusatory tone, as if I’d left Tex over there to die. “We couldn’t see him. Who’s Jones?”
A flare of outraged anger burst in my brain. I listened to the drums beating, and looked up to the darkening sky. I could hear the Huey supply choppers coming in further upriver and I had no idea who was going to be there to meet them. I had no letter to my wife buried deep in my left thigh pocket because I’d not been able to find one waking minute to write. All I could do was breathe in and out and stare at the Gunny. I tried to think it through before saying anything. What was the man up to, since what was apparent seldom dictated what the man was planning or pulling off? The Gunny had been angry with me ever since the company got to the river, and every encounter with it just seemed to make him madder. It didn’t blow right by me that I’d been unable to call in any artillery support since we’d moved into an area where we had none, and therefore my likely importance was diminished, whether I wanted to accept or accommodate that or not.
“Everyone hit in this latest operation was hit on this side of the river, not mine,” the Gunny added, when the silence stretched out without anybody filling it.
“Stay with me,” I said to the Gunny. “The rest of you get your asses to the choppers. Barnes, Jones and Tex will have to wait until tomorrow, unless we’ve got other casualties.” I stopped, letting my comment hang there.
The Gunny shook his head, almost imperceptibly, before taking out a cigarette and going through the ornate process of lighting it with his special lighter after tamping the pack, that had to have been well tamped several times before.
The rest of the company had crossed so it was likely that everyone was proceeding to the choppers, without direction or control. The company and resupply and command of that area would have to wait. I stared at the Gunny, my eyes enflamed with rage, and waited until he’d blown one inhalation of smoke out into the now misting air.
“You want the radio?” Fusner asked, standing and holding the straps a few inches out from his chest, as if he was going strip out of it and drop it down by my side.
I shook my head. What was left of my scout team crawled away. I turned to the Gunny and our eyes locked. And my rage was gone, as if a switch had been turned. I was back. In the real world. The world I was coming to know. Hating it had nothing to do with surviving it. I needed the Gunny. I had to make the Gunny need me again, and that meant moving the unit to get under the umbrella of artillery fire that lay just north of the airstrip. The Army was trying to build a new firebase for the local Army of the Republic of Vietnam, which should have been a humor skit on some television show, except for the fact that it was real. Our company was going to have to work with that ridiculous killer of a mission, but I would try to keep my Marines as far from the old air strip as possible while it was being done. I would keep as many of them alive as I could, and myself, above all.
The Army might have learned something from sending a forward contingent to the hell hole of a death arena and losing every one, but maybe not. If not, then a whole lot of Army personnel were going to die. It was my intent not to die with them.
“It’s not working out,” I said to the Gunny, across the short distance between us.
“What?” the Gunny replied, blowing out another long streamer of smoke.
“When you speak to me in front of the men, it’s not working,” I said, trying to broach the subject as carefully as possible. “We’re either in this together or we’re not. Being in it together was your idea, or I wouldn’t be here anymore.”
“I’m impressed,” the Gunny replied, surprising me. “You’re right hand isn’t sitting on top of that automatic.”
Suddenly, the drums stopped and we both looked up, as if their constant deathly reminder and harassment had come from above. Only the darkening sky was there, with a mist condensing and beginning to rain down.
“I’m no threat to you, and you know it,” I answered, and then waited in silence, broken only by the sound of distant chopper blades and the ever present whistling rush of the nearby water. Finally, I had to say more. “You were on the other side of the river with the company and I was over here. Now we’re both over here together, or are we?”
“I’ll handle Jurgens and Sugar Daddy and you do what it is you do,” the Gunny replied.
It was a weak come back and his response didn’t answer anything about the mess we were in, but there was one thing I could not let go.
“Why didn’t you send someone down to where Tex was?” I asked, almost wishing I hadn’t asked, but unable to stop myself.
“Everyone saw Tex take the hit in his chest.,” the Gunny said. “Nobody comes back from that kind of chest wound without a chopper being right on the scene. There was no way he was going to make it, and I wasn’t sending my Marines down, and out into the open to go after him. He was Army. Let the Army come after his body.”
“Your Marines?” I asked, my voice going cold. I didn’t move my hand to rest on the butt of the Colt but, for the first time, I felt like it.
“Our Marines,” he finally corrected, his voice low, as if the words had been forced out of him.
“Those are Army choppers coming in to supply us,” I said. It’s their gunships protecting us while they come, and it’s their artillery that’s going to be firing to save us once we get back in range.”
The Gunny buried his cigarette stub in the mud before climbing to his feet.
“A man’s got to do what he thinks is best, Junior.”
“What about the Ontos at the airstrip?” I asked, understanding the Gunny was going back to the company without helping me, but not interfering either. “We’re probably going to have ammunition but we need somebody who can fire it.”
“Got that covered,” the Gunny replied, turning his back and heading out into the near dark in the direction the others had taken.
I followed, wanting to say some things to his back, but not being able to think of how I would phrase anything that might have real meaning. There was no contest in the unit. Some of the Marines had come to respect me but nothing like the popularity the Gunny enjoyed. My scout team might do what I ordered if it differed with what the Gunny wanted, but I couldn’t count on anyone else. Which meant that I could not afford to alienate the Gunny no matter how overbearing or wrong he might be. Tex and I had gotten the company across the impossible river but there would be no credit coming to either of us for that extraordinary feat. Combat only paid back in the shortest of terms, before fear came rushing in to fill the void and replace normal emotions with its crawling, cowardly and frightened singularity. I couldn’t threaten the Gunny. I could only ask and encourage him to do the few things I’d found to be most beneficial for my own survival.
It took about ten minutes to work through the foliage near the river, and come upon the perimeter the company had set up around the temporary landing zone. The Gunny walked through and so did I, right behind him. The choppers had landed as far from the river as they could get without moving in too close to the wall that blocked in the western side of the valley. A dense jungle stood between the wall of the valley and the open area before the water. The company had penetrated the jungle, and then radiated out in a semi-circle onto the mud and sand of another of the many areas that were once river bottom and probably would be again in the future.
