Whole Man and his A-6 Intruder were gone, and the jungle below was silent, as well as the drums mounted on what was left of the upper lip of the cliff. The lack of the mind-numbing drumbeats was balanced by the emptiness I felt over losing what air support we’d had until the Intruder might, or might not, return later in the night. How many had been lost of Sugar Daddy’s platoon to accomplish the resupply, and getting McInerney’s body back to the rear? The enemy fifty caliber machine gun had to have taken an awful toll in being able to penetrate both sides of the bridge’s metal structure. The river’s depth and flow almost assured that some Marines likely hit had been lost in its waters. The firing had been very extensive, and directed only at the crossing Marines and not the resupply chopper at all. Whether the NVA leaders had determined they wanted to avoid the withering fire of the Cobra Commander Turk, and his squadron of Cobras, to preserve the gun, or whether their reasoning was about something else I couldn’t know. There was also no way, particularly in the dark, the enemy could have known about the addition of the 81 mm mortars to our inventory. They had to know the Ontos was pinned down, and the dangers we ourselves faced in calling in another 175 mission. The accuracy and murderous effect of the mortar fire had to have taken them completely by surprise.
Had the fifty caliber been neutralized, and if it had then why was there no RPG rocket fire that might have accompanied the machine gun attack, or even come blasting in after? Another unanswered and unanswerable question.
The moon was gone. The clouds were gathering and a pre-misting wind was blowing across the river from the other side. It was only a matter of time until the monsoon rains began to fall again. There was no point in my moving to the stern, or rear, of the bridge, as the bodies would come over, those that were recoverable, the wounded and the dead. I was not needed for that operation, as Jurgens would remain where he was. Another medivac chopper would have to be called in for those survivors who were still alive and could survive into the next day. I instinctively felt the small bulge in the right thigh pocket where my morphine supply was located. It was then that I realized that I hadn’t thought to get my letter home to the chopper I’d been able to rough out earlier. Two days earlier. I felt bad that the actions at the bottom of the A Shau had taken all of my attention away from any thoughts about home and my wife and daughter. I’d been able to write home almost every day of my stay in Vietnam and wanted my track record to be perfect. It was possible that she, after twenty-eight days, was only now receiving the first letters I’d written. There was no way to predict what happened to the mail any of us put on the chopper. Was it delayed in delivery at some point of departure from Vietnam, or somewhere else along the way? Was the normal damaged envelope and soggy paper available used as an excuse by the military, or even the U.S. Postal Service to toss the letters, or what remained of them?
I could not wait for the butcher’s bill on the bridge action. The Gunny was covering the mudflat beneath the wall we’d used for fragmentation the night before. That area was from where the next attack would have to be launched. There was no way to safely cross the river using the bridge. Two M-60s could easily defend the fifteen-foot span of rushing water racing around the displaced rear of the bridge. That was, of course, if the bridge didn’t move again, which it was bound to do at some time soon. I knew Jurgens was experienced enough to have pulled down the makeshift cargo nets.
My place was spotting for the Ontos, as I had done before. There were no real commands to issue, as the river covered our eastern flank, and the flooding inlet connection to it kept the enemy from charging across the distance from Hill 975 (except for the shallows that ran thinly over the area near the wall everyone had come to call the mudflats). An attack from the rear, through the jungle below in the south, was fairly easy to defend because of the difficulty of moving through it, the open area and the ability of the Ontos to turn and fire flechette rounds down the open area nearly instantly also secured that area from any large scale attack.
The expected night assault came without warning, other than a line of green tracers coming out of the lower part of the mountain to begin working back and forth across the edge of jungle both Marine companies were set up to defend. I checked my watch again, trying to somehow force, or at least urge, the dawn to come faster.
There had been no report coming from the river on casualties, and that fact alone meant the results were probably not good. That, plus the fact that I was growing ever more uncomfortable with our position. We had defended the nearly undefendable for some time. How long would it be before the NVA forces downriver attacked from the jungle they were no doubt spending plenty of time and energy digging through and under? A coordinated attack from all three sides, north, south and from across the bridge would spread our defensive fire capability way too thin, even with the 81s, the Ontos and the M-60s laying down heavy fire from the load of ammunition that had been unloaded from the resupply chopper. There was one other factor that the A-6 had reminded me of. The ridges running nearly a thousand feet up along both sides of the canyon on both sides of the river. If the NVA accessed the western ridge, up and above the face we had used to rain rock shrapnel down on the mudflat, then they would have a fourth element of raining plunging fire into our totally exposed position below. There would be no surviving such a four-pronged attack. The attacks on two fronts could not be repulsed forever, even if resupply came in almost every day or night, and that was simply not a possibility unless there was some other way to funnel in massive ammunition supplies I’d never heard of.
The Gunny had the mortars targeting the mudflat, and when the first wave of attackers came their fire was murderously effective, but I could not help but count the rounds expended. There would be little left in the more than likely event of another attack. The Ontos cut the remaining attackers to pieces by firing six of its remaining flechette rounds, under my direction. The enemy attack failed again, and I wondered about the seemingly inexhaustible number of soldiers the enemy had. It was disconcerting, with an added touch of fear. I had Hutzler reload with high explosives once more and then got the Gunny up on the command net. The mortars needed to cover the eastern edge of the next attack and force the enemy to get closer to the wall. The Ontos fire would use the wall to be even more effective in reaching down to kill the exposed crawling soldiers attacking thereby saving as many flechette rounds as possible.
The Gunny surprisingly asked me to come to his position at the wall, which at first I was hesitant to do. That was until a few minutes later when the battery in the Starlight Scope failed.
“Where’s the extra battery?” I asked Fusner, who normally carried several for the scope.
“That was the extra battery,” he replied, disappointment evident in his voice.
