I lay in my hooch, dug into the side of the hill through the effort of using Fusner’s entrenching tool. The hill was too slanted to lay against without a step being carved into its side. Fusner was just down from me, while Stevens and Zippo were over to my right. How the scouts had managed to get away from being under the direct eyeballs of the new officers I had no idea, and I wasn’t going to ask. I felt a depth of rotten care toward the new officers. Rotten because I knew I would trade their survival for my own in a heartbeat.
I knew that was not right. Not just very few months before I’d gone to Basic School with men just like them. I’d liked them better back then. A lot better than they’d liked me. I smirked at the thought. At least I didn’t have that problem now. But I knew there was going to be trouble from them, and more trouble from Jurgens and Sugar Daddy. Men like them did not take coming to anyone like a Mafia Godfather, with their hats almost literally in their hands. There would be a price, and it would be one I could not want or be able to afford. I realized, shifting around on my poncho uncomfortably, that I didn’t want to kill them. But I did want to kill them. Not kill them exactly. Just make them gone away to somewhere else. I didn’t care where.
The subsequent reads are just as captivating as the first read. Few typos to look at. Sorry about adding to your load.
“I’m a First Lieutenant, Keating replied, instantly. “You don’t call me sir.” =Needs a trailing double quote after Lieutenant,
Underground was protection from so much, including the RPGs the enemy would have any stray rounds from either artillery battery. =Probably needs an (and) between “would have” and “any stray”.
The three approached, with Pilson just behind the C.O., and felt nearly as much trepidation as I had … =and (I) felt
It was useless trying to explain that at the end of the An Hoa battery’s maximum range the rounds could land anywhere within a thousand-meter diameter circle, or worse, of where they were targeted. =The “or worse” seems out of place in the sentence. Perhaps “… within a thousand meter or more diameter circle of where they were targeted.” “or worse ” has a certain connotation to it though. Perhaps “… thousand meter or worse …”
Appreciate your support as always, David
Semper fi,
jim
Jim, typo, Dave.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, wondering if the captain would see () as an answer as dumb as what he’d said() => (it) and (.)
Thanks for the help Dave!
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks again Dave.
Corrected
Semper fi
Jim
Typo
“Yes, sir,” I replied, wondering if the captain would (it see) as an answer as dumb as what he’d said. => (see it)
Corrected,
Thanks
Half the battle ..from withhin the unit and the other against …the vc and NVA…was commonplace …throughout I Corps and the war…changes in CO’s other officers from stateside ,sometimes just listening to a Salty Gunny and adjusting to battlefield as it exists could make a difference ..the NVA were no dummies and proved to be formidable ..marine corps firepower prevailed…semper fi
You have it by the stacking swivel Tony. Exactly. The most cogent part of the story deals with
just shocked and out of place it was to discover that everyone was not pulling together to the point
of terminal behavior inside the unit. That racial extraction mattered and that was a total shock.
Fighting for our lives, quite literally, and it mattered what color any of us were? Oh, please!
Anyway, thanks for the support your comment lends.
Semper fi,
Jim
Amazed how you can distill hours of boredom into constant moments of panic. I was medivaced out of op Mead River, A 1/7. . .your writing consumes my thoughts.
Semper Fi
There were many ‘tours’ in Vietnam and a ton of them probably involved huge amounts of sitting around
and boredom. That was not the case where and when I served. I keep repeating that. This is my story and that
is subjective to my opinion so many years later and also alone among many others. Thank you for allowing me
to reach your thoughts. It was my intent, since you appear to be one of us.
Thanks for the comment and the reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
It’s interisting Gunnys giving these guys advice on avoiding immersion foot. Take em off, dry em our, relax. Lol, there’s motive there. How does a Capt get a company and who’s obviously boot? My advice to my son before deploying, keep your rifle clean, and sleep with your boots on, keep your mouth shut and watch your Sr NCOs. You won’t have time to find shit or put your boots on when your getting hit.
Yes, the Gunny was one clear SOB, with me and everyone around him. Not your tough-talking
demanding Gunny type. More Like Jim Rockford in the Rockford files. Slippery and clever
and I think with a good heart. At least toward me when I got used to him. And his games
that were more than games. Thanks for the comment and the support.