The Gunny stopped at the edge of the jungle area near the center of the area where the perimeter was established. The Marines sat and lay with their weapons ready, but most were eating. C-rations had run out a day earlier for most, including myself and the scout team. Seeing them eating stirred my own hunger pangs. I went straight for one of the piles of supplies. My choice was easy. There were several boxes of discarded Ham and Mothers. I tore one apart and knelt down to open the can next to where the Gunny, Jurgens and Sugar Daddy crouched down.
“You’re going back in the morning for that officer’s body?” Sugar Daddy asked, without preamble.
I looked at the Gunny. How Sugar Daddy knew what I was going to do at all amazed me. We’d only been inside the perimeter for a few moments. The gunny opened his own cans and ate, however, without looking at me or entering the conversation.
“No, I’m going back tonight, in a few minutes,” I replied between bites of the cold greasy food. “The medivac can pick him up with Barnes and Jones at first light. He’ll wash away or maybe the Army choppers won’t find or bother to find him in the morning, unless I bring him across.”
I waited for some argument. If the men knew I was going back, and the Gunny was against it, then it didn’t take a genius to figure that they’d be opposed to the idea, as well. Tex was also an officer and I now understood what most enlisted men in combat thought of officers.
“I’m going with you,” Jurgens said, shocking me to the point of stopping eating. I looked at him like he was an alien, but couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Barnes was one of my men,” he finished.
I looked at the man very closely. What he’d said didn’t seem to make much sense. I wasn’t going back for Barnes. He was already on our side of the river.
“I’ll go too,” Sugar Daddy said. “We can take a squad apiece since we got plenty of ammo now. Jones was mine. That Tex guy was trying to save us. He can come home.”
My knife remained in my hand, half way into the opened C-Rations can. I didn’t know what to say, or even if what I was hearing was real.
“It’s a bad idea,” the Gunny said. “Let it wait until tomorrow. They’re all dead. They’re not going anywhere. The object is to keep as many of us alive as possible.”
The Gunny’s words brought me back to reality. Maybe it was a bad idea. I knew I was going, however, with whomever from my scout team would volunteer to go with me. I stayed silent, wondering how this new development would play out.
“You ordering us not to go with Junior?” Jurgens asked the Gunny.
Once again, the situation seemed surreal. The sergeants were asking another sergeant about permission to go with the company commanding officer and it seemed logical and normal. I waited for the Gunny to answer, along with the two platoon commanders.
The Gunny stopped eating, put his C-Ration can down, and took a cigarette from his left breast pocket. He lit up without answering, keeping the three of us waiting in silence.
“We lost a lot of men today,” he finally said, after blowing out his third puff of smoke. “Some Army and some of our own. All the casualties were on this side of the river, not our side.”
I realized that the Gunny was speaking only to Jurgens and Sugar Daddy, like I wasn’t there, but I didn’t comment. Whatever was going on was important, although I couldn’t figure out exactly why.
“We could take a squad apiece,” Sugar Daddy replied, looking at Jurgens.
“I sent Tex out there to do what I was supposed to do,” Jurgens replied. “I didn’t think he’d get nailed.”
“None of you think here, if you haven’t noticed,” the Gunny said, his voice rising slightly although not to the point where it projected anger. “You just do. I’m the one who thinks, and I think it’s a bad idea. We’re still losing the same number as before Junior came aboard, if you haven’t notice that either. But Junior’s the company commander, again. I can’t tell you not to go. I just think it’s a bad idea to waste living Marines on dragging around dead Army officers.”
“Junior promoted him to XO of the company after he lost his own men,” Jurgens replied, his voice almost inaudible in trying to face down the Gunny.
“What?” the Gunny asked, with a gasp, nearly choking on cigarette smoke.
“I made him XO after he lost his men,” I agreed. “What was he supposed to do, with nobody left?
“An Army First Lieutenant?” the Gunny coughed out. “You made him a Marine XO of a fucking Marine Company in combat under a Second Lieutenant?”
“So he was like a real Marine when he got it,” Jurgens concluded, as if what he was saying and hearing was not something out of a bad animated cartoon.
“You’re looney, each one of you,” the Gunny said, standing up, his C-rations spilling to the ground. “I’m going to lead the company back to the airfield and get everyone to a real position of security, at least for the rest of this night. Do what you want. I’ll be on the command net when Junior’s next little plan blows the shit out of all of you.”
The Gunny walked to the wall of jungle and forced his way through. Zippo, Nguyen, Stephens and Fusner appeared, as if they’d been waiting just outside the small circle. They formed a second circle around Jurgens, Sugar Daddy and I.
“Resupply fucked up,” Jurgens reported, pointedly ignoring the Gunny’s dramatic departure. “They didn’t know to give us all tracers for the M-16s, but we got about thirty rounds of 106 for the Ontos. I’ll take Barn’s squad, three fire teams and three 60s.”
“I’ll pull Jones’ squad,” Sugar Daddy said. “What’s the plan, Junior?”
It was almost night, and the mist was thickening, but the drums had not returned. I felt like there was a ray of hope that had somehow penetrated the stygian darkness of my life.
Jurgens and Sugar Daddy were working together at something. What they were working on didn’t matter as much as the fact that they were together. Jurgens even sounded like he was disappointed that the tracer resupply wasn’t there, when only days before it was only tracers that had begun stopping First and Fourth Platoons from shooting at each other whenever it was dark. I looked from one man to the other, afraid that some exotic plot might be in the works to finish me off once we were far enough from the main elements of the company itself. I got no feeling or clue about that, however. We were going to recover the body of a Marine, the way they saw it. I wondered if Tex had made it whether that would have given him some satisfaction. I didn’t have to really think about it though. I knew it would.