I breathed in and out deeply. Resupply could have easily included more batteries if they’d been ordered. The batteries were small and weighed next to nothing, but they were special and there was no replacement for them. The instrument that had been so decisive in helping us direct our fire at just the right time and just the right place was now useless. We were as blind as the enemy, but with about three thousand, or more, fewer men.
The Gunny called. The fifty had opened up from its mountain burrowed lair again, which was evident without the Gunny’s report. The gun crew of the mortars could adjust fire but they needed a forward observer who could call and adjust precision fire without wasting rounds.
I hadn’t been exposed to the fifty’s fire in some time. My position in my foxhole at the river had been completely protected by a berm of earth and mud even the Soviet fifty rounds could not penetrate all the way through. The Marines crossing the bridge had had no such protection. My current position did not allow for the mountain-positioned heavy machine gun to traverse east enough to angle toward me. I didn’t want to move to the wall and become a target of the gun’s direct fire, but I knew I had no choice. The Marines manning the mortars didn’t want just any forward observer. They wanted me, which under any other circumstance would have made me feel some warmth and pride, instead of dread and fear.
I moved, crawling through the clearing on my belly, with Fusner trailing close behind and Nguyen off to one side and just ahead. There was no moving fast anywhere along the route, open or not. The enemy fire could come at any time from the jungle edge that ran along on the downriver side, not more than fifty meters distant. By the time I reached the Gunny’s position, guided in by Nguyen, the fifty was no longer firing.
“We need to shut that thing down, and then fire on the eastern flat to push them into the wall when they come,” the Gunny said.
I said nothing to the Gunny about the fact that my conclusion, made earlier, was exactly the same as his own. Instead, I squatted down next to him and went to work to dig a little hole to heat up some water and make coffee. The coffee wasn’t to slake any thirst but to make a place in time to talk. The fifty was temporarily quiet, but my hands still shook, while unlimbering my canteen holder and then pouring some water into it. The Gunny, as I hoped, provided a chunk of the composition B explosive for the fire, and then took out a cigarette and lit it with his Zippo.
My crawl up the open space, bare from the river to the cliff face, had been tiring but also strange because there was a certain unsettled silence that had seemed to radiate out from the Marines I’d passed. The Gunny wasn’t being as open as he usually was, either, I noted. The resupply had been a success, but there had to be something going on.
I got the explosive lit down inside my small hole in the jungle floor. There was plenty of brush between our position and that of the NVA force out across the killing field of the mudflat, and the small inlet of fast-flowing water, to make it nearly impossible for the enemy to see either the Gunny’s cigarette glow or the small reflection of the fire burning up against the bottom of my blackened canteen holder of water.
“You going to tell me?” I asked, noting that this time the Gunny wasn’t in a sharing mood with his cigarette.
“We took a bad hit at the bridge,” he replied, the tone of his voice flat and unemotional.
“The fifty, as they intended,” I came back, not knowing what else to do other than wait for the report of casualties he possessed. It seemed everyone else had that information too, except for me. I’d hoped for good news there, although I’d suspected that the numbers might be high.
“Twenty-seven,” The Gunny finally said, his voice almost too low for me to hear.
“How many KIA?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
Twenty-seven was more than half the table of organization personnel called for, and Sugar Daddy’s platoon hadn’t been fully up to standard in size.
“All of them,” the Gunny replied, “They were all behind the bridge, using it for cover as they crossed, and they’re gone. No need for a chopper recovery. The fifty rounds lanced on through the thin steel, taking them out one after another, like it was made of waterproof cardboard instead of solid steel, except for Sugar Daddy. He was up top running all over trying to do something to save his men, but there was nothing to be done. The mortars worked great, finally, but you couldn’t get them up and adjusted in time to save those men.”
“Sugar Daddy?” I asked, a shot of adrenalin going straight through my body, from top to bottom.
“Sugar Daddy?” I asked again, but already knowing the answer.
“Dead as a doornail,” the Gunny went on, in his same flat tone, one that seemed uncaring. But I’d come to know something of the extraordinary sergeant over time, and I knew he was covering up his own loss by layering an analytical coat over everything he said.
“Jurgens got his body off the bridge, which is a story in and of itself,” the Gunny droned on, finally offering his cigarette to me.
I took it in my shaking left hand, but didn’t inhale, trying to hold the lit thing in one hand and balance my heating water in the other. We’d just lost almost one-eighth of the Marines we had in both companies, which amounted to the worst night of KIA loss I’d experienced since coming into country.
“They blame me,” I finally said, placing the canteen holder on the ground.
I inhaled from the cigarette and then handed it back.
“It was your plan,” the Gunny replied. “Funny, it was one of the rare ones that didn’t have a screwy name. Maybe we could call it The Night of the Living Dead now, except there’s no living about it.”
“They blame me,” I said again, this time my fear rising like a thick ropey mass moving from my lower gut on up to my chest.
I could not survive the Marines blaming me and I knew it in my core.
“No, that’s the funny part,” the Gunny replied. “They feel sorry for you. Even the survivors of his platoon think Sugar Daddy thought you saved them all from Jurgens’ platoon and then from the enemy. There’s no logic in this horrible valley.”
The Marines didn’t blame me. I felt able to breathe again. I played the Gunny’s words back and forth in my mind, once more heating my coffee although I had no coffee packet or creamer, for that matter. The Gunny wasn’t offering any. I decided that it was too dark for him to see my predicament, although the glow of my still burning explosive fire sort of blew a hole in that explanation. The Marines didn’t blame me. The Gunny blamed me. How could I have predicted that they’d get the damned fifty-caliber up and operational again, or that it would take aim at the vulnerably positioned Marines instead of the heavily defended supply chopper? How could I have had more control to get the mortars set up faster and then adjust fire with Marines if I had no idea might even be able to accept and understand fire direction orders? I closed my eyes and took a swig of the too hot water, with about as much substance in it as was in my own heart.
I thought of defensive arguments to come back at the Gunny with. We had to have the supply mission and it had to land where it did, and then we had to have Marines get over to it and lug the supplies back. None of us could have survived the night without that resupply load of ammo, water and more. But, I knew it was useless. For the first time in my month in-country, and combat, I started to understand and deeply feel the terrible burden of inescapable responsibility, accountability, and also the guilt of commanding men who then died performing their very best to obey those commands, no matter how misguided or misplaced the rationality forming the decisions to make the commands might be, or in this case, might have been.
“Where’s his body, or did it go over the side too?” I asked, pushing my hot canteen down next to the expiring fire to fry and squish some emerging leeches from the muddy runnels that squeezed up between the leafy and crushed fern material of the beaten-down jungle floor.
I assumed that there were no bodies to transport because the men had been hit with not only the fifty ammo but with the shrapnel it would have created in penetrating both sides of the bridge, and then hitting them with splashes of molten steel and small razor-sharp bits of whatever else the bullets were comprised of. Some of the Marines might even have lived, at least until they were swept under the bridge and then downriver to drown alone in the middle of the night.
“The body’s in your foxhole back at the river, where I instructed them to put if for safekeeping,” the Gunny replied.
I turned to look around me. Fusner’s eyes were glistening, and I wondered if he was crying. Sugar Daddy had been a Marine piece of work but he’d been such a force of nature in the company that it was hard to imagine the company going on without him. Nguyen was just next to and back from Fusner. I looked into what I could see of his eyes. He nodded ever so slightly back toward the river. I knew instantly what he was communicating. I nodded back by lowering my chin slightly. The Montagnard disappeared in the night, as was his habit. He was going to recover my pack and other belongings I’d left in the hole. If it was the Gunny’s plan that I be shamed by having to return and displace Sugar Daddy’s body to get my stuff, well, at least I wouldn’t have to face that.
“I wrote Jurgens up for a star and sent it off on a chopper to the battalion,” I said, to make talk, but also to try to openly discuss rewarding Sugar Daddy for the bravery he’d demonstrated time and again, once he’d come to accommodate me as the company commander.
“I don’t trust battalion to give him a damn thing,” I went on. “I don’t want to send Sugar Daddy’s recommendation there. Is there another solution?”
“Send them to Headquarters Marine Corps,” the Gunny answered. “Send it to the commandant himself. Chapman.”
“I don’t know the address there,” I replied, not knowing what else to say, and not having expected the Gunny to reply at all.
“Eighth and I, the postal service will do the rest.”
“Eighth and I?” I asked. “What kind of address is that?”
“It’s the oldest Marine post on the planet,” the Gunny said. “He’ll get it. It’s where Eighth Street and I Street intersect in Arlington, Virginia. You’ll find, if you ever make it back into the world, that the United States Postal Service is the Marine Corps of postal delivery. They’ll get almost every one of those strange letters you send home all the time, and they’ll for damn sure get the citation to the commandant.”
“Will he award the decorations if he gets them, at that high level?” I asked, more to keep him engaged and talking than because I wanted, or needed, to know.
“Hell yes,” the Gunny replied, the flatness leaving his voice, “because no officers have the balls to go all the way around the chain of command to do such a career-ending thing. But we don’t have careers to worry about anymore and God knows you have the balls.”
It was still dead dark minutes later when the fourth attack began, but this time everything was different. We had no Starlight Scope to see in the dark. I could not direct the Ontos fire and from our position near the wall, none of us could see anything across the blackness of the mudflat. The attack gave itself away because the soldiers running and crawling were firing their AK assault rifles. The fifty remained silent, as it could not fire blindly through its own attacking force.
The difference was that the Intruder was back, and along with it, ‘Whole Man,’ our bombardier and navigator. Homan did all the talking on the radio, but without Thompson flying the controls, the plane would never have been able, time after time, to save me and the Marines around me. The rapid turn-around the Intruder made from the carrier was just another proof of that. I knew the plane, some called the flying drumstick, could not stay up as long as the Skyraiders, and I missed Cowboy and his fellow pilots whenever they could not be overhead. But the Skyraiders could not be there at night. They were not day/night all-weather ground attack aircraft like the Intruder. In order to be back overhead in less than three hours, the A-6 had no doubt set some sort of record in loading ordnance, and then flying both legs of the trip at maximum speed. Homan and Thompson cared, as the men on the carrier had to care, and without any of us talking about it on the ground under them, I knew it. That knowledge injected hope and warmth through the core of radiating fear and pain I had come to live with. I could only hope the Marines around me felt the same way.
Homan didn’t bring the plane in at high altitude, dive down and then pull up steeply to unload the huge bombs the plane had carried in its earlier runs. These bombs were the smaller ones, but the delivery of them was entirely different. The Intruder came in down the river as the Skyraiders had done in many of their previous raids, but the Intruder seemed even lower than the big radial powered propeller aircraft. The first run was across the lower jungle on the other side of the river, and the plane seemed to drop six or eight of the smaller, but still violently concussing weapons. The ripple effect of the explosions and muted but brilliant fireworks of their effect was undeniably spectacular. The enemy had a disadvantage when it came to trying to deal with Thompson and Homan. They were in a fixed position, even if dug in fairly securely. The constant rearrangement of the jungle above them had to be disconcerting, if not wounding or killing. The second pass of the Intruder was entirely different after I got on the AN-323 and let Homan know in detail about the mudflat just south of the mountain running on our side of the inlet feeding inlet water between our position and that of Hill 975.
Somehow the A-6 was able to fly low across the top of the canyon lip in the east and then drop right down to scream in about fifty or sixty feet above the mudflat. The break in the cliff face, allowing the water to flow from deeper in the canyon complex walls into the Bong Song, proved to be wide enough to let the Intruder fly through.
