It's not easy. It's not a road fraught with simply easy decisions.

The search for meaning in my or your very tiny universe of things you or I control is very complex and constantly threaded through like a bad plaid blanket with beautiful and awful strains running right next to one another. It is almost impossible to believe in a loving God, or any God at all, when cradling a young dead friend or family member in one's arms. It is almost impossible to not believe in a loving and God when one is losing one's eye and prays for it to be saved against physical possibility and it is.

The 'Thinking Man' statue comes to mind. Having a cigarette and staring off a pier out over still waters comes to mind. Hiding under bed covers and Rodin, The Thinkerrefusing to peek out comes to mind. God does not talk. That I've pretty much figured out and you should have too. Humans say that God talks to them in order to get other humans to believe them so that those believing humans will do what those God has supposedly talked to will do what they want them to do. That's why humans love to preach and why preachers cannot listen to other preachers.

But what of humans who must reflect in those places I mentioned above and try to interpret God's acts? God does seem to act if he, she or it is there. What to make of the actions becomes the reflective but driving course of action/thought/inaction. Once accepting that God acts how does one or any of us down here figure out that vast chasm between the dead loved one in our arms and the irrationally impossibly saved eye in our head? How can those two acts co-exist side by side? They can't possibly, in this matrix of complexity we've come to call life. If they cannot co-exist as acts of a loving rational God then what does that say about the impossibility of every having any understanding about the meaning of this life?

What does that say about following any belief system set up to deal with this....by other humans?

Not God, because God does not write or speak.

Where is God? Why will there be no speech from God ever, or written word directly from God ever?

How are we to deal with this?