“Finish with chow, drop your packs and let the other guys move them to the old runway with the Gunny. We move light, with guns and ammo only. Once we reach the bridge, Sugar Daddy’s squad forms a perimeter and protects the rear. Jurgens, you take your squad and hold the bridge itself. I’ll take Nguyen over, untie the rope from the other side, get Tex’s body tied to it and then Zippo and Stephens will pull the three of us back to the bridge.”
I looked at the two platoon leaders and I couldn’t shake a small growing fear that they had not worked together to do much outside of killing one another since I’d been in country. Here would be two smaller versions of the same racial problem, loaded for bear, distant from the company, and capable of going at one another without mercy or moderation of any sort. Was the Gunny right? Was the risk too great? And if Sugar Daddy and Jurgens decided to settle their differences on this night would not my scout team and I be right in the crossfire?
There was no answer to my question. I could not think of one thing to change that would minimize the risk or come up with any decision made by me that might stop a wholesale slaughter should one begin to occur. The other side of the argument, the one I was praying was happening even before we got underway, was that there seemed a glimmer of hope that the company might possibly be somehow melded back together into something resembling what the entire history and tradition of the Marine Corps trained for and indicated was the best infantry fighting unit ever devised by man.
I could not counsel with the Gunny. Fate had closed that door, at least temporarily. I had to go it alone.
“Go get your squads together before the Gunny gets everyone moving,” I ordered Jurgens and Sugar Daddy. “We meet back here in fifteen minutes.”
Both men moved out. Neither Marine had appeared with the usual body guards they’d always had accompanying them before. That seemed another good sign. Was a dead officer’s body really worth it? Was the possibility of healing the company’s racial rift worth the risk?
I turned to my scout team when the two sergeants were gone.
“Stephens, thank Nguyen for what he did on the bridge,” I ordered, as they gathered around and squatted down.
Stephens spoke to Nguyen. The Montagnard looked at me while Stephens talked but the enigmatic man said nothing, his stare into my eyes without any expression at all.
“The hard part will be pulling us back over,” I pointed out when Stephens was done. “Nguyen and I can handle getting the body to the rope, but the current is pretty fierce and you’ll be pulling against it with three of us in the water.”
“What if something goes wrong behind us?” Stephens asked. The other men stared at me with him.
I realized that they had the same misgivings and fears as I did. All of them had been with the company longer than I had. What might be happening between the whites and black elements of the company was something new, and in combat something new usually got you or somebody nearby killed.
“If things go south, then you only have one choice, and that’s to come across the water. There’s cover and concealment on the other side and it’s going to be a dark night. Live through the night and fight another day tomorrow.”
Only when I was done did I realize that my entire plan had little to do with the enemy or fighting the enemy. I was once more trapped inside a killing blender set to pulse, and I had no idea when the pulse button might be pushed.
“Eat some chow and get ready to move out,” I ordered.
“What’s our plan called?” Fusner asked.
“Throwing the Dice,” I replied, not having to think about that title at all.
Featured Photo: from Delta 2-7.org
Sorry to hear about your cat Harvey shuffling off his mortal coil James. I hope you find a new one to serve as your writing buddy. We’ll be waiting when you feel like getting back to writing again. Hang in there LT. Semper Fi, Pat
The next segment will go up in the morning and possibly readers who know about the passing of Harvey and the
coincidence of my occurrences written about Vietnam might reverberate. I don’t know but it has been a tough
time. Rough path…
Semper fi,
Jim
It appears to me that your website is a good venue for the TRUTH. Just wondering what you and US veterans everywhere think of this youtube.com offering. All veterans should take a look at this and respond with your thoughts. Is it possible our Government could have scammed all veterans… again. Please look at this youtube video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6OAzGMV_wQ
Just copy and paste this into your web address bar or Google The Secret Code on Veterans DD214 full, Edwin Crosby 111. Interesting.
Would be more interesting if they published all the supposed codes and then showed vets where to go
to look on their DD214s. I checked my own and found not codes at all…
Semper fi,
Jim
So sorry for your loss Lt. Take your time, we’ll all still be here.
Semper fi
Should be done with next segment today. Thanks a lot for understanding…
Semper fi,
Jim
James it has been over a week, what the fornicate your killing me
My cat died. It has been a big deal so bear with me a bit here….
I know it sounds silly but believe me its not..
Semper fi,
Jim
I had to put my horse down 5 years ago, still miss him all the time. The love for a dear pet is something only the person attached to that pet can understand. Please forgive my previous comment.
That is not an issue Frank, you last correspondence, mean. I know that most people will not understand.
Some people here have said “it’s just a cat,” and I understand. Some people have even referred to Tex
as being an Army officer, as if he was something less than a Marine. I have heard people talk about
the civilians aboard the space shuttle Challenger as having been somehow more valuable in their loss than
the other military crew. Life. People are people and you can’t go through life always looking for or expecting
justice or understanding. Those commodities are rare and to much appreciated when found.
Semper fi,
Jim
James, with the PTSD you have, I have no doubt that going back and recalling and writing this is walking you on the edge of an emotional cliff that the addition of the loss of Harvey has really kicked your psyche butt. Sorry for your loss. I lost so many pets when I was young, I don’t keep any now. The Army and the Marines in I Corp worked closely together. In ’68 the 1st Brigade, 5th Division was under the operational control of the 3rd Marine Division. I recently got to know a Staff Sergeant with the 3rd that did three tours as the platoon sergeant of a weapons platoon. He runs a shooting range in Berryville, AR. When I commented that I went over when the 1/5 went in country, all he said was, “You saved our ass.”, meaning with manpower and material to reinforce them at a critical time. When I finished shooting I went to pay….all he said was, “You can shoot anytime, but you can’t pay.” Everyone bled red. Sorry for the length of this. One of the reasons I have tried to cut back my comments is I have problems keeping them short. Like everyone else, I check daily for the next chapter. Sent your book to my MI partner from there who just had a knee replacement to give him something to do while rehabbing. Joe
Well, now that was a lot of words well worth reading.
