Gularte, Richard and I gathered in the cabin of Richard’s luxury yacht. The interior was so well done in teak, stainless-steel and glass that it felt more like some exotic penthouse rather than the interior cabin of a medium-sized boat. Once again, I wondered where all the money had to have come from and why it’d been spent for no obvious reason on a man evidently connected to some kind of intelligence work.
“I heard Butch’s retort as you walked away,” Richard said putting a Coors beer in front of Gularte and a coke in front of me.
Jim
I am honored to be among the regular comments that I read at the end of each of your chapters.
Your reaction to my comments has had the same affect on me, and I am humbled to read that response. Of course you can use this correspondence in any way that you see fit. Your writings have surely helped many to remember, understand, and cope with their own experiences.
About myself. My Dad and his brother joined the National Guard, admittedly to avoid the draft. His brother was sent over, was part of a motor pool, and came back with little to offer the Country that sent him. He died with a 12-pack a day habit and a destroyed liver. My Dad got married, and I was born at Fort Carson, Colorado in October of 68. So I guess Mom and I kept him from being sent over. I can still remember watching Walter Cronkite give updates on the evening news.
My Dad’s cousin joined the Marines in 1961. He started out in various transitional positions, and got moved to an Eval Team, on up to a Division HQ. From there he was moved to be with the 3rd Marine Division Recon Battalion, and joined the Force Recon unit in March of 65. He was now in the field, many times in Cambodia or North Vietnam. In July of 65, while stationed at Da Nang airbase, he was involved in a NVA offensive, that ultimately led to him receiving medals that he was not willing to receive at the time. At age 80, he has shared his story for the first time to his extended family at a yearly reunion.
His Recon Battalion held 52 Marines. His 4 person team was the last 4 Marines left when he was discharged in May of 67. He is now the last surviving member.
You boys didn’t know how tough you were, didn’t know what you were up against, didn’t know that you were being restricted, and learned that survival usually came with a lot of luck.
Myself, and all of your readers, are certainly glad that whoever found you that day, didn’t give you the extra spirets of Morphine to help ease your pain.
From a non soldier,
SALUTE and Semper Fi!
Todd F
This comment came into the email mailbox of the site but I thought Todd deserved to have it up here for everyone to read.
What a class act this guy is, non-soldier my eye….thanks my friend Todd….
Semper fi,
Jim
“Compartmentalization” doesn’t necessarily mean lying, just with holding part of the truth! Unfortunately when we have been exposed to a broader “real” world, the “What do you think?” question causes problems. I find myself comparing our situations and adaptations and wondering how I would act! Not as complex situations but just as far outside normal expectations!
Thank you!
Ah, the incisive deep thinking but simple presenting Homan returns. Thank God. Welcome back,
James. You are spot on, of course, what with your Vietnam experience and then being a
contractor for all manner of state agencies in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Thanks for the input.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Another deep dive LT. I can’t be the only one that got just a little excited that the plan has a name, can I? As far as the three Marines found dead in Hamstead, NC, preliminary autopsy says carbon monoxide poisoning. My theory is, they were on their way back to J-Ville from either Wilmington or Myrtle Beach on Hwy 17, had been drinking and pulled over to catch some z’s. It was hot, so they left the car running and the a/c going. Bad mistake. I’m probably wrong, but I’ve run my theory by a couple of others who made that trip and we agree that it’s possible. Anyway, another great chapter, can’t wait for the next one. Semper Fi Sir.
Marines, as you are learning through my writing, get selected to do certain things that ‘normal’ people don’t.
Check the MOS of those Marines. Where are they coming from and going to and what might they have participated in that someone wanted them not to talk about pretty seriously? You don’t leave the car running with the air-conditioning and get dead from the carbon monoxide, not unless the exhaust is damaged, as well as the body of the car.
Deserves looking into, just like the three I had back in that time… funny how quickly the conclusions about death came out immediately after they died.
Semper fi, and thanks for the cerebral comment.
Jim
A couple definitions for the word Tact have always stuck with me.
Tact is the ability to remove a fly from someone’s forehead with an axe.
It is also the ability to tell someone to go to hell, in a way that they thank you when you are done.
Your tactics are very creative and effective, going back to several other incidents.
The delivery of your chapters has hit me at a time in life where I have become a performer in an issue that also has many different angles and players that need various amounts of pressure. Following your experiences has helped me to understand my role, as I am also learning as I go.
