I was awakened by the pain and by the noises being emitted from within my room. I stared over at the figures of Pus, Kathy and Barbara, gathered together as they worked to set up an additional bed and get all the connections correct. Barbara was the first to notice that I was awake.
“How was your shower?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before going on, “and, you’re getting a new roommate. I know it must be hard to be in a room alone, after the kind of relationship you established with the other two lieutenants you were with.”
Dear Uncle Jim,
I know I’m not worthy, but I did have some experience writing for a local magazine for ten years here in Orlando and had to do much self-editing. Your “product” is so well written it is my desire to help you deliver a read to your following that is as smooth, crisp and clean of a reading experience as possible. I reverently and respectfully submit the following edit notes:
which meant I’d be looking (over) him often. Looking (over him to see the clock or looking over at him or just looking at him every time he looked at the clock? Should (over be either; over at or just at)?
“When’s the next pain shot?” he asked but didn’t seem to direct the question at anyone (directly). Having direct and directly in the same sentence feels clunky, may I suggest (in particularly.)?
(I’ve) equivalent to your service’s designation of a captain.” Should this be (I’m) or (I’ve the equivalent of)
Pus left, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before he returned with Barbara or (she came) alone. Should this be (she’d come)?
It was north of most of the south, it was east from the ocean but I couldn’t picture just how it fit in with (how’d I’d) come to be there or even how
An Hoa or Da Nang fit in. Should this be either (how I’d come or how’d I come). The former feels smoother mentally since it is (how I had come vs. how did I come)
I did, but I also knew I wasn’t normal by any stretch of any definition (I could think of.). Proper English would have this as (of which I could think.) so as not to end the sentence in a preposition. That being said if you are just conveying how Junior would speak normally then the current form is acceptable.
That was a good sign, (I knew but) at the moment couldn’t reflect on that thought. Do you think this sentence could benefit from a comma after (I knew, but)
Kathy appeared in less than two minutes, as I looked at my big (close) on the wall, Rory gone, gone like so many in the period of my life I was living. Should (close be clock)? <—this one was previously mentioned in another comment.
“Neither she nor her husband can change or (effect) Marine orders Should (effect be affect)?
Managed chaos, the same kind of nightmare logic that (ruled) life and death at the bottom of the A Shau Valley (survive) insidiously throughout the war arena. Should (survive be survived)? Rules with survive or ruled with survived to keep the tense the same throughout the sentence.
(Fusner) and so many of the rest, Should this be (Fusner or his pseudonym Fessman)?
I can’t emphasize this enough, but very, very respectfully submitted, Sir!
V/r. Dennis M. Pustinger
Thank you for your keen Observation, Dennis.
I believe I have corrected it as suggested.
Semper fi,
Jim
Two of my sons served as Marines in Iraq. One served 2 tours. He left after his second tour with 6 years under his belt. “His” men left shortly after that for Afganistan. They were charged with clearing a valley. It was deemed impossible by most. But as usual they did it but lost 10 men in the process. To this day he carries the weight of his decision to leave. That somehow those 10 might have been saved had he gone back. Doesn’t matter that he got his men safely through 2 tours of combat or that he was blown up by a roadside bomb on his last tour, spent 2 weeks in a small field hospital and went back to his unit. None of that matters only that he somehow failed “his” men.
Thanks for sharing this.
Your son is carrying a real burden.
Semper fi,
Jim
Outstanding writing would like to be able to get all of your books what I have read has been moving. Sometimes I wonder how my life might have been different if I had been in viet nam. Just missed going by months. Always wonder what my reaction would have been if I had been under fire. Sorry just felt that I needed to write this. Thanks to all who served
Thank you, James.
My books are available autographed, and personalized direct here on the website.
Order Books Here
Semper fi, Jim
“It was north of most of the south, it was east from the ocean”
…. shouldn’t it be “it was west from the ocean” ? ….
YEs, exactly. Thanks for the help Dave…
Semper fi,
Jim
Brought back a bunch of old memories. The navy hospitals weren’t bad it was just getting used to being back in the world.my family told me i was not the same person that left when I came home.
I ache for more, Jim. I’m on to Duke now! Batman
The Cowardly Lion is more poignant but Duke was a lot more fun to write…thanks for liking the work,
as usual Batman…
Semper fi,
Jim
Thouroughly enjoyed the Duke. Just wish there was more conclusion for the other chacters as well. Maybe someday a sequel a sgort conclusion to tie things up. I look back over my life and it’s different chapters and in each there are those that have disappeared into the mists of time forever. You get connected, you enjoy the company for a time, and then gone forever.