Semper fi,
Jim
Reading your account makes me realize, at last, why my dad never wanted to talk about his combat experiences in WWII. He was a Marine, too – 3rd Marine Raider Battalion, Co. K. I wanted to write a book about his experiences but he passed away this past December without giving me the first person account of his battles that I thought I needed. I’m going to write the book anyway. But I’m going to stay as far away as possible for glorifying the war, even though I’m proud of his service in it. Anyway, thanks for writing so honestly. It is helping me understand my dad’s experience.
So many combat guys have no way to get any of it out because they don’t trust that you will believe them or forgive
them. There’s a lot of shame in real combat and almost nothing you do makes your feel like you thought you would.
And then there are everyone’s views of what you might have done and perspectives are all different.
Thanks for saying such personal things. I’m sorry he never broke open but he was worried and obviously loved
you to much to risk it.
Semper fi,
Jim
Another great read James obviously there was some politics going on with the officer’s around you that were inexperienced. I guess until they went through a fire fight they didn’t realize that all that posturing and politics really didn’t apply in the field, and that they needed to be on the same page for their very survival. The other thing that was in this read was about how the NVA alway’s pretty much knew where we were. At one point we were on top of one of those mountain’s and hadn’t made any contact for a while,so in an effort to try to raise our morale during re-supply of c’s and water hot chow was murmitted out to us for the first time ever and chaplins also came out to hold some brief services.I distinctly remember going up to one of them after the service and saying to him their’s something wrong with this war kinda offering it to him as a question,but he had no answer. They packed it in got on the chopper’s and flew off. We with full loaded rucksacks helping each other up as it was to hard to get up on your own with an 85 to 90 pound load and full belly’s started to hump down the trail and were immediately ambushed I don’t remember how many killed or wounded.
It seems they were watching the whole show and then getting ready to spring the ambush.I saw one of the platoon sgt’s he was new to the field, and was so scared he aimed his ar 15 at his foot and shot himself in the foot most likely in an effort to get extracted out of the field on a medevac. I couldn’t believe he did that to himself he was screaming in pain. I think he was sorry he made that decision.Of most of us did not wear underwear under our jungle fatigue’s on the lite side I was so scared I pooped the whole load of hot chow down my pant leg’s.I also remember not getting resupplied at times because of a low ceiling.
I remember we found a piece of fruit on a bush that looked like a grapefruit we boiled not knowing if it was poisonous or not. The squad also sat in a circle and opened up a few of those little tins of peanut butter and jelly, and passed them around each member of the squad taking a finger full and passing it to the next soldier we were a tribe for sure.Thank Sir for telling of your experiences and letting us add ours.These are thing’s from a now thank’s to Jesus healed perspective I have wanted to tell,but many still don’t want to hear it.
Oh, I want to hear. And many people reading what you wrote want to hear and read too. We have just been a really silent
group because that is what PTSD does. Don’t notice me, just let me slip into the woods and peer out, unseen…because that is
what most survivors were able to successfully do. It was about finding little places of relative safety until the sun came
up the next day. You fought when you absolutely had to and for no damned other reason. If you ran out into the night to save a
buddy it was because you needed what that buddy could provide to benefit your own survival, not because he was your pal. Another ‘pal’ would
be on the next chopper. The Gunny and I did not like one another. We used one another quite to our own advantage.
Thanks for that whole revelation. I loved the fruit shit! We did that down in the valley! It turned out to be something called breadfruit and was inedible. Should have been called shit-fruit!
Semper fi, brother,
Jim
Where is the next chapter?
You will be reading, if you read it, the next segment soon. It will be titled The Tenth Night Second Part.
That night is not over, as so many were not over when they damned will ought to have been over back then.
And then there’s the coming dawn. The warmth of the sun because of the life it seemed to always offer.
I prowl the night, like many of you, with sensors, cameras, and even a full blown Starlight Scope from the day
(found on Ebay). I don’t study the night or go on patrol. I just wait to see what might come next. I know there’s
nobody out there. I know it. Thanks for the short comment to get this long answer.
Semper fi,
Jim
Have you already posted the 10th night? I’ve been holding my breath since you went into the night defensive positions with a plan to inflict some damage on the NVA. And you are a helluva writer to keep so many of us hooked! Thanks!