Tuesday afternoon
I’m just beginning to see
Now I’m on my way
I find myself exhaling each time I finish a chapter, all the way back through the beginning of 30 Days. And so I reread through to try to figure out just where I began to hold my breath.
Thank you for your service, in all areas.
Todd, I love the comments I get, and I respond by answering them personally myself…one advantage of not being really famous.
Every once and a while I get an extraordinary comment that reaches right inside me. Your comment is one of those rare works.
I went ahead and put it up on some of my other sites and I hope you do not mind.
The substance of the comment is beyond description or thanks. I am in awe of your reaction to my writing and I
can’t thank you enough for handing me a great day as it began this day.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Compartmentalize… it was never brought up or held out as an example, but those that endured in the darker part of the work, adapted to it or left. I find now I struggled to “de-compartmentalize” on retirement, that simply didn’t work-out. When you unintentionally let one world slip into another it only causes friction. I am fine with putting away those old ways and leave them in thier box… but they are always there! Learning how to contain and use those skills effectively takes alot of effort.
I am thoroughly enjoying your journey as you take us along. The story is riviting!, the personal growth in it is awesome and I suspect, the hardest to pen. I know the path your on but could never have illustrated it as you do in such viberant colour and depth… thank-you!
That’s a might nice and in detail compliment there James, and it hits the center of my ‘pitcher’s glove’ with a smack.
Thank you for the boost this night, as I write on into the darkness that isn’t quite as dark as it was before.
Semper fi,
Jim
Once again another chapter leaving us wondering what is going to happen next. Don’t be poking the bear Butchie Boy!
FNG syndrome is so prevalent in our culture, particularly among the anthropoid male population. They just have no clue
and in order to convince them, sometimes, as here, one make a great effort to bring them close enough to the edge of
the precipice without having them step over.
Thanks for the great comment.
Semper fi, my friend,
JIm
“We’ll bring out* (our*) own stuff,” I replied, as I went up and out of the cabin
Here we go boys and girls, off to find out… 🙂
Great chapter, once again asking more questions of the reader than being provided by the writer !!!
Thanks for the suspense James !
Semper Fi
Thanks SgtBob and I appreciate the editing help too, as you know.
Semper fi,
Jim
It seems that we, of a certain vocation and certain eras had to learn to compartmentalize to exist in a world in which we no longer felt we didn’t fit into. Not the best way to live, but it allowed us to live. Many were on their feet, but not really living, having been pushed away from family and society because they were different. I believe the current generation in our former professions have been to isolated from the reality of a violent world for so much of their lives that they don’t know how to compartmentalize or cope with the departure from violence and a return to a world that they can’t adjust to, a world where the violence of combat is not understood. I know that suicide in previous decades, by our peers existed, but today it is more prevalent for this reason. You found Paul to help you figure it out. Today there aren’t enough ‘Paul’s’ around. Shrinks themselves have become too isolated to recognize a soldiers search to understand.
I don’t know if that all makes sense. Bottom line: most of us reading this understand.
Thanks Rick for going into the depth of this and then laying it down in such an intelligent fashion. I Was lucky with Paul, but it took
years to figure that out. Back in the day one never even considered that there might be a bunch of practitioners in that field who just
don’t give a damn about their patients, or if they do then they are way to remotely located in life to provide much of any help.
Appreciate your effort here…and the clarity of it…
Semper fi,
Jim
I believe quite a few of us that returned from Vietnam have compartmentalized to keep our families from knowing everything and worrying about us.
DUSTOFF medic 70-71
I’m with you there, of course, Cary. Whether it is always the right thing to do for everyone concerned
becomes problematic over time, however.
Thanks for the thoughtful competent comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
“We’ll bring out own stuff,” I replied, I think you mean to say, “own” rather than “out”
You are most correct Tim and I thank you for catching that so I can do a better job.
Semper fi,
Jim
I tend to end incomplete thoughts with …
You seem to prefer “Hopscotch “!
Very interesting…
The dot dot dot form of letting a thought or action play out can be effective as long as not overused…
I understand the criticism and will do better.
Your friend,
Semper fi,
Jim
DanC on the ball again! Bless the man.
I, too, was at a loss reading about the three LCPL’s. Sounds like something not quite right.