The Duke is Book One. I am writing Book II right now and resolution of many of the characters is a part of that.
Thanks for identifying so strongly.
Semper fi,
Jim
I can directly relate to the lasting pain of losing friends , and comrades , who were under our personal charge . I can also attest to the fact , we are not the same when we return , nor will we every be. Divorce’s , children who take their own life , and many other things that happen, that we blame ourselves for . I thank you for sharing your story with us , as it makes us understand things , even many years later ! HooRaa Sir .
I’ll say it again — I have never seen better writing about war and pain than this…
Thank you again, Jim
Semper fi,
Jim
James,
I believe the A Shau would be situated West of the ocean in your latest narrative. Keep on writing and thanks,
Ed
Corrected. Thanks, Edwatrd
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim, once again, your writing touches me deeply, and also answers some questions I’ve harbored for 55 years now.
Like many of we Vietnam Veterans, I have given up on trying to remain in close harmony with relationships. Couple marriages, several kids, grandkids, great-grandkids. Best for all that I live alone with my Service Dog and a few cats.
And I think that there is a fear inside that, once again, people close to me will “disappear”, and therefore I disrupt that by acting first, thus not allowing “them” to disappear. Weird, but I hope that you get my drift.
Only one comment/correction: Mostly, Vietnam is WEST of the ocean. But you can go east enough to reach the Philippines, and eventually, Central America.
Words cannot describe how much I enjoy your writing – all from the heart. Thank you. Craig
Thank you for the kind words and I have corrected the ‘geography’
Semper fi,
Jim
I think this sentence is incomplete or, at least, not the way you intended: “I remembered the life-giving power of the Bong Song when I’d able to swim in.”
Your story (both 30 Days and The Cowardly Lion) are windows for me into combat trauma and its results on the human body and psyche. I work with veterans with PTSD and other combat trauma issues (and their spouses) Your work gives me valuable insight. I am a veteran but was not in combat. My own disability and hospital time were a result of pneumonia and not gunfire or shrapnel so your experiences are helping me understand theirs. Thank You.
Once again a riveting piece. You had been gone so long I was getting worried. Glad you are back. Semper Fi
Great writing, but that’s what you’ve caused me to expect from you. Minor edit: “… the Bong Song when I’d able to swim in. ” when I’d been able to swim in it. I see someone else already caught clock for close.
Thanks for your sharp eyes.
Corrected
Semper fi,
Jim
Catch 22
Yes, Heller had it perfectly correct.
Semper fi,
Jim
as I looked at my big close on the wall, big clock
Thanks for the help Paul…
Semper fi,
Jim
Good stuff!
very toveting
Thanks Joseph, and for saying out in such a public forum too…
Semper fi,
Jim
Ive been waiting to here this part of the narrative. I also had a return from country thru NSA Da Nang, the Yokosuka Japan, Travis AFB, then to Long Beach Naval Hospital. I found dealing with the trip home as challenging as my time in country. When in country it wasn’t what would happen just more of when, and I wanted to handle what came like a “real man”. Because we went thru whatever went on in country, with others, we were strengthened by our comrades. Suddenly we’re no longer a part of a team, we’re alone, and we have no control over our life, our schedule and a feeling of worry and guilt for abandoning our “guys’. I found the naval staff at each facility to be compassionate, and truly caring. I was totally in their care from late Oct 68 to April 69. The transition back to the “world” was more difficult than the transition to combat – because you did it alone, and without any control. I’m looking forward to your narrative of the return to the world and being re-United with family and friends. Because there is no way for them to have any understanding of how you have changed, and how much you’ll never feel comfortable trying to explain.
Vietnam combat vets coming home did so much, in their way, helped the VA and so many others
come to understand that you are not going into a war zone, function there, and then, if you make
it home, come home as anything like before the experience.
Thanks for that great writeup.
Semper fi,
Jim
Thanks Jim. I spent some time in Tachikawa, wounded by a young doctor at Cam Rhan Bay who was trying but obviously no idea how to treat me, but he tried. I metal several young Marine and army grunts being medevaced. A experience I will never forget. Your writing brings up those memories along with damp eyes all these years later. May the good Lord bless you and all those who survived!
Thanks for the comment Joe. Yes, “T” was the most strange of all the hospitals I came to
know and experience.
Thanks for that shore write up.
Semper fi,
Jim
Outstanding! Keep up the good writing. Thanks
Thanks Allen, appreciate the encouragement.
Semper fi,
Jim
Great read again!! The struggle and sacrifice that you gave for your country and ultimately me is beyond appreciated. Thank you..from the bottom of my heart thank you.