Ed, 10th Night is up.
Follow this Link
Tenth Night, 30 Days Has September
Something is up with your web page. The tenth day chapters are not in chronological order and the link for the Tenth Night does not show up at all. I use the latest version of Firefox but I also tried Edge with similar results. I’ve also tried using F5 to force reload the page with no luck. Not complaining by any means, I just know that web pages don’t always behave the same for the owner as they do for the rest of the internet.
Thanks for taking the time to share your experience and be sure to post a link when the ebook is available.
Please call my associate Chuck,
what powerful writing you have shared with us. I am amazed/disturbed by the similarities of our experiences. Based on all of your hints/comments I know things are going to get uglier still. I have found the comments to be so moving. Today my wife asked me what I was doing and I replied I am crying. She said did he release another chapter? I responded in the affirmative and she let it go. What a blessing she is. After awhile I went out and she asked about the particulars and I said that your writings which are painful in their own way but it is the comments of the men who are still hurting 50 years later. I guess the monster that is PTSD will never leave us alone. Thank you, brother
You make the most of PTSD if you get to live long enough and can wrestle that bastard
to its knees. So you don’t sleep much? Find something to do that does not keep everyone
else up or have everyone worry about you while you are up prowling. Stay out of bars.
Watch out and stay away from the macho types. Pull off the road and go get gas or coffee
from road rage people. They don’t know you’ll kill them, thereby killing yourself in a different way.
Pack your guns away or get rid of them. You don’t need them anyway if you are one of us. You are absolutely
lethal all by your lonesome with a Mont Blanc pen and a napkin! I am sorry and happy to reach you so deeply.
My intentions are good but the delivery is a thing all of its own. I just write on into my nights.
Semper fi,
Jim
LT. great read brings back alot of memories I was with Alpha 1/4/3 in 66/67 We were the guys that made the nomans strip from Gio Linh to Con Thien, As per our Lts all of Alpha Co were xenlisted, except one who was a know it all who got shot in the butt and never came back to us. Our Co. was WIA 5 times, Our Gunny was awarded the Silver Star 2 times. Love your stories keep them comeing. Semper Fi.
Thank you for the compliment P.C.
It’s quite possible that ex-enlisted make the best officers of all.
I am not sure that any studies track them, but then how would one go about getting valid combat data?
When S.L.A. Marshall studied combat in Korea, to discover and write about most troops of the time
not shooting back at the enemy for fear that if they did they would be shot in turn,
was powerful in anthropology but sure as hell doomed him socially and eventually academically.
The truth about combat is not something non-combat males want out here.
At all. Thanks for writing in and also for the compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
2022 Comments! And you answer every (expletive deleted) one of them! I’m like a couple of your other “regular” commentors in opting (painfully) not to add to your workload by replying to every segment. The comments would, indeed, make a book, of a type not seen before but of great value.
“I let my breath out slowly, as it came to me. The officers were coming down to stay where I was.” My “key phrase” always jumps out like a bad haircut at the Marine Corps Birthday Ball. You say so much without saying anything.
You don’t have to reply to this, Strauss! I know you’re reading it.
SF,
PFJ
Just finished the Tenth Night, maybe the toughest one to write so far, John. And, of course, I then
saw your usual brilliant communication. Admittedly, I don’t notice these key phrases you always pick up on
but the fact that you do and excerpt them in quotes always makes me smile. As it does now. In some ways, the comment replies
are relaxing. I can just be me in the here and now. Maybe that means something to those who comment and get replies or not. I don’t really
know. Most don’t comment more than once. Which is okay too. The real audience in general I am after is not the kind that finds it deft or easy
to express things in writing or even talking about the Nam. There are, however, erudite people in this collection of readers, both vets and non-vets
who I value most highly because it connects me real time, back and forth, with the story. Then to now and back. I just left the jungle and here I
am talking to you instead of the Gunny. Cool. That probably sounds a little schizoid, but what the hell, if I was truly sane I would not be writing
this at all!