Following your thought processes through this chapter made me think how it was all coming together for your future life in the Agency. Almost perfect fit.
I did get confused over the “Butch” name, but other commenters have now straightened that out.
Anxiously awaiting the outcome of your plan with the Airstream – please write faster!
Semper Fi.
Thanks Craig, as usual. Sorry about the misplacement of the Butch name which should have been Richard, and now is.
Thanks to my editors on here, like DanC.
Appreciate the accuracy and consistency of your comments.
Semper fi,
Jim
I haven’t commented for a while but still following along. Another brilliant and intriguing read. Somehow reminds me of my Uncle. He worked for the DoD. Wasn’t a “Spook” but was a “Ghost”. He didn’t exist. Joke in the family was that he worked for the NSA…”No Such Agency”.
Family can be a tough issue for people working out of the spotlight like I was.
How do you get the advice, counsel and trust of your family if you can’t tell them everything,
and you can’t tell them everything because there’s almost no way to gauge the threat to them
should they say something to someone out of turn. Thanks for your chiming in here to describe a bit of what your life with
such a character was like.
Semper fi,
Jim
You have most all of us on your wavelength I do think JAMES!!!
Certainly glad to have you aboard Harold, as your kind of expressive force in my life
energizes and keeps me going. Thank you so much.
Semper fi
Jim
This seems like a mission Mardian would give to Richard, if he does what we think he does. So I’m guessing this is a sort of “test’ by the White House. Maybe Butch is lucky Richard isn’t in charge! Semper Fi James!
Jack, I became a company commander in the valley, and then became a team leader before I ever entered the agency and was given the
actual role. Richard was a most outstanding guy but leading wasn’t something that was natural to him.
Thanks for you thoughts here about both him and me.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Have you ever heard from Gunny again after you got wounded?
I ran into him in a small town in Southern New Mexico back in 1986. He was the assistant manager of the bank I was standing in.
He’d been promoted to 1st sergeant before he retired, he said. We made an appointment for lunch the following week.
I drove the 66 miles to the town on that day. The Gunny failed for the first time to make it to work that day. The manager was very
surprised. We drove to the Gunny’s home to stand at the front door. Gunny’s presumed wife answered and said that he would be
unable to speak to me.
I left, never to return, not understanding then but understanding now.
Thanks for asking,
Semper fi,
Jim
Quick thinking and fast reactions, worked for you in VN and working great for you now !!
Dear Don:
Yes, I’ll give you that one. It’s something you either have and develop or never comprehend.
Thanks for the recognition on here and the compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
compartmentalization
means holding truth from someone
then we tell ourselves it has to be this way
I must protect them which also
protects me or a least the version of me I share with the world
such a paradox but it works or so we believe
great chapter you create a magnet we must touch
I thought of you today when I read of three young marines found dead in a vehicle here in S C. Carbon monoxide , coroner said.
Carroll, I also thought about the trio back in my day and got a bit of a chill.
There three also died of natural causes in this instance. Oh come on!
Semper fi,
Jim
Me too
I kinda got that Harold, but you did make me laugh!
Semper fi,
Jim
Looks like you have been given the green light to start on you new plan. What will come of it remains to be seen (written & read). Another in depth look at a man trying to come home, but not sure which path or master to serve. You definitely are a complex person in a confusing world. All meant as a compliment. Semper fi sir
Thanks a ton Bob, and yes to all you say in your analysis of my life and presence in it.
Thanks for the great compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
“How?” Butch asked, pushing the point beyond where I wanted
“Butch?”
Clarify Mr. Rambo!
Thanks and Semper fi,
Jim
You were talking to Richard about Butch, then quoted Butch when you meant Richard.
Thanks for catching that, Christopher
Got it fixed.
I believe he was referring to the planning session in the boat when you refer to Butch and then write “How? Butch said”. I think it should read “How? Richard asked”
Sharp eyes are always appreciated, Sam
Thank you
Quick thinking work for the president
Thanks Joseph, and when I blurted that out I did so because that’s what I truly believed, and believer to
this day!
Semper fi,
Jim
More deliciousness.
THANKS!
I was wondering if Richard’s yacht (and his mast-top, neato surveillance gear) was in the marina when the 3 marines died (yes, I have not forgotten about that particular mystery.
Mr mystery investigator an sleuth all in his own right…Walter the Duke.