Side question… does anyone still call you junior? Or when was the last time you were called junior by any of your guys?
My nickname was a badge of honor to me and I haven’t been called it in years.
Not very often…~~smile
Semper fi,
Jim
Another great read. Thanks, JIM!
Outstanding details of you time in that hospital. The up and down of emotions had to be tough to live with. Question, is there more coming on what happened to the men your were with at the end of time in the valley. I’m sure we all look for information on what happened to them.
There will be a few anecdotes.
Semper fi,
Jim
General Jackson rides again,…..sadly!
Kathy said, ‘There’s nothing right about any of this’. She was correct.
Congratulations on your recuperations, LT.!
Managed chaos, the same kind of nightmare logic that ruled life and death at the bottom of the A Shau Valley survive insidiously throughout the war arena.
“the bottom of the A Shau Vally, survives..”
I’m at a loss for words to describe my thoughts and feelings when reading your story. War is indeed hell…..
With respect,
Thank you for the comment and correction.
Semper Fi,
Jim
Is this the end, seems like a good place to stop the madness of the war in Vietnam. Times back then where just as crazy as today, maybe even worse, Thank you LT for letting us in you mind!
Only way to understand why or how JAMES is to live it !!! SAD BUT TRUE!!
Comment: Jackson was sent back to probably the only place he understood and could function…he would have been put in a rubber suit back in the “world”.
2. You are amazingly effective when you have a mission impossible to accomplish….rather than being “not Stonewall” but Don Quixote,
😎 S/F
Bye the way are you sure that is Gen Jackson not Longstreet
Great Observation.
Thanks Col Jim,
Semper fi,
Jim
Welcome back LT.
It was north of most of the south, it was east from the ocean but I couldn’t picture just how it fit in with how’d I’d come to be there or even how The A Shau was west from the ocean…not east
Well written account James….have a lot of respect for the Marines who fought on the ground and the A Shau was a very bad place…waiting to purchase this book my Brother…..I still have not received the three autographed books for 30 days has September….I do anxiously await them as they were intended as a Christmas present for one of my squadron mates from HMM-262….Semper Fidelis…
James, thanks for another great chapter! Semper Fi.
Another touching segment. I never thought about where the wounded went and whether they came back to Vietnam, went directly home after being stabilized or transferred from hospital to hospital. I always felt they got very good care from the very best medical staff. Every day is a gift. Semper Fi
James, That you were able to get under Rory’s angry shell to bring out his true pain and then act to reunite him with his wife says much about your character. Snappy salute to you, Sir.
Some minor editing suggestions follow:
it was east from the ocean
?? maybe west rather than east
it was west from the ocean
I remembered the life-giving power of the Bong Song when I’d able to swim in.
Maybe “been” before “able”
Maybe “it” after “in”
I remembered the life-giving power of the Bong Song when I’d been able to swim in it.
I was tired out from the staggering, brushing and bouncing-off-walls travel from my room to the shower that I accepted Pus’s offer of a full free ride in the chair on the way back.
Maybe “so” before “tired”
I was so tired out from the staggering, brushing and bouncing-off-walls travel from my room to the shower that I accepted Pus’s offer of a full free ride in the chair on the way back.
OR period after “shower”; drop the “that” and begin a new sentence with “So”
I was tired out from the staggering, brushing and bouncing-off-walls travel from my room to the shower. So I accepted Pus’s offer of a full free ride in the chair on the way back.
“How could they have sent him back,” I asked in amazement
Maybe question mark after “back”
“How could they have sent him back?” I asked in amazement
He was determined, from the medical reports,
Add quotation mark before “He”
“He was determined, from the medical reports,
as I looked at my big close on the wall
Maybe “clock” instead of “close”
as I looked at my big clock on the wall
Neither she nor her husband can change or effect Marine orders in a combat zone.
Maybe “affect” instead of “effect”
Neither she nor her husband can change or affect Marine orders in a combat zone.
They don’t change orders given out when your still part of the combat team in actual
conflict.”
Maybe “you’re” instead of “your”
They don’t change orders given out when you’re still part of the combat team in actual
conflict.”
ruled life and death at the bottom of the A Shau Valley survive insidiously throughout the
war arena.
Maybe “survived” instead of “survive”
ruled life and death at the bottom of the A Shau Valley survived insidiously throughout the war arena.
A moving segment. Thank you for being so open. Blessings & Be Well. Stay Safe.
Again you shine, Dan.
Thank you and I believe all are corrected.
Semper fi, Jim