Thank you so much.
I can’t expect many to understand
Tex’s loss with Harvey’s throwing me into a state of give-a-shit-itis.
I am coming back and half way through the next chapter.
Somebody wished that Tex was not dead. I wished it too and still do, along with Harvey.
Thanks for caring enough to write and understanding enough to write in detail.
Semper fi,
Jim
I suspect Tex will be alive when you get back, getting suspicious about your gunny
Can’t support the speculation on here, as you know, but thanks for thinking about it and writing on here about what you
think…
Semper fi,
Jim
No reason to think the recovery mission won’t turn to shit like all the rest have..I know you did your best under the impossible mess you were thrown into Lt.
RIP Harvey.
Thanks Sherm. Funny thing to write but meaningful….and appreciated…
Semper fi,
Jim
I’m ready for my weekly fix.
Semper fi
Working away, Luigi…and thanks for the compliment in that statement written here…
Semper fi,
Jim
So sorry to hear of your loss of Harvey. Unless you’re a cat lover I don’t know if you can understand the depth of the attachment or the soothing of the soul those little felines can give to a person. I’ve read this chapter six times now. I’ve hesitated to reply as there are so many changes happening within the ranks from the action that has just occurred. Have my thoughts where this is heading. Will have to wait anxiously to see. As always, over the top nail biter!! I can say it looks like you’re more back in the wire while some may be worried about slipping out.
Thank you Jack, and for the huge compliment of reading the chapter six times.
I will definitely have something out soon because who cannot after someone like you says something like that!
Semper fi,
Jim
Hey Lt. Have to feel a little for Gunny it his episode. Not for how he is reacting to the evidently changing relationship between the troops, but why he is reacting in that way. Have a feeling he may be beginning to doubt himself and his ability to read new situations as they arise. Which, I am sure you know, can be dangerous to all concerned. Take care Lt..
Thanks for the deep analysis and your opinion Wes. I must admit that retrospect is
a lot easier than it was under the conditions and at that age…
Semper fi,
Jim
Liz B Underfoot and I extend condolences on the loss of your cat Lt.
Cats are special people, especially cats who tolerate old warriors.
I wonder how much of the story is involved with the depth of my loss over Harvey.
He was an extraordinary cat, there was no question about that but what about the other guys
in the company? How am I mixing them up and why has one got to do with anything of the other?
I know that there are no good answers to stuff like that but I thought I’d write it anyway.
Thanks for the deep comment and the sincere care, as usual…
Semper fi,
Jim
Hello again Sir , So a few questions if ya don’t mind . Have you ever gone back to the Nam ?If so would you mind explaining the feelings. If you haven’t what are your thoughts about a visit. Do you feel it would be helpful or do ya feel it would be a bad idea? Do you think you might be able to find something you lost there ?, Do ya think you might be able to close the door or would it open an old wound? Thank you Sir
I do not know. I was CIA for many years and was sent to Hanoi for mission purposes.
But when I arrived they took my passport and I had to stay on the plane until it left.
They knew something. So I never made it back. I am not sure what walking the A Shau
would be like, because I’ve seen pictures and it’s all developed now. Built on blood.
I don’t know, Ryan. Not necessary but I don’t have a clue about how I’d fee…
Semper fi,
Jim
Fifteenth Day. Third part????
Yes, it is coming but I have been delayed a bit by what seems like minor
deal but my 17 year buddy and writing cat died and I’ve been a bit out of sorts…
I’ll be back. Sorry…
Semper fi,
Jim
Sorry for your loss
I enjoy the read
Thanks Jerry, I also enjoy reading the comments you guys put up!
Semper fi,
Jim
Not a minor deal Jim. My heart goes out to you for your loss. Worse day of my life was when I had to have my 15 year old Beagle put down for liver cancer. Still not over it, like losing a kid.
Take your time, heal a little. We will all be here when the next episode comes.
Thanks a lot Richard. Yes, it has been a much greater blow than I would ever have assumed.
My relationship developed subtly over the years with that animal and I was not totally aware
of the depth or the pervasiveness….
Semper fi, and thanks for understanding…
Jim
I remember when I had to take “Emma the Cat” in to be put to sleep. I would rather it been me. She was so cool. Knew just how long to push it before she became friends again. My friend found her in a snow bank as a kitten on her back about froze. I wanted no part of her until she decided that I would be her friend. Sorry for the loss. Animals are the only ones that can “see us”. Take care, and we will be here when you get back. Take care.
Thanks Mike for the kind and deep words.
Seems like some feel that Harvey going is some kind of excuse for
something like feeling bad for myself.
It would be so nice to feel sorry for myself rather than even darker thoughts.
Harvey went quick and painless but my lot is different and the reflection of that can be painful.
I am taking care and working to rebuild the labyrinth of my own psychology.
Semper fi,
Jim
Hey Jim: Sorry for your loss of the cat,, pets take a piece of you when they pass,, I’ve read the first part of “30 Days has September” and am anxiously awaiting the second part, Thanks for a damn good read,, from a Nam’ Vet,, Tom R.
Thanks a million Tom and for the compliments too…
Semper fi,
Jim
Wow;
Jim, I’m a “survivor of English 101”. Being a “speed reader”, I sometimes overlook typos. Forgive me for not bringing errors to your attention.
It’s a miracle that you can recall Vietnam events that occurred many years ago.
Thanks for your comment, Pete….
Writing a manuscript when arriving home in 1970,
and my wife keeping the daily letters has helped.
Semper fi,
Jim
Please forgive the indelicate question, how many men have been lost to this point? 20+? (I would have to go back to the start and count) 10% of your company? Amazing story, look forward to reading more.
We were losing a ton. Close combat in the jungle, what with the booby traps
and the inability to have good fields of fire cost us dearly down in that valley.
It was damned difficult to take advantage of our huge technological advantages.