The Marines are not gone from the story forever, and when they come back
you’ll never forget them.
Thanks for the usual brilliant analysis…
Semper fi,
Jim
James, “I thought one way for a bit, until one man and the situation modified the way I came to think about life forever” I sure would like to hear you expand on that if only with a name.
I’m guessing some door hinges are going to receive replacement wooden pins. If so, we shall see what happens next.
I had to look up Green River soda. Is it available in Lake Geneva?
I would have liked it if you had brought Julie upstairs to let Bozo in. An opportunity to share the marvel of feline athletic ability. However, you needed the alone time for introspection.
A win to see Gates back down. Good to be enough of a mystery that people give you the space you require.
Some minor editing suggestions follow:
not wanting to say anymore
Two words “Any more”
not wanting to say any more
informed by or interacted in any way with
Reads a bit smoother with different word order
informed by or interacted with in any way
it came right back at me like the tip of slow-moving spear
Add “a” before “slow”
it came right back at me like the tip of a slow-moving spear
The men I was working with and for would not settle for not decision
Seems Like the “not” before “decision” should be “no”
The men I was working with and for would not settle for no decision
I stopped, went back, and that could quickly see that Richard’s mast-top
“that” before “could” is extra.
I stopped, went back, and could quickly see that Richard’s mast-top
Gularte and I, both of us had been shocked
Maybe “were” instead of “had been”
Gularte and I, both of us were shocked
and jumped over to stand on the jetty.”
No need for closing quotes
and jumped over to stand on the jetty.
as I went up and out of the cabin, crossed the yacht’s spacious cockpit and jumped over to stand on the jetty
Gularte and I walked toward the car.
Then later
“Later,” I said to Richard, then climbed the three steps into the cockpit before jumping to the side of the jetty, with Gularte right behind me.
Maybe keep “Later,” I said to Richard. and drop the rest of the sentence.
I drove Gularte home, to get changed and the Bronco with straps and tools.
Maybe add some:
I drove Gularte home to get changed and to pick up the Bronco and load it with the straps and tools.
bring the Staff Sergeant in on what I was planning, if he was there, if he would cooperate.
Since a list – maybe semicolons instead of commas
bring the Staff Sergeant in on what I was planning; if he was there; if he would cooperate.
he stared back down through the thin iron railings back at me.
Two instances of “back” Maybe drop second.
he stared back down through the thin iron railings at me.
Neither my wire nor my daughter
“wife” rather than “wire”
Neither my wife nor my daughter
like he was waiting, and I knew he was waiting.
Good as is but could substitute “understood” for “knew”
like he was waiting, and I understood he was waiting.
in having had not feline experience at all
“no” instead of “not”
in having had no feline experience at all
I pulled out the portable 8-Track recorder
Maybe “player” rather than “recorder”
I pulled out the portable 8-Track player
Red VW = Konigsrot (Royal Red). Great color!
I went around front.
Maybe add “to the”
I went around to the front.
bothering me and effecting my thoughts about everything else.
Think it should be “affecting” rather than “effecting”
bothering me and affecting my thoughts about everything else.
you feel you have to apply without anybody at all know you are or have applied it
Maybe “knowing” rather than “know”
you feel you have to apply without anybody at all knowing you are or have applied it
/ I changed the either/or to two sentences. The first presents the issue. The second is advice to follow. That removes the choice portion for you. I’m not sure that is true to what you intended to convey. /
You must either lose her
Change “must” to “might”
Drop “either”
You might lose her
whatever those really are, and are not something
Drop “and”
whatever those really are, are not something
she can probably live with or you must learn
End sentence at “with” add period
Drop “or”
Capitalize “you” begin new sentence
she can probably live with. You must learn
too much from my wife, which meant I had to give her or less
Maybe change to:
too much from my wife, which meant I had to confide in her less
OR
too much from my wife, which meant I had to share less with her.
Scruggs was piece of work
Add “a” before “piece”
Scruggs was a piece of work
Head over to Richard’s yachts
“yacht” instead of “yachts”
Head over to Richard’s yacht
Blessings & Be Well
Thanks so much DanC. The corrections are much needed and make the work actually look like its coming from a pro and not little old me.
Your conclusions and opinions at the start of your comment are just as interesting and Germaine. Thanks for the compliments in those too.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim