I woke up the morning after Christmas and eased out of bed. My wife made me believe she was still asleep, like she always did although any move on my part to depart the bed never failed to bring her back to life. I moved as silently as possible to get ready for the day. She had awakened I knew, but I also knew she’d return to sleep in only seconds after figuring out that everything was okay and normal. I went downstairs to use that bathroom, which was considered my bathroom by both Mary and Julie. It was also Bozo’s adopted bathroom but only when I was in it. He only, however, sat or lay on the closed toilet lid while he made me believe he wasn’t there to watch or give me any company. I smiled as I shaved. He was a whole lot like my wife in temperament, as well as imbued with the same violent depth of Irish temper. Mary had come out of a dirt poor county in Ireland called Clare while Bozo had come out of a deep rugged and barren arroyo with no name that caused a similar response to survival in a world that was just as harsh but so much better disguised.
Paul’s transgression would not leave my thoughts. The future of the family, the coming move, money, life insurance sales, and even the beach patrol were all subjects that should have occupied my full attention. I looked down at my right palm after rinsing the leftover shaving cream from my face. And then there was the artifact, I thought, once more trying to rub the evidence of its existence from the altered skin of my hand. But, for some reason, it was Paul and his strange interaction with my wife that would not leave my mind.
Who knew Cobb had you figured out while you are still trying to figure yourself out ??
Experience from Nam is still always in our thoughts, even if we don’t recognize it as we now try to return to civilian life without harming our future by our actions. Paul will will have to wait while he thinks things are cool. But are they really ??
Late to the reading of this chapter as I caught covid for the 1st time and it has my brain in a fog most days, getting better each day is what I tell myself !! 😉
By the way, you by now I’m sure, realize how blessed you really are to be married to such a wonderful woman..
SEMPER Fi
Thanks for the great comment SgtBob, and also the obvious fact that we both share the same understanding about Mary.
The recovery from Covid can be a bitch and not talked about much. The mental fog thing is maybe the worst part
because you feel like that’s it, you are always going to be that way…having lost your mental edge, so to speak.
Not so, but there it is. God gave this curse/blessing of a memory to me so no, Paul was not forgotten, as almost nobody
I have ever crossed tracks with has been. Cobb was a genius in her own right . Toe to toe with her was so vey
enjoyable, like being part of a very interesting script presentation…but better.
Thanks again,
and Semper fi,
Jim
My Irish wife wouldn’t have been nearly as civil w/Paul as Mary. I’d have to get a new councilor or face her wrath.
You got me hooked, again we are left hanging on the fate of the artifact.
Thanks for making the comment Phil, as I guess I don’t say that enough when I respond to them. I get taken up in considering the content
of the comment and not the fact of how much these all meant to me…and how they even effect the ‘fabric’ of the writing. I don’t really know how civil or uncivil my wife really was. I never discussed it further to this day with her, and not with Paul either. There were no marks apparent on either of them. The complexity of everything going on back then also didn’t call for the kind of responses that might have been applied should things have been more ‘peaceful’ or normal, if such a word can be used about any of my life.
Semper fi, and thanks,
Jim
Aside from thanking you I always wonder what I can say to contribute to the disourse.
As I read your response to Michael Orsinger the thing that popped into my head was that humanity is devolving and civilization is becoming much less civil.
Not very deep, just a spur of the moment observation.
Take care and enjoy Jim
Tim
As an anthropologist by education Tim, I must offer that civil, as in civilization, is an affectation of the way we want things to be,
not the way things generally are. We are inventing ourselves into the future, our imperfect presents and pasts working to serve as
broken foundations for that future we so crave. Things are actually more civil than ever in certain parts of the world…or what we call
the first or developed world. That’s not, by far, most of the world when it comes to the land occupied by the species. We are trying and cloaking
in deception that past and that present to allow our apology to be accepted in working toward that future. The apology is to us, ourselves, indvidually and as groups.
With the advent of such advanced communications, transport, and all the modern comforts, we now know so much more that we assume things are less civilized.
We just don’t do a very good job in remembering what we do know of the past, and never forget that we don’t know that much of what happed in the past.
Look forward, it’s getting better all the time. Perspective is such a bitch to angle into view, however. What you have written here is all about
the heartfelt trying that so many of us are doing and many of the readers writing, or simply reading, on this site are a very credible and poignant part
what I’m relating here. Thanks for the great comment that spawned this editorial.
Semper fi,
Jim
I am never disappointed with any chapter. You always rise to the occasion to make waiting for the next chapter a great expectation. I thought in this installment that you would use your strong arm tactics to make Paul buy life insurance with the implication that his wife would soon need it. You took the high road instead. Good for you.
High road? Not when it came to life insurance. If I even weakened to the point where I might give in to one of my rather violent day dreams of the
time, then the last intelligent thing I would have done prior to moving to action would have been to connect Paul to me by being his life insurance agent.
What if Paul made notes after I wasn’t with him? What if he made his girlfriend the beneficiary and then it came out he was propositioning my wife, however
vaguely. With my history of the time, I can only imagine how quickly suspicion would have turned toward me as the primary suspect.
Anyway, those are my conclusions today, not necessarily that I consciously came to at the time. As another shrink once told me when I embarrassed him by knowing too
much about the study of his profession: “You’re not nearly as intelligent as you are able to convince people that you are.” I immediately thanked him for
stating taht. I understood why he said it, but I also understood that you can’t really fake high intellect when called upon to exhibit it. You can shy away by remaining silent,
or you can use memory to cover a bit..but in the end? His intended insult was an unintended compliment.
Semper fi,
Jim
Semper fi,
Jim
A very revealing chapter! The strength of Mary, her worry about telling you about Paul reveals much about her and her intuitions about you. I she actually thought you would kill him she would have never mentioned it. Though in mentioning it she directed that you must deal with it. Cobb is every bit as brilliant as Mary and being that you were a cursory relationship to her, she gave you very sage advice. I believe she knew she could look to you in the future should her situation require it. How you handled Paul was brilliant! now you own him, he knows he was given a reprieve.You can’t blame him for being attracted to the same women you are, though, you can hold him accountable for his poor choices in not speaking to you about it.
This artifact wow, it intensifies what ever force is applied to it. The acceleration of gravity, friction, the moment of inertia applied tangential to the grinder, the heat. Every force applied to it outside of equilibrium appears magnified… it pushes back with that magnified force damaging/melting the wheel and burning the door. When the force stops so does the affect. Curiouser and curiouser ! You have lived in interesting times your entire life!
Deep, James, very deep. Yes to all of your conclusions, which is familiar territory for both of us. No, I could not blame him for being attracted to Mary too.
Many men have shared his feelings back then and also through the years. I was never naturally jealous, but I also wasn’t without a deep understanding that family
units are held together by private bonds and oaths of allegiance that, if broken, almost always result in the loss of the family unit. The artifacts ‘qualities’
bothered me to the core and those qualities have remained bothersome to me to this day. They did, however, make be much better accept the other things I was to find
along my travel and careers that did not fit into our structured view of either physics or reality. The speed of light isn’t the maximum speed of entropy in the universe,
but that’s only recently discovered and then quickly denied several times. The Mammoth and Mastodon carcasses found under the permafrost in Siberia died quick-frozen with
tropical foods int their bellies, twenty-five thousand years ago, which is impossible given our understanding of geology and whole lot of other stuff.. And so on.
Thanks for another great and provocative comment…and the compliment and confidence of putting it up on this site for me to critique.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
I always read your stories right away, as soon as you email them. You know what? I’ve never been disappointed. Your writing is so much fun to read, I really enjoy it. Keep it up.
Great compliment my friend! Fun is a great word to have associated with my writing and thanks for that smile at the end of this day.
I fully intend to keep it up.
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim,
What a chapter!
Yet again, I THANK YOU!
Jim and the alien “magic 8 ball”, figuring out what action concerning Paul (who rear is puckered up because he KNOWS he screwed up royally) and mulling retribution vs. offering/granting redemption, seeking out Cobb’s advice, still navigating the ever-dangerous and complex transition from being ‘AShau Jim’, the last tape still lurking in the background, the inconvenience of ‘real life’ mundanities (?) of selling insurance policies getting in the way of top tier things on your to do list of priorities.
I am beginning to wonder if Mardian gave you the “magic 8 ball” object knowing you would try to examine it every which way to Sunday and maybe he hoped it would be your demise because he knew you were involved in the sinking of the car.
Oh, and the comments by other readers to this chapter are quite eye-opening and very appreciated.
Keep on writing, Sir.
You cannot leave us here…
THE WALTER DUKE. Thanks Walter for the great compliment at the end of your comment. I will not leave you there.
The next chapter is already underway as long as God is willing and the creed don’t rise. I don’t think, and I didn’t think at the time
that Mardian had any use for his son at all, and that helped explain some of his son’s lousy attitude and worse conduct. Generally, people don’t see
danger when it’s right in front of them. America lives in a pretty protected bubble and I presume that Paul was also that way. Cobb saw it, but then
she was a world class predator all on her own. The best and most dangerous predators don’t give any warning at all, if they can help it…and also may go a long way
toward trying to prove themselves to be anything but a predator. Thanks for the great comment, as usual.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
Seems like you need Cobb more than Paul to find your way. And that “ball” seems to be stalking you, daring you to turn your back to it, which I don’t think you can. Will the last tape kind of tie it all together? Keep it coming LT, I really look forward reading this story of an amazing chapter in your life! Semper fi sir
It was, and remains, so hard to ‘go it alone’ out in the real world. We can retreat for brief periods, from contact with the social
order, but in truth, it’s simply too difficult, physically and mentally to move through life alone. Some buy on the TV this morning was blaming the inflamed weirdness of politically outraged anger and behavior on young men today. Seems that many young men don’t get any or enough sex. I started to laugh out loud, nearly spilling my coffee. Like that’s a brand new problem? Really? Older men can look backwards and even in high school and college, if you weren’t the football quarterback or other sports star, you simply weren’t getting any. That’s called sociobiology and that study of science is very valid in pointing out that both sexes value certain different things and unless there’s the opportunity to demonstrate value then there’s no nothing. Thanks for the great comment, and yes, I’ve always needed the wise counsel of wiser women. They know stuff.
Semper fi,
Jim
I showed myself a wee bit of patience this time and waited until DanC had completed his usual outstanding work.
And I have to agree with Col. Homan regarding fitting in. And I wonder if I ever will?
Your “magic ball” truly intrigues me! As a scientist, although a biological one, it truly baffles me. Doesn’t quite fit in with standards we’ve established here on earth. Long term effects on one who handles it? Well, you are still here, so that would be a hard “no”. I hope some sort of answers are further along in your story line.
And you handled Paul pretty well. I am sure he was thinking that he’d signed his own death warrant! The waiting is sometimes many times worse than the actual result.
Thanks again for letting us into an important time in your life.
You sure as hell fit in here…and with me. I am so glad that you are messaging here as I have been thinking about the
severity of your health problems. Are you going to be ambulatory or are you going to be in a chair, or whatever? Does your
wife serve as your major caregiver and ‘suffering servant?’ Just idle curiosity since you have made a place for yourself in
my life and probably a good number of others who access this site to see what’s going on. Thanks, as usual, for the compliment
and your writing on here.
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
James,
I just finished reading Sonia Purnell’s book about Virginia Hall. Wow!
Some minor editing suggestions follow:
She had awakened knew,
Add “I” before “knew”
She had awakened I knew,
He only, however, sat or laid on the closed toilet lid
“lay” instead of “laid”
He only, however, sat or lay on the closed toilet lid
Bozo had come out of a deep rugged and barren arroyo with no name but caused a similar response
Maybe “that” instead of “but” after “name”
Bozo had come out of a deep rugged and barren arroyo with no name that caused a similar response
box sticking out from under the top edge of the blanket covering her, and Mrs’ Beasley
Maybe period after “Mrs” instead of apostrophe
box sticking out from under the top edge of the blanket covering her, and Mrs. Beasley
The deal was made, and the Lobos Marinos home was in.
Maybe “ours” instead of “in”
The deal was made, and the Lobos Marinos home was ours.
I understood Lorraine’s exuberance, which had to be generated by her knowledge that I would be speaking soon to a whole group of prospects with whom she’d be sharing any commission that was generated from my sales to them if I made any.
/Lorraine won’t be sharing the commissions WITH the prospects. Let’s reword
I understood Lorraine’s exuberance, which had to be generated by her knowledge that I would be speaking soon to a whole group of prospects and that she’d be sharing any commission that was generated from my sales to them if I made any.