As you read….
Thanks for the nice thoughtful comment…
Semper fi,
Jim
In the Ashau, losing men was so common that we soon learned not to remember the other mens’ names. Two close buddies (a combat reduced fire team) and we watched each others’ backs, but no friends, thanks. Hurts too much to see them blown away. My trip down the Valley of Death took 51 days, and we had 51 firefights. Plenty of KIA and WIA, luckily no MIA. Semper Fi!
I Co. 3/9 1969
Yes, Andrew, sometimes hard to get some soldiers and Marines to believe when they served in more
pacified areas or areas adjacent to firebases. Thanks for your forthrightness and writing about it here…
Semper fi,
Jim
Good job LT drama’s always better than bullets right?
Needed the brake ,needed the sleep. LOL
can’t make the 4th VA’s got me tied down till Aug.
Keep us abreast of festivities please.
I will so do, Stephen. Thanks for wanting to go.
And thanks for the kind words written on here too…
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim,
It’s clear from your written thoughts and dialogue that you are hyper-tuned to the behavior of the two NCOs, watching their every move, not believing that change *could* be happening. Your team is right there with you (a true team!). I am fascinated with the psychology of the whole story and your ability to convey the tension in spades to us folks that have never sniffed a shot in anger. Charlie Mike.
Thanks daddy, it was indeed something else again, especially for a 23 year old to try to
accommodate right after college!
Semper fi,
Jim
So dam good of you guys to go get Tex body for his family mainly, you all were very brave and loyle to your your fellow warriors, impressive to say the least Don
Things happen in that environment. Was I right or was the Gunny right?
Both or neither. I don’t know…
Semper fi,
Jim
No man left behind and that is right!
Trying to build and maintain a sense of the special nature of warriors is
part of the Marine Corps mythology that makes it all work and those of us
who trained and studied came to appreciate the fact that the dead are not
nearly as dead as we might think. Not in our minds. Not in our present and
not in our future.
Semper fi,
Jim
Despite the corrections a magnificent piece of writing. “I followed…”. So true and also in the civilian world. There but for the Grace of God go I or else I would have been a fuzzy face 2LT FO. Got finished at Sill Jan 73 and they weren’t sending anyone over.
Thanks Buster, I much appreciate the comment and the thoughts you laid down here.
Glad you scraped out of that but got Sill…what a school!
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks, my gunner instructor was a Marine 1LT with 3 tours. Devastating steel on target.
Thanks for coming in to comment on this,
Semper fi,
Jim
I have to pick up where the book stoped on the first ten days. I have to find out what happened to the Captain and his First Lieutenant. I have lost about four days. You have a way with the story that keeps me in suspense can’t wait to see more. Semper Fi, Sir !
Thanks for your support, Walter.
You can start The Second Ten Days
HERE
Seems the Gunny feels his grip slipping some and isn’t liking it. Surprise on the part of the two main problem kids as well. Maybe some healing will happen all be it temporary. Sucks Tex didn’t make it though.
Yes, it sucked big time about Tex. He wasn’t even from Texas!
Thanks for the comment…
Semper fi,
Jim
Leave no man behind. Guess the Gunny thought it applied to Marines only as Tex was Army. Wonder how he would’ve felt if it was a Corpsman (Navy) that shared the same Marine mud & went down..
I see the typos I found have already been mentioned and noted, you’re right on top of it !!
Once again captivating reading, thanks James.
SEMPER Fi
Thanks for the comment and the editorial help, as well. Much appreciate hearing from you on here…
Semper fi,
Jim
“Your Marines?”…..damn straight…and you had to know that Tex had a sudden unexplainable surge of emotion, and a quiet, inner smile when you proclaimed him a Leader of Marines…..”hot damn” was more likely what he was thinking…lol As for the Gunnys attempt to belittle the army’s contribution(s)…..can’t tell you how often we were saved by those crazy 19 year old invincible warrant officers that flew where no sane Marine pilot was allowed to go…the army could fill the skies with choppers of every make and model…and if they lost a bird…they would run back and jump in another one and make another run at whatever was out there to play with….On the other hand…Our beloved Corps helicoptor squadrons had a set number of birds to fly…and older, more experienced, better trained pilots…who knew that if their ride got shot out of the sky, they would be walking for a few weeks until a replacement was scrounged up somewhere….or parts could be salvaged off of what ever could be begged, borrowed, or stolen….the Army pilots came out of the Darkness when we needed them most…more than once….I’ll be happy to buy them a cold beer any time…any where….
You are absolutely correct Larry in every word you just wrote. Thank you and the guys in the Army thank you too.
Some things really worked over there. Unlikely things, like the Skyraiders and the Army chopper jockeys…
Semper fi,
Jim
Having to worry about the enemy and your own men too. Who they think is going to call in fire if they take you out? Dumb!!!!
Getting supporting fires took a long time for the men of the company to truly get.
So many times units did not get supporting fires because they feared the fires more than
the enemy. With our stuff being so powerful it took only a few mils off to take out a whole company!
Or one bad air strike. Until you’ve seen modern weaponry actually used close and up front on the battlefield
its hard to have any idea of just how powerful it is…
Semper fi,
Jim
As usual a nail biter. Waiting to see what happens behind you and your team on the rope. I am being to feel that you are bringing the group as a joke into a unit and no individuals. Leadership! Sometimes it’s the hard to get the troops to believe.
Getting seasoned and fearful men to believe is a bit difficult, especially when you have
never done anything like that before. Just kind of feeling one’s way along in a darkness
filled with deadly vipers everywhere…
Semper fi,
Jim
Did the Gunny have any morphine on him when he was with Tex?
Not to my knowledge Tim. Thanks for the interesting question though….
Semper fi,
Jim
Don’t think I need to be the English teacher. I had missed two episodes prior to this one. Read them all. I don’t know how it will turn out but have a feeling that the real shit will hit the fan soon. The coldness of some of the men is understandable. As an ex EMT, I became cold to maintain my sanity. Then later I had to remove myself from that part of my life or completely lose my humanity too. Real tough.