The string of bombs that came down proved to be much larger and longer than the string dropped to level the lower jungle area. The bombs exploded so much closer that, once again, all of us waiting and watching only a couple of hundred meters away were forced deeper into the muddy jungle surface by the sweeping concussion waves. Jungle debris scattered and fell down upon everyone anywhere close.
How long could the Intruder stay and why could God not let the light fall down into our cursed and killing valley sooner?
Don’t write for me. This is your story alone and only yours. You gift us by letting us “attend” to the side. Your story is your story, our stories are and always will be ours. Tell us yours!! Sir
Ah, I am sorry I gave you the wrong idea.
This story is a rendition of what happened so it is about only the men who
served in the valley and what happened through that month.
Thanks for the comment and I hope you understand just how much I appreciate all that you write, and that of the others on here too.
I do write for all of us though, as this is that kind of production…or call it what you want. I would never have written or
finished the thing without your participation and comments on here.
Semper fi,
Jim
James, May your medical procedure scheduled for Jan 8th be a complete success. May you be restored to robust health – ready to do or not do whatever you please. Sending some healing energy your way. Blessings & Be Well
Thank you for your good wishes.
Complications in scheduling have changed the date to January 26.
Semper fi,
Jim
Was not really prepared for the loss of Sugar Daddy. I realize he had somewhat checkered history but he evidently went out like the warrior he was at heart. Take care Lt…
And now a message from the sponsor
https://www.jetpilots.com/spads-with-a-load
James, May this New Year bring healing to your body and soul. Consider putting off writing until your heart condition is resolved. Your cohort of readers supports your Journey – however long it takes to unfold. Always at your own pace.
Blessings & Be Well
Have to do something during this time of ‘high anxiety,’ so writing might as well be it. How much Netflix
binge watching can one do? Thanks for caring
Semper fi
Jim
is the A-6 flying off a carrier or out of Danang ? need to keep that consistent.
Yes, you are right. I did not really know when I was in the valley…only later.
Semper fi,
Jim
I once thought, back in the day, that that war was winnable. Now I’m not so sure and it no longer matters, anyway.
But I am sure that a political commitment to do so was never found and that we put so many men through what you describe here without an unkillable will to win was a stain on the national honor that can never be erased.
All stains fade over time. Yes, the war was a travesty of bad intent and
downright stupidity but it wasn’t a case where everyone went that way.
Thanks for the comment and the care…
Semper fi,
Jim
Lt, the pain of the loss of your men and Sugar Daddy came through in your writing. The picture of the Marine at the top of the story said it all, ominously, set up from the previous chapter. Looking forward to the finish. Merry Christmas! TJ
Thank you, Tom
A very Blessed Merry Christmas and rewarding New Year to you and yours.
Semper fi,
Jim
We grieve with you, Sir. Your loss is a loss shared by everyone reading this now and in future years. It is sad for me to not know their real names and to give them honor by name, but a treasure was shared with a reader who knows one of your aviators. Praying for you in the new publishing tactic and your prep for treatment soon. Have a blessed Christmas. Poppa J
Thanks so much Poppa, and I have had three other contacts from back in the day plus saw one of the arty officers
who fired for me down in the valley. That was at a reunion. He didn’t want to talk.
Semper fi, and Merry Christmas.
Jim
I have a go fund me site now to help defray expenses if you want see fit to help out there….https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
Just put a lil something in the go fund me. Pray this works well. Poppa
Thanks Poppa, means the world right now…
Semper fi,
Jim
Sugar Daddy gone ??
27 KIA ??
What an awful hand to be dealt.
And you are almost to the end of your 30 days yourself, LT …..
this has to be getting more and more weighty on you.
One small edit:
“We need to shut that that thing down, and then fire on the ….
Lose a “that”
Thank you, Joel
You are correct regarding the effect.
AND, Thank you for the edit.
Corrected.
Semper Fi,
Jim
Fantastic writing.
It really communicates what battle is like for those who were involved. Thank you for your service, and what must be very difficult times as you relive and put to print the time you spent in the valley.
Thanks Charles for the great compliment.
Much appreciated and Merry Christmas…
Jim
I have a go fund me site now to help defray expenses if you want see fit to help out there….https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
Is Homan my buddy Jim? I know he flew Intruders over there.
YES, HE MOST CERTAINLY IS!!!
Semper fi,
Jim
Wow. We all share the nightmares from our own time there, but in a strange way a lot of us are really invested in your story and have stuck with in hopes that when you go home, we go home in a way too. Sorry for the ramblings…
Take ten, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Thanks for the sentiment in your words and the compliment, as well…
Semper fi,
Jim
To help defray costs of printing, distribution and the time and trouble of running a personal publishing operation, not to mention getting out of here to meet the vets, I have started a GoFundMe Drive. Please consider helping out if you can. Here is the link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
James, have you read Matterhorn by Carl Malantis? In it he describes that you use your best men for the most difficult tasks. Knowing the chance of them getting killed is a possible result. This kept coming to mind as I read the aftermath of the re supply. I shed a few tears for Sugar Daddy tonight.
Thanks Mike, much appreciate the heart and depth if that comment. Yes, I have read Malantis and he’s good.
Semper fi,
Jim
I have a go fund me site now to help defray expenses if you want see fit to help out there….https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
Amazing, simply amazing. I have no other words.
How does it feel to be so human in the midst of inhumanity? You’ve done well sir, to address that question from a combat perspective. Surely, within your deft accounting of how the flight of the Intruder differed with each pass to circumstance, so too you reveal how loss must and always will be the measure of one’s endurance.
Loss…the eternal catalyst, that every soul ever to dwell here, in this earthly realm, be not forgotten. That every soul, endure.
Even as we with you Lieutenant, stand at the sheer cliff face of your own how…left to stare eye to eye with that seemingly unanswerable, why. Whether slaking your way through a vat of molasses or kicking against the unseen grip of the demons below…you’ve endured every loss by way of your unique how.