Your friend,
Semper fi,
Jim
Thank you for writing. I have been reading non fiction Vietnam war books since the 6th grade. I had a Language Arts teacher who was in the Cav. My father in law was Rt California CCC DAK TO, KONTUM. He is a Montagnard Sedang tribe. I visited Vietnam with him in 1993. I was given a Visa and lived in the Central Highlands for 1 month. Thank you for your service in the Marines. I look forward to reading more. I met my wife in Jr High and
Hey, Todd, I never got the rest of your comment. I have a hard-bitten deep
respect for the Montagnard people, as you might guess from the manuscript.
My contact there was nothing short of tribally revealing with deep life
long significance for my conduct since. Thank you for your Dad!
Thank you for reading and commenting here too.
Semper fi,
Jim
James, I remember the young FNGs and LTs-gung ho!! Sometimes I thought the bugs and snakes were worse than the NVA. Although the NVA weren’t dumb. I enjoy your descriptions of the coming action. It reminds me of the things that went through my mind when on the perimeter, listening to the R122s and R106s walk. I also think about the Montagnards I was with when I was near Pleiku. Anyway, my PTSDgets to me once in a while. Can’t explain it. I just start crying uncontrollably. My wife says what’s wrong. I just walk away…
Maybe your wife is a great candidate to read the book, Dick!
She might come to understand that only a few of us get to the point were we can or are
willing to go public with what happened there.
It was so very very personal and yet is not treated that way by the public or even the VA.
I had a VA doctor, years ago, tell me that I had to prove to him that I had PTSD.
I got arrested, of course, and he didn’t agree.
Fortunately, his boss said that I was “prima facia” and never would have to prove it again!
Thanks for the very personal note and glad you are here and one of us…
Semper fi,
Jim
You know LT, what you are writing is therapeutic for the many vets that went down range. It is even therapeutic for those of us that by the fickled hand of fate were not in country. It has helped as a Flt doc to understand where some of you guys are in your battles with PTSD.
Intense stuff sir. The military humor is not lost either. Brotherhood is the thread that binds us all that took the oath and answered the call.
Keep it coming. Let us know when the Kindle or printed version is available. We all owe you that ( the purchase of your book for the privilege of sharing our thoughts with you as you spine this yarn.)
As the the military goes the truth is usually bigger than fiction!
I’ve recommended your writings to some fellow vets that were in country. One of them being a Marine Rotorhead.
Ck 6
Doc
Thanks for the recommendation. Of course, it is the guys who were really in the shit that I am writing toward.
I know the rest of the society will remain incurred by the mythical stories that television, movies and even most literature
submerge them with. I am a small 2nd Lieutenant voice in a night where I am not to be referred to as sir. I can handle that.
Like I said, if I get a small fishing boat somewhere out of this then I will be most tickled. In fact, I might just end up with
a few old warriors who might teach me what to do with the rod, reel and line!
Thanks for the very bright and well-thought out comment. I read and then re-read three times to
reach its full timber and depth.
Thank you for that, and for the reading and liking the story…
Semper fi,
Jim
The thing I find most disturbing about movies is that many, maybe even most, people don’t realize they are created to entertain and turn a profit.
They often tell one of a few old stories set on an exciting new backdrop. A movie must have a certain authenticity if it is to successfully achieve it’s goals. For example, “Top Gun” captured the pilot’s absolute self confidence and the constant peril that accompanies military aviation. Was the rest of it an accurate depiction? I have no idea but I suspect not. There have been a few comments here, on the movie “Apocalypse Now”, saying it was a poor depiction of Vietnam. However, “Apocalypse Now” was Joseph Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness”. It says so right on the opening credits. The movie did a pretty good job of telling the “Heart of Darkness” story set against the backdrop of Vietnam. There was one “authenticity” point I wondered about but didn’t want to offend anyone by asking. This was Captain Willard’s “episode” (for lack of a better word) in the opening scene. Thanks for clearing this up, in your interview with Chuck Bartok.
There were more elements in Apocalypse than I mentioned, of course.
The darkness was the movie makers way of portraying fear.
The bizarre nature of actions done as a result of terror-based decisions.
The protagonist’s obvious self-loathing…
The movies are there to entertain, not reveal or explain history.
Sometimes it’s hard to graphically show a scene and get
the moment, the emotion and the meaning…and not totally alienate the viewer.