Just keeps me wanting more, Jim
Thanks Jim, yes the emotional coldness comes without preamble or expectation and it’s a lousy thing to have happen.
My cat died on Monday, and he’d been right here for 17years, laying under this monitor when I wrote. I wanted some of that
coldness back and but it’s not there. I must persevere or at least endeavor to persevere….
Thanks for the understanding words.
Semper fi,
Jim
Sounds like you might be back inside the wire LT, only problem is that might not be a good thing. SF.
Interesting comment here Mike P. Yeah, you’ve got a point.
Thanks for the comment…
Semper fi,
Jim
pens will go out in the morning keep it coming If you get a bad pen send it back ill fix it
Man, they fucking came! Holy shit Mike. I’m taking these to Kansas to give to some of the guys.
They are terrific!! Thank you big time….
Semper fi,
Jim
Is it possible to buy these pens?
They sound like something I’d like to give the Marines in my family!
Send me your address and I’ll send you a couple for free…
Semper fi,
Jim
Christine Bishop
2318 300th Street
Mount Ayr, IA. 50854
Thought I had replied but it doesn’t appear to have gone through. Our internet leaves a lot to be desired.
Thank You!
On the way Chris. Thanks.
Semper fi,
Jim
Your story is great , I wont take time to pick the fly shit out of the pepper with trivial edits and typos . Keep up the good work !!
Thanks Bob, much appreciate the compliment…
Semper fi,
Jim
What typos? Been hooked since you started. Must have read right though them. Like watching a movie. Semper Fi.
Thanks for that comment Huey. Like watching a movie. Cool.
Semper fi,
Jim
Manomanoman. Was going to reply with a quote from you on this chapter, but I musta got lost, somewhere down the line. What power in your words, and the luck,skill, and ability to make it back. Insane ‘might’ start to describe it. Wow!Thank you.
Thanks for the big time compliments here Mike. I much appreciate them on this particular day.
I shall write on smiling at the help and encouragement.
Semper fi,
Jim
My scout team might do what I ordered it if differed with what the
(if it)
I’ve bee waiting all weekend for this installment. great job and thanks for your service.
Thanks for the notice, Tom…
I believe it is corrected
Every time I think I have this figured out the faster it changes direction. Anxious to see what Jurgens and S.D. are up to.
Thanks Glenn. I am back and on it…
Semper fi,
Jim
One (think)I could not let go(thing)
The one I was praying(for) was happening
What (is) something goes wrong. (If)
Waiting impatiently for what is coming next. So unexpected that First and Fourth platoons are working together.
Thank you Larry,
Semper fi,
Jim
Not a lot of action in this episode, but a nail biter just the same, as you tried to sort things out with the gunny. Throwing the dice, indeed!
A few corrections:
My scout team might do what I ordered it if (it) differed with what the Gunny wanted, but I couldn’t count on anyone else.
We’re still losing the same number as before Junior came aboard, if you haven’t notice(d) that either.
Zippo, Nguyen, Stephens and Fusner appeared, as if they’d been waiting just outside the small circle. The(y) formed a second circle around Jurgens, Sugar Daddy and I.
“Resupply fucked up,” Jurgens reported, pointedly ignoring the Gunny’s dramatic departure. “They didn’t know to give us all tracer(s) for the M-16s, but we got about thirty rounds of 106 for the Ontos.
Jurgens even sounded like he was disappointed that the tracer resupply wasn’t there, when only days before it was only tracers that had begun stopping First and Fourth Platoons form (from) shooting at each other whenever it was dark.
Thanks again Richard for the sharp eye.
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks James. This installment really developed the characters, and brought a lot together for me. I can see personalities of my friends, some co-workers and fellow soldiers blended into these Marines. The Gunny must have other tours in other shit holes in his back story. He was either E-7 or 8 at this time. Company Gunny is a damn tough job in any circumstance. Your position in the play called A-Shau is quite a role. I admire what you accomplished with what you had to deal with given the tools you had on hand. Sempre Fi
Thanks Tom, I doing the best I can in recalling one piece at a time.
People say the 30 days wasn’t enough time for all that shit to happen
but the A Shau was a world all of its own. Thanks for the supporting words written on here…
Semper fi,
Jim
I just want to buy the second volume, You write in a spell bounding manner that leaves us hoping it will not end soon and wanting more.
I have recommended your first volume to several friends and every last one has thanked me.
Sir, I thank you. Now get back to desk and complete this volume so I can order from Amazon.
Thanks Tom for the compliment. I hope to finish the second volume by August and then
get it out. Bigger project than I ever imagined. Thanks for the compliments and I shall
use them to continue my motivation this day…
Semper fi,
Jim
Good Stuff! Two comments. First, A1E Skyraiders were operated by the good old USAF, not Army. Second, in this segment Gunny is the bad guy, but having had an experience with a 2nd Lt of my own, I sympathize with Gunny!
Thanks for the comment Joe.
Sorry about your bad experience with a 2nd Lt.
Douglas A-1 Skyraider was operated by the United States Navy (USN), the United States Marine Corps (USMC), and the United States Air Force (USAF), and also saw service with the British Royal Navy, the French Air Force, the Air Force of the Republic of Vietnam (VNAF), and others.
Starting its history in the late 1940’s, it remained in U.S. service until the early 1970s.
Amazing that Gunny thought he was the only one thinking! His head was way up his ass if he was thinking. Since in one day and night, all of the company was trapped on his side of the river with a damn tank coming across it that was not friendly, how did he think the company would have been safe staying on his side of the river, with no ammo or chow? That was B.S. and Gunny knew it.
He knew that the Captain had sacrificed his life to do away with the tank. He also knew that the company had to get across the river to reach a suitable LZ for resupply and med evacuation. He knew the only one who was taking all of the chances, was a 2Lt and his team, while he was staying safe and sound with the rest of the company in the bush.