And so it is! Even now, I find myself, (as one your many readers) encouraging you to continue onward! For having been shown that no matter the discomforts placed in our path to remind us of our own losses…suffered both in silence and with all, neither should they serve as a measure of how to affix blame!
To endure is to suffer loss. None of us are unaffected.
Yet, it is through your story and it’s telling, that I believe all might gain insight as to why all of us, if not only you, must endure.
If all is fair in Love and War, choose love.
For neither are survivable without certain loss. Choose to use your own inimitable how as means to our own personal revelation of why.
Semper Fi, Jim
And thank you for allowing your readers to deliver your letter… home!
Thanks, as usual Mr. Hayes, for the depth and breadth of your comment. Always great reading.
Semper fi,
Jim
I want to encourage you to finish those last few chapters. The hardest ones. I don’t have the words to do so nor the right. But I know you will, when you can. Hugs, James.
Thanks Kathi, for the compliment and well wishes…and for that contribution too!!!
Merry Christmas,
Jim
Leadership and Command in actual combat are at times the most agonizingly terrible positions to hold.
Jim, thanks for another great chapter!
Thanks a lot Mike,
Much appreciate the compliment,
Semper fi,
Jim
I have a go fund me site now to help defray expenses if you want see fit to help out there….https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
Only we who have known this can really understand or care.I have tried telling about some of these things, and I seem to have a need too, but when the listener’s eyes betray them , I pull back and I’m lost again. Thank you for story, I’m with you. On a much smaller scale, but similar situation ,I was an enlisted rank (Cpl ) put in squad ldr position on my 1st week in country in the middle of big deadly Op. After awhile, and trying to listen to any and all advice,some good some not so good ,I decided if I was too die,I would take responsibility for my own decisions. As I look back I relive my decisions over and over, what could I have done better, for me and my men. Some how I lived long enough to make Plt Sgt, and make it home to my wife and 1st daughter. Keep up the good work. Semper Fi
Thanks for the oh so meaningful and deep comments about your own experience over there.
Yes, we do relive those decisions over and over for the rest of our lives. Whom would have thought?
I thought I was just getting through and then it would be over one way or the other. Never expected to
have it all remain so fresh and immediately available for more processing!
Semper fi,
Jim
In the ninth or tenth paragraph in the previous chapter Sugar Daddy is quoted as saying he would do his best to get the re-supply unloaded and over to Jurgens’ men. He lived up to his word. Like him or hate him he died a Marine doing his best. That Jurgens got his body off the bridge is testimony enough to the way you galvanized the combany into the a unit. A terrible number in the body count but stay focused. God bless you and your men.
I always appreciate your input, Chuck.
We need to get together this year.
Semper fi,
Jim
Suggestions =
M-60s laying down heavy fire from the load of ammunition that had bee* unloaded from the resupply chopper. [been **]
“You going to tell me?” I asked, noting that this time that* the Gunny wasn’t in a sharing mood with his cigarette. [delete 2nd that*]
“Jurgens got his body off the bridge, which is a story in of* itself,” the Gunny droned on, finally offering his cigarette to me. [delete of*]
mortars set up faster and then adjust fire with Marines I had no idea * might even be able to accept and understand fire direction orders? [if they*]
Losses are adding up but thank goodness for Marine airpower !!
Once again a riveting read James, keep on keepin on !!
SEMPER Fi
As always Sgt Bob, your sharp eyes are so appreciated.
Corrected.
Semper fi,
Jim
that was a hard one for you and the men , your luck is running on a thin line with no support from Bn
That’s a big ‘no kidding’ there Bill. Thanks for paying attention and understanding the situation.
Semper fi,
Jim
Totally and overwhelmingly gripping. Don’t know what else to say about the last four chapters. The comments are as tough to read as the story. Thank You.
Yes, the comments do indeed ad an exclamation point to the segments…thanks for noting and for the compliment…
Semper fi,
Jim
I haven’t written in a while, but I check the site daily and read new chapters a couple times. I will buy Third Ten Days when it is available. This is another descriptive chapter. Getting more tense as we know you are going to be badly wounded and some of the characters aren’t going to make it. I look forward to your recovery story when you get started on that. I like your writing style.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concern, MSGt.
Semper fi.
Jim
“Every day is a holiday and every meal a banquet” SgtMaj. Albert L. Ross Jr.
Sixth paragraph….. heavy fire from the load of ammunition that had bee unloaded from the resupply chopper.” looks like an “n” dropped off the text in the word “been”.
Most of us put that pain in a closet and try to never look at it much less bring it in to the light. Semper Fidelis.
Your comment is so appreciated and your “catch” has been corrected, Mark.
Semper fi,
Jim
Sugar Daddy was at first and at the last a Marine, doing what needed to be done in spite of the obvious risk. What more can be asked of a combat soldier? Was his medal approved? It was certainly earned! As were many whose deeds were never recorded, much less honored.
A minor edit: “….and I missed Cowboy and his fellow pilots whenever they could not be overheard. ” Should be “overhead”, IMO.
Well, that one slipped by.
Thank you for your observation and support Mike.
Corrected.
Semper fi,
Jim
Lt-
War and battle up close is a MF!
You and your group that survived and the ones that did not survive all have a common theme.
We do what we do as the Integrity of our training and the USA as we know it is what we fight for 🇺🇸
It’s hard but keep “bringing it” and once finished, it’s forward to a new chapter of life 👍🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Lt- Job Well Done !!!
A GRIEF SESSION TO HONOR THE LOSS IS NEXT FOR YOU AND PRAYERS.
Thanks Chris, you have indeed hit the nail on the head.
The grief sessions never seem to end and the guys are never forgotten.
I suppose that is the way it is supposed to be but it can be hard to accept.
You might see why I am opposed to war so decidedly unless there is literally nothing else.