Writing is an easier genre to allow for lesser or
greater impact, depending upon the reader.
In my mind’s eye I still see Barnes body, blasted nearly in half by that single round.
I wrote about it and you, as a reader, can imagine it.
But, for me, Barnes stopped in time, seemingly lifted from his feet, the
red funnel showering out from his chest…forever. Do you want that image?
A really great movie-maker might be able to create and
give you that image…
but do you need it, or want it, or even want to make a decision about whether you want it or not?
I don’t know.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment and the conjecture.
Semper fi,
Jim
I’ve been captivated by your installments. I eagerly await the next one. I’m not your typical reader here as I was a draft baby constantly watching the lottery. I guess the suspense got the best of me and I went to the Marine Corp to enlist instead of awaiting a letter of induction. The Corporal there was eager to sign my butt up! While thinking it over, I saw something that changed me and my sister forever. The horrors of the war made it’s self present front and center. My younger sister and I were sitting in a car in a store parking lot. A man walked between our car and the one parked beside it. He turned and looked at us with a glance and my sister went crazy screaming. The man was a severely wounded/disfigured vet. His face was pretty much caved in on one side missing his eye and cheek bone. I could see the anguish on this young mans face as my sister kept screaming. Even with my shocked state I knew what this man was. I’ve since thought about him often and wondered how he coped. My soul ached that day (and still does) because he could not help his condition and my young sister did not know now to deal with it either. I know this only increased his trauma in life. I never returned to the recruitment office and I just sat and awaited my number if it came. It never came. I did have friends who served the Corp in Nam. A couple never came home, Nam is still claiming some. My lifelong best friend passed Jan 16,2015 Agent Orange related. Corp L.G. Kincaid. Thank you for your writings. It helps me understand more of what my friends experienced and not so much as what I missed. Looking forward to more.
Glad you missed the show to be able to write that rather poignant and revealing comment on here.
Much enjoy reading such stories because these are the stories that are almost never told anywhere.
Also, I want to thank you for using the word ‘captivating,’ as I an unaccustomed to that compliment.
I am sorry about the rather dreadful experience you had, not only with that vet’s appearance
(I can only shudderingly imagine what the vet himself was going through!) but with losing some
people you really cared about. That war ‘trimmed’ so much from the quality youth of the time
and created so much needless controversy.
Thanks again and,
Semper fi,
Jim
Our Stg.s were old guys and they were a lot of help to our new Lt. I had 4 new Lt. in my time in nam. The first one was the best. I don’t like being on the first chopper all the time with him .l was the M60 gunner and we were first into LZ and last out when it was all over .
Non-coms were the blood of life in the Nam and recognizing that the Gunny
was so capable and so great saved my life more than any other single thing
while I was there. Thanks for the reminder.
And the comment. And the reading in the first place.
Semper fi,
Jim
Can’t wait for the next segment.The airing out of the feet brought back some memories.Lot of Marines in my co. took boots of when we set up.But not this kid . Our Gunny said that I would get jungle rot.I heard of it from training but kept my boots on .I got rot so bad that when on R&R in Tokyo I had to pry the sheets off both feet. Got back and an officer confronted me cause boots were unlaced.I showed him and he said get your ass to sick bay and get them fixed.I swear the corpsman used a kitchen scratcher on them . I scronged me up a few pair of dry after that. Semper Fi
The jungle boots brought into existence in around 1968 helped
resolve some of the foot issues so prevalent with the use of solid
leather in combat boots. Today, there are no all leather combat boots
except for some show units, at least not in America armed forces.
The canvas sides did wonders for helping.
Thanks for the detail and the support.
Semper fi,
Jim
This is so unique, we read just half a step behind what you write. There’s comments and interaction and then the awaiting of another chapter. I’m really enjoying this experience, if this is doable I’d far prefer this to settling in and reading from cover to cover. The personal anecdotes are about like sitting there in WI with you reading then asking questions and making comments. But it’s not intrusive because you can turn it off when you choose. I could read books like this in the future given the nature of things and its non fiction. Unlike any Nam book ive ever read, I’m still bummed that Company grade officers could care less whether I’m bagged, it’s shocking they could give two shits. What they preached to us is bullshit, they were concerned about their careers first and foremost.