Yet Gunny was ready to skip all of the details, just to vent because he was not leading the action. When you went back to rescue Jurgens, the Gunny saw the chance in a change of loyalty with one of his leading squad leaders. Then the company witnessed you retrieving Barns body as well as trying to retrieve Tex. Gunny never lifted a finger to do any of the risky work involved. He was not stupid and he saw the 2Lt becoming a respected leader and an officer and so did the rest of the company!
Gunny released control of his squad leaders, when he walked away from the discussion about retrieving the dead marines that night.
Jurgens had to have accepted your leadership, after you saved his life from the river and did not take disciplinary action on him, after he failed to carry out your orders on the bridge. Sugar Daddy also saw that your were willing to go back and retrieve the remains of a black marine and that inspired admiration as well with him. You were treating both the white and black marines who died, with respect and that registered with both squad leaders.
One would be very surprised to read that those two squad leaders would turn their weapons on one another, while you were in the process of retrieving members of their squads.
Interesting read J, as it always is. I can’t comment on most of it because I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
But I much enjoy reading your accurate and deeply thought out analysis.
Semper fi,
Jim
Friend of mine flew A-1’s off a carrier in the Gulf of Tonkin. He had many ground support missions. Went on to fly overseas for PanAm before retiring. He’s 81 now. There is a fair chance he waggled his wings over the A-Shau. I sat with him for many an inning of baseball in the stands. He is one “to swim the river with”.
Those were some great pilots and I know they had to be great guys too. Nobody ever took
to that kind of flying like them…Maybe the battle of britain or one of those. Man oh man…
Thanks for the comment…
Semper fi,
Jim
Your description or definition of the word ….fear…. is on point, and unique in my experience. The words seem to help me visualize the ooze of something with mass trying to take control of mind and action. Something that hasn’t happened yet, getting rid of the sadness the read has brought me. I suspect it will never leave but the deeper valleys will eventually be filled in. Your plan, is distinctly yours, and in the eyes of the Gunny unnecessary and damn crazy. He may be correct but time will tell. Me, since you’ve got me into your scout team, and rhetorically, would be giving a reluctant, Aye, Aye Sir. Be careful out there you have one helluva story to finish. Poppa Joe
Thanks Poppa for the in depth opinion and analysis. I am on the rest of the story…
Semper fi,
Jim
You allways leave me hanging on a cliff.Real good writing.Just waiting for your next part.WOW.
Thanks Tim, I am working away at it and hope to meet expectations on time and the substance of the story.
Semper fi,
Jim
Haven’t read much in a while. Waiting on the book. Read the other one, and really enjoyed it.
thanks Larry. I am working away again.
Appreciate the comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
“What is something goes wrong behind us?” Stephens asked. The other men stared at me with him.
What “if”.
Just a simple typo. Very riveting, yet somehow maybe it’s all starting to come together…despite the Gunny.
Thank you
Thanks Bob,
Think we corrected
Semper Fi,
Jim
River took a lot of good men. Water is so fast can get you and you are gone before anything can be done
That fucking river. It claimed so many when the monsoons showed up.
The speed and power of it was so damned subtle…
Thanks for picking up on that, unless you were there and then you know…
Semper fi,
Jim
My brother is on the Wall as Freddie Kimp MIA . Went down in the River
I am so sorry fred. That damned river claimed so many.
Semper fi,
Jim
You keep me hanging on! One typo, “What is something goes wrong behind us?”
Thanks Tony,
Noted and corrected.
Appreciate the help.
Semper fi,
Jim
“What is something goes wrong behind us?” Stephens asked. The other men stared at me with him
^if
Somehow I’m missing fragments of the timeline.
Thank you for your service.
Four of my Uncles went to Vietnam, their stories and experiences are undocumented.
Thank for the noticed and corrected, Vincent.
Have you read the previous chapters?
Well…Jurgens and Sugar Daddy co-operating is a new one…but miracles do happen. I guess we will have to wait to see how it plays out. I hope you recover Tex…he deserves it…for what he did…another excellent segment…and as always, you do tell the story well, and I know that what is always said but it doesn’t diminish anything by saying so over and over…I will anxiously await to see how the next one plays out…
Thanks Mark, much appreciate you writing what you wrote on here for all to see.
I am on it and writing away again.
Semper fi,
Jim
Was hearing about the race rites,,, but we were a tight company…but did notice that there were less and less black brothers in our company towards the end of my tour in July of 70… all that were with us were to notch combat Marines. = brothers
Yes, the Zippo’s were there and sometimes in numbers. A lot of bad eggs had been shipped to the company
however, of many races…
Semper fi,
Jim
small typo:“What is something goes wrong behind us?” Stephens asked. The other men stared at me with him. (need to change is to if)
Thanks Albert,
so noted and corrected.
Semper fi,
Jim
Geez Jim! I have to agree with Gunny here. Although it’s encouraging to see 1st and 4th working together with you, why not wait till first light? Anxious to see how it plays out! Great writing as usual! Semper Fi my friend!
Yes, Jack, the Gunny had a point. Different perspective today though…
Semper fi,
Jim
Minor correction, when Gunny is tamping his pipe, you typed that it had had to be “temped” many times before. Should be “tamped”. Another great chapter; We’ll be waiting on the next one.
What a fantastic readership!
Thanks Kathi for the sharp eye.
Noted and corrected.
Semper fi’
J\im
LT, the episodes you put to paper have more twists and turns than a giant pot full of cooked spaghetti. It is almost overwhelming what all “Junior” had to deal with on his plate. God Bless.
Thanks Walt, means a lot, what you have to say…and thank you!
Semper fi,
Jim
Another outstanding read Sir!
Thanks Ronnie, I am hard at it again.
Semper fi,
Jim
Another roll of the dice. I like the blender analogy.