Semper fi,
Jim
A very moving chapter, and the company was right in feeling sorry for you, instead of blaming you.
One correction for you – Eighth and Eye in in D.C. I used to go there every Saturday and use the range in the basement. Me and my single-shot Remington would take the bus from Falls Church, VA, into D.C. After the range time, still with my Remington, would go to the Smithsonian and browse the Civil War section – a buddy and I had found an previously unknown Southern Calvary site west of Falls Church,
James, for some reason, this particular chapter really struck home. Thank you for getting your memories down on paper for the rest of us – we are with you in heart and mind, if not in body.
Thanks Craig. Very meaningful comment and I read and reread it carefully. What was my mistake using Eighth and “I” you mentioned?
Semper fi,
Jim
It’s crazy, but I’m experiencing a sense of loss over Sugar Daddy’s death. A testament to your writing and storytelling abilities. Keep ‘em comin’….
I share that same feeling. I loved and absolutely hated the guy but still miss his presence in my life.
What is that?
Semper fi,
Jim
One chapter closer to the end. Given the finite 30 days of the title and knowing the overwhelming danger of the situation I am on the edge of my seat.
Press on sir!
Working on the 29th morning now. I’ won’t finish the book before my surgery on the 22nd, but God willing right after I get out of there.
Semper fi,
Jim
LT we all grieve and we all hurt. Thank you for sharing yours.
You are most welcome Terry. Please to still be here to tell the story.
Semper fi,
Jim
LT, I have been following this from the beginning, thanks to a Marine friend from High School. I have never been in battle or even served but I listened to the stories or rather the experiences of several of my fiends and co-workers who did serve in the A-Shau. After hearing how difficult it was for them to share their experiences I can totally understand your difficulties with proper sentence construction. I hope I never have to find out how that feels! God Bless you and thanks for giving the rest of us a glimpse at what HELL is about. As one friend stated, “you can’t even begin to understand unless you have been there.”
You can begin to understand if you haven’t been there. That’s why I’ve written all this. The next time you
see a vet from that war down a bit you might better understand and share the blessing of still being alive with him.
What a pleasure to be here to be able to write this. We must not go unknowing into the future about how these wars
effect the men and women who have to fight them.
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim! the pain of the loss of men resonates deeply in me today as I read this. The A Shau, the Que Son and so many valleys that sucked the life right out of us as humans are to be remembered forever in our souls. I do not envy you writing this as just living with the memories are painful enough. Semper Fi my Brother
Thank you most sincerely Captain. You put so much into the few words you wrote and I am impressed
and really appreciative. Thanks so much.
Semper fi,
Jim
Tears. Yes, there are those. At times, they flow with out warning. I, you and our Brothers, earned those tears and I shed mine with no shame.
stomp the snakes and move one. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, if only. No mater how many times you work it, it ends the same. The tears don’t seem to wash it away.
Fifty five years ago yesterday. I can smell the cordite, that fucking rotten jungle and the blood of my Brothers. One day, we will lay in peace. No more tears.
Hang in there Brother.
No one could describe better what the reality of PTSD is. How it flows through us like
the Bong Song through our very core. Thanks for the depth of this wonderful comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
In Hollywood war films, big, larger-than-life men like Sugar Daddy would make it through. Whatever his faults and flaws, he cared for his men. Can’t fault him there. What a painful loss this is.
Yes, to this day, a mixed up wonder of human under the worst of conditions.
I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me, but we respected one another intensely.
Missed him then and now.
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim, No matter how much I wish I could physically send comfort & strength to you, as you relive these last nights & days, I cannot. I will continue to send prayers for both. I do believe that your written memories are giving both to untold numbers & for that, you should be very proud. I sincerely hope that somehow, you are included in that number. And the same prayers go for those untold numbers reliving those times & memories. Most sincere regards. Doug
The relief I have received on here has been overwhelming fo rme. It has changed my life.
I am no longer ashamed of my service and I am not alone in what I went through.
I was not as bad as I thought because I do believe the men and women on here who read
the stuff and then comment straight from the heart. I never knew they were there.
I am not the shitbird I thought I was but I have been my own worst critic. Here
I feel at home and in comfort and I cannot tell you how much that hs meant to me.
Semper fi, and thank you for your sensitivity and expression of understanding and knowledge.
Jim
“I share you pain and I know you do mine.
Your brother,”
Well said. It must be incredibly painful to dredge up and disclose to others the true pain and guilt of leadership.
Semper Fi
Bob
It is painful to write the rest of this but I can handle it. My family around me, not so much.
I am not the same when I write the segments and then for awhile after I am not really me either.
I have to be Junior and it’s sort of like the Werewolf thing.
Semper fi,
Jim
It’s painful to read, relive, and feel the those things that we Attempted to wall off 51 years ago in a land far away. To remember things we did, things we asked others to do, and feelings that only a few would understand. So very few can understand what happens to us when we and others we are responsible for are locked in daily struggles that literally end in life or death. The ultimate crapshoot of who lives and who doesn’t. We that returned, build a shield to keep the uncivilized raw us sealed off from those that can not ever understand or relate to
who we were. Yet we can not help but feel quilt for how many incredible gifts we have experienced by having been one of the lucky ones to have had these years that so many have not had.
I can not even imagine how difficult it must be to actually work at recalling that time, what we felt, and who we were. However you are helping so many of us get better at dealing with the quilt and demons we’ve kept buried behind our shields.
Thank You
Simper fi,
Bob
What a wonderfully complex and erudite comment filled with the reality of what it is we were and are now.
How we still are that mix, but nobody but a few really know. Junior is buried deep and I keep him there.
What friends would I have if I allowed him out. Anyway, thanks for that great comment and endearing quality of it.
Semper fi,
Jim
Lt, we continue to pray for you and your Company. Even though this happened so many years ago, your writing style has engaged all of us so much, that it feels like a live report.