Thanks for that comment. Not too many on here comment on particular parts of the written story.
Pleasure. Thank you!
Semper fi,
Jim
If you could bottle that tension… The devil and the deep blue sea, a rock and a hard place, Jurgens and Sugar Daddy. All the same bad spot. I’m banging my head against the wall trying to figure the Gunny out. Maybe he’s getting tired of breathing jungle air, sick to death of the make believe discipline or finally just snapped and went nuts. Waiting patiently (hah) for the next post. Thanks, Jim, for all of it.
As usual Walt, you are straight to the point and spot on.
I am working away to get back in the groove. My cat died and that, along with the
writing of the story sort of threw me…
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim, at this point, all that follow this story are family. Some know what you’re feeling, some hurt when you hurt. The feelings you’re stirring up in your mind are tough enough without having Harvey taken away the way he was. You stay strong and do what you have to. We’ll all wait while you adjust. That’s what family is for.
Thank you Walt, as usual. I’m tired of writing that phrase.
So Harvey was so God blessed special, as were some of my men.
How does it all play out through the years and how do those of us who ended up carrying
that shit not just splay out and lay down to this fucking depression?
I can’t take drugs or drink or evade in any way and I so identify with the guys
who’ve made it this far but have this unattached but deeply attached thing going on
with the past and present all mixed up in something like that blender I described….
Semper fi,
I’ll be okay,
Jim
Jim, lost a very special dog seven years ago and still have not gotten over his loss. He was a mentally handicapped DDA, if there is something like that in the animal world, but my wife and I loved him like a disabled child.
Believe it or not, he was hit by a car and had a broken neck so there was no way for me to save him. I spent about five minutes with him before he passed, telling him it was ok and that he could go home now. I was talking about his spiritual home, but being the DDA that he was, the only home he knew was where he had spent his whole life.
This happened around 7 P.M. and it was January, so I just covered his body with a tarp until the following day when I could try to bury him.
That night at 11 P.M., I went into my bedroom to prepare for the night and low and behold there he was waiting for me. I saw him as clearly as I have ever seen anything in my life and was stunned. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I knew it was only his ghost and was afraid to touch him. I told him he was a good boy and that he could go now and he immediately disappeared.
In my mind, I knew that when he departed this plane of life and entered into the next, he refused to quit trying to get home as I had told him to do. I could see him running hard in the other life, trying with all his might to obey my last command. Then God looking down upon his loyal efforts, allowed him to reenter our plane long enough for me to see him being obedient to my last command.
Those ghosts that visit you during the night, are probably looking for the same type of release and a kind word will most likely allow them to rest now. Tell them that the war is over and our nation has finally realized how heroic their sacrifice was. Try it and see if it works as it is true.
The mental devastation of the loss of such a not clearly conscious
and understood braiding of the being is not without parallel in my life,
although much less easy to accommodate since the pair-bonding was so mutual and automatic.
He simply found me to be ‘the one’ instantly upon meeting me, and I him.
That was it. Affinity twin.
Like with your dog. Reaching across the span of years was also automatic with his passing.
I dreamed only last night that they finally made a movie about my Vietnam
experience but when I went to see it found that I was portrayed as a complete scoundrel and coward.
Those dark things come from a place that has nothing to do with Harvey but everything to do with the trauma of his passing.
I am truly sorry about your special dog. I have no knowledge of another world or plane of existence beyond the one we live in.
I do know that the universe is not organized the way we have come to believe it is, however.
Maybe there’s hope in that and maybe not. I don’t know.
Thanks, as usual, for the depth of your writing, thinking and caring.
Semper fi,
Jim
Am compelled to respond to that last comment. You do know about the Universe and how it was created as you learned about it through your Catholic faith.
You also know there is life beyond the mortal grave, not only for yourself but your beloved pet. It is all explained in God’s book, the Holy Bible. God speaks about the lion who will lay down beside the babe, without fear or trouble for either, so we know there is a place in heaven for animals.
You also know about the planes, i.e., purgatory if you are a Catholic and the levels of Heaven that were described by both Steven and Peter. It is all there in the Bible Jim and all you have to do is to believe.
Your fear of how you would be portrayed in the movie of your war experiences, are predicated on what you perceive to be failures on your part. Your writing about those activities is to justify what you did, to relieve unjustified guilt, for trying to survive in a war. No man should feel guilty for trying to survive!
Thanks for you the analysis J. Not sure how much I agree with or even what I don’t!
Thanks for the thought and the laying it down on here though.
Semper fi,
Jim
No man left behind! Seems like things are looking up in the company. I hope that’s true. This segment brought back a time and place that I was in, recovering the bodies of part of a LRP team, fighting our way in to find them and out the next day. We had air support that keep the NVAs heads down for the most part, burned them up, the ones that were not under cover.
Keep your head down Jim.
Yes, it was a very particular place down in that valley. Those of us who somehow came to be there.
Thanks for your comment and writing it on here…
Semper fi,
Jim
YEAH!
I finally get my next episode to feed my addiction!
Thanks, Jim!
Thanks Walter for the motivation. I will be back on it in the next couple of days. Thanks for your
writing on here to encourage me…
Semper fi,
Jim
it don’t mean nothing, don’t mean nothing keep on Lt. you r the brave one
Thanks bryson. Took me a while to catch on to that expression over there but used it a lot when I came home.
Semper fi,
Jim
Keep it coming .
My cat of 17 years died and I’ve been pretty bereft over losing him.
Thanks for the attaboy. I’ll be back toot sweet…
Semper fi,
Jim
My condolences James.
Thanks Tom. Tough one, since I sort of entwined Harvey into my part of working through the story.
I don’t know why but there it is.
Semper fi,
Jim
Like playing “pickle in the Middle”, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Hope Tex gets recovered.
One small opps found, It was a good come back ….etc, but there was one thing (think) I could not let go.
Thanks Jerome….
Correction made and appreciate your sharp eye.
Semper fi, Jim