We know that with you as the writer, that you made it out. But the outcome of the next couple of days’ chapters has us on the edge of our seats, waiting to see who makes it out with you.
God Bless you for being able to share your life and times. And may He hold those that were lost in his eternal protection.
Thanks Todd, these have been difficult days to write as I return to that valley
in such a fearful way, filled with trepidation and knowing the end but not wanting it to end that way.
Semper fi,
Jim
Rest in Peace Sugar Daddy. What a complicated character and probably all of 21 or 22 years old.
War does age one.
You have described your ground situation and it is tenuous. No place to go. Hold as long as
possible until major reinforcements arrive (if ever). Maybe too close for Arc Light. Bleep!
We will all be with you until this saga ends.
Some minor editing suggestions follow:
Was the normal damaged envelope and soggy paper available was used as an excuse by the military, or even the U.S. Postal Service to toss the letters, or what remained of them?
Seems like an extra “was” before “used as an excuse”
Was the normal damaged envelope and soggy paper available used as an excuse by the military, or even the U.S. Postal Service to toss the letters, or what remained of them?
// The paragraph that starts with “The expected night assault came without warning…
seems to fit better if it is immediately before the paragraph that starts with “The Gunny had the
mortars targeting the mudflat //
We need to shut that that thing down, and then fire on the eastern flat
Extra “that”
We need to shut that thing down, and then fire on the eastern flat
“Jurgens got his body off the bridge, which is a story in of itself,”
Maybe drop “of” or make it “in and of”
“Jurgens got his body off the bridge, which is a story in itself,”
“Jurgens got his body off the bridge, which is a story in and of itself,”
survivors of his platoon think Sugar Daddy thought you saved them all from Jurgen’s platoon
Maybe change “Jurgen’s” to “Jurgens’
survivors of his platoon think Sugar Daddy thought you saved them all from Jurgens’ platoon
we don’t have careers to worry about anymore and god knows you have the balls.”
Capitalize “god” ??
we don’t have careers to worry about anymore and God knows you have the balls.”
The attack gave itself away because the soldier running and crawling were firing
Plural of “soldier”
The attack gave itself away because the soldiers running and crawling were firing
and I missed Cowboy and his fellow pilots whenever they could not be overheard.
Maybe “overhead” instead of “overheard” Both meanings work.
and I missed Cowboy and his fellow pilots whenever they could not be overhead.
The rapid turn-around the Intruder made from the carrier
// Last two chapters had the Intruder heading for Da Nang //
The A-6 would take hours to reload, refuel and make the round trip to Da Nang
The A-6 coming out, all the way from Da Nang, was using the call sign ‘Ring Neck Seventeen,
let Homan know in detail about the mudflat just south of the mountain running on our side of the feeding inlet water between our position and that of Hill 975.
Maybe swap position of “inlet” and “feeding”
let Homan know in detail about the mudflat just south of the mountain running on our side of the inlet feeding water between our position and that of Hill 975.
This is intense. Always at your own pace.
Blessings & Be Well
Thanks Dan, all the corrections made. I cannot thank you enough.
Your friend,
Jim
LT, am reading The Cat, On Combat by LtC Grossman and Thirty days, reading is my relief, tears are still there, I love the night and seldom sleep more than 5 hours a night, and watch day break every morning. They say lack of sleep will be our undoing, I don’t know, what choice do we have? You keep me going with this saga, GIs striving to survive, doing what you have to do, carry on
Thanks Felix for giving me more motivation to go on. I am there with you in the night, of course,
and there are lots more of us reading this who are there too. I think about that when I am up prowling
in the night. Some relief. Not alone.
Semper fi, brother,
Jim
Jim,
Hard and painful episode for you to have to relive in your mind and write, and also painful for us–your on-line ‘ghost’ soldiers–to have to read and process. Roughest one so far for me to read.
Thanks to your superb writing skills, we too got to know those men lost at the bridge as we slogged together with them and you through 100+ episodes during 28 tumultuous days and nights.
Wishing it did not go down that way… But it must be written, the whole story must be told. The Marines who gave all and were lost at the bridge need to be remembered. And to be in our prayers. A sad loss of key contributors and vital links in the chain of fighting men under your command. Gone, but certainly never, ever forgotten.
“May the Lord bless you and keep you
may He shine His face upon you
and be gracious to you . . .
and give you peace.”
That’s wonderful comment Walt and I am sorry I did not get to it sooner.
You make my heart soar like a butterfly and that saying, the one you quoted here, is
on the Pearl harbor Memorial bridge too. Loved it then and now.
Semper fi,
Jim
Responsibly for decisions that had to be made! The NVA also reacted based upon getting their ass handed to them for days. You are also responsible for saving lives….hold that…
Also you said earlier Intruder came from DaNang (Marine) now Carrier (Navy)!
I was guessing at the time. I did not know, in reality, where the Skyraiders came from.
Cowboy was Navy but some of the Skyraiders were Marine.
Semper fi,
Jim
I was a little heavy on the recasting this time. If you agree they are warrented us them if not, do what you want. Prepositions are the wrong thing to end a sentence with…
The subject matter sucks and most likely was something you wanted to get by quickly, for good reason.
…and the jungle below as well as the drums mounted on what was left of the upper lip of the cliff were all silent.
assured that some Marines, who were likely hit had been lost in its waters.
I realized that I hadn’t thought to get my letter home, I’d been able to rough out earlier, to the chopper .
soggy paper available (was) used as an excuse by the military
defend because of the difficulty of moving through it. The open area was secured by the ability of the Ontos to turn and fire flechette rounds down that area nearly instantly also secured it from any large scale attack.
The A-6 had reminded me of one other factor: the ridges running nearly a thousand feet up along both sides of the canyon on both sides of the river.
I thought of defensive arguments to come back at the Gunny (with).
small razor-sharp bits of whatever else were comprised the bullets.
mountain running on our side of the inlet feeding water between our position and that of Hill 975.
8th and I is Marine Corps barracks in Washington DC. I have been there for Tatoo.
A very fair and critical evaluation of the writing. Okay. I got it. I will try to do better.
These are perilous times for laying this down…and that remains my only excuse for not measuring up.
Semper fi,
Jim
Having to write about a terrible memory you are entitled to make mistakes . I for one appreciate and understand every word and am in awe of your writings. Thank you !
Yes, I did make mistakes, one after another, but I got a lot of the big things right
and that allows me to sleep better now.
Thanks for the great comment and the compliments written in it.
Semper fi,
Jim
You have more than measured up Jim. Thanks again for these three books I will try to order several sets for my sons, all US Army and myself. This one was hard to read Sugar Daddy was a mans man it sounds like for sure.
Thanks for buying and liking the books Bob. My great please to provide them.
Semper fi,
Jim
And thanks for the compliment inherent in your words!
Insane….totally insane……
Yeah, Dick, it was all of that and thanks for writing that laconic comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim, I can only say my heart is heavy with sadness at the loss of your men in this excerpt. It is Christmas and they are not with us. Don’t know how you can carry on even today. Semper Fidelis.
Thanks for the support and the understanding…
Semper fi,
Jim
To help defray costs of printing, distribution and the time and trouble of running a personal publishing operation, not to mention getting out of here to meet the vets, I have started a GoFundMe Drive. Please consider helping out if you can. Here is the link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/thirty-days-has-september
You’re doing a fine job Jim. Thanks so much for another great chapter. Riveting as always.
Thank you, Dempsey
Semper fi,
Jim
Guy wrenching but riveting chapter
Thanks a lot Robert and yet, it is that kind of chapter with more coming.
Semper fi,
Jim
Hope in the troop’s in the back, caring for the ones under the combat gun is sometimes all the soldiers in the front have got.
You have stated that exactly as it was and remains.
You are not alone and neither am I, and the comments on here are proof of that.
Thanks you for that.
Semper fi,
Jim
Only one word possible: WOW !!!
Semper fi!
Great one word compliment Bill and much appreciated.
Semper fi,
Jim
LT what can I say, as always a great segment.
Letters home; I wrote home for my Mother at the time and now know I did it for me also. I have all of them and have reread them, I sure didn’t say much. I have the letters I wrote to my now wife of 48+ years but I have not looked at them. Letters were important for us.
James, Happy holidays to you and your family.
Sorry I am so late in replying here Mike, and appreciate the kind words.
Yes, letters meant everything to me and yes, rereading them here and now, I didn’t say much
either. We could not tell them the truth I am writing now and my wife can’t read the books either.
Semper fi,
Jim
Okay, I’m on the edge of the chair, almost fell off, keep it coming LT
Yes, tougher and tougher as we approach the end of the third book.
Thank you for being there for me.
Semper fi,
Jim
Wow just wow !!!
Thanks Harold, means a lot to get that real one word high compliment!!!
Semper fi,
Jim
Setting on your shoulder anticipating your next movetotally riveting j
thanks for the intense interest. I write now to get to the end of the beginning of my life from a point in time of true tortured misery.
I don’t write to entertain, impress or because I want to be the movies or properly published. I write for me, the guys that did not come home.
The guys like you who must have gone but have come home like me… in wonder and a bit of guilt.
Semper fi,
Jim
Lt. The story of your brave men should be told just as have several other war movies or books. While you may not wish to entertain or impress the tale of a green Lt. thrust into battles that test the will, skill and dedication of the men you commanded needs to be recognized by those who served and those who now have the tacit knowledge of the horrors of war.
I am trying so hard to start the 29th Day and yet I move like I am working in a giant vat of molasses.
The natural resistance of the universe, in dumping down of it’s cosmic and other rays holds me in thrall.
I am forced to write what happened but so encouraged to avoid it if I can…like the times earlier on when I
tried to hide in clefts and holes to avoid the combat. The Gunny is not here to pull me out this night.
I must pull myself out and move on.
Semper fi,
jim
What a mission you’ve undertaken James! You know the losses and the outcome! This saga is written in your blood and we all know there will be no joy or happy ending. Lots of sweat and chills here! Semper Fi!
Thanks a ton Jack. Your support all through this strange odyssey has been most appreciated.
Semper fi,
Jim
My hands also twitch as I read this……. Your words are the very essence’s of War.
Thanks for that great compliment Marlin. Makes it hard to go see war movies! 1917. I had a hard time with that
because there was simply no reality to it and war is all nitty gritty reality. I liked the story however, no matter how
fanciful it was written.
Thanks for that great comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
As I sit here reading this latest release, through free flowing tears , I cannot think of any reply other than Thank you for sharing your pain Sir . We all have that pain !!
I find it hard to describe what it was like the night to lose Sugar Daddy, who I had thought about killing myself many a time, and who had attempted to kill me.
But his loss resonated. His change while in my command I took personally, maybe too personally. So, this is the beginning of a few hard chapters, where loss
becomes the ‘normal’ and pain and fear are simply to be endured like the leeches, the misting miserable rain and the rest of it.
Thanks for the tears, evidently torn from you from your own experiences. I share you pain and I know you do mine.
Your brother,
Jim
It was a hard one to read. I am fairly good at foreshadowing but did not pick up on why the fifty did not shoot at the birds. It was as hard to read the third time as the first. Sounds like it hit the funny particularly hard too. So glad you have had the courage to keep writing this ending. As selfish as that may sound at least I know you made it back. Thanks again.
Writing the reality is sometimes hard because there were often no good logical explanations
for what happened. Why did the enemy do this and not that? Why were the so weird about honor’and
strange unwritten rules of the brutal game we were all playing/ I don’t know. I just write it the way
it went down.
Semper fi,
Jim