I physically jerked back.
Backspace to remove gap between paragraphs
listening to a tape I knew I didn’t want to, but had to, listen in, and I had to handle
“listen in” seems extra Drop
listening to a tape I knew I didn’t want to, but had to, and I had to handle
It sure as hell never walks through that cabin door to
be offered to me.”
backspace to close gap in sentence
It sure as hell never walks through that cabin door to be offered to me.”
doing anything but leaving this country for good. Now, what is it.
Maybe end with question mark instead of period
doing anything but leaving this country for good. Now, what is it?
sales instructions to the letter about being the first one to talk when a sale was on the table
Maybe add “not” before “being”
sales instructions to the letter about not being the first one to talk when a sale was on the table
I’m in the middle of some rather difficult circumstance
Plural for “circumstance” “circumstances”
I’m in the middle of some rather difficult circumstances
I’m going to need advice, some of which I received
Maybe expand to “I have already received”
I’m going to need advice, some of which I have already received
you already have a considerable amount of this kind of stuff
Maybe “know” instead of “have” after “already”
you already know a considerable amount of this kind of stuff
If she says this plan
OK but maybe “agrees” instead of “says”
If she agrees this plan
Whatever happened between Paul, and I
“me” instead of “I”
Whatever happened between Paul, and me
want anybody passing by and noticing there was someone inside
Drop “and”
want anybody passing by noticing there was someone inside
leftover from the car work I’d down in the MG with Joe Beard
Two words “left over”
“done on” rather than “down in”
left over from the car work I’d done on the MG with Joe Beard
extraordinarily lightweight
Two words “light weight”
extraordinarily light weight
so soft a metal that it could ground away or sawed up
Add “be” after “could”
so soft a metal that it could be ground away or sawed up
The material had impossibly burned
/Assuming the glove’s material
Change “The” to “Its”
Its material had impossibly burned
It wasn’t melted, although it smoked a bit
/Seems “It” is the artifact – although not clear.
Change “It” to “The artifact”
The artifact wasn’t melted, although it smoked a bit
artifact out of the door, the cheap set of fireplace tongs
Two sentences. Period after “door” Capitalize “The”
artifact out of the door. The cheap set of fireplace tongs
Blessings & Be Well
Thanks for a great edit Dan. I hope you don’t mind that I edited the edit a bit at the start, so as to accommodate the major change
in sequel you pointed out needed to be rewritten. Took care of that, thanks to you. Can’t thank you enough, as usual. What a gift
having you back!
Semper fi, my friend,
Jim
The ball is more than just a memory, but still remains like the ” Valley “, a Mistry and extremely dangerous . Now to figure it out? And wonder ” why me”! The wait is killing me !
Thanks Don, for the great compliment. It’s wonderful to have avid readers waiting for the next chapter.
I might no make any money at this but I do enjoy the popularity of the work and the comments on here.
Semper fi,
Jim
We operate in a world where most do not know who or what walks among them…however we are inhibited by the environment need to operate in.
PTSD is not about being different but the effort to fit in.
Colonel Homan, somewhere down in deepest Florida, one of the few places you can still go and feel young, you are no doubt thinking about
bombing someone or something too. So there. You live with the same inhibitions, as you use the word. Thanks for the usual apropos
comment and the compliment of its writing.
Your friend,
Semper fi,
Jim
Jim
]
Your writing moves me, makes me feel and think,
Lets start wit:
And it won’t matter anyhow
If morning’s echo says we’ve sinned
Well, it was what I wanted now
And if we’re victims of the night
I won’t be blinded by the light
The 70’s time of sexual uncertainty?
She’s speaking from the night before. “I know what’s going on, I know we may feel differently in the morning, but I’m happy here and I want to take that risk. I promise to let you go gracefully, if that’s what you want, but maybe the day will be just like the night and it’s going to be OK.”
No commitment- hard for Catholic boys like us to feel comfortable with this one night of love
Wow
Ok, first I have come to the conclusion Mardian “gifted” you the artifact to show you things aren’t what the seem and dangerous things must be put away,
AShau Jim cant be that Marine in the world- no place for it. We learn that when we come back often because the Marine creeps out and we get in doo-doo or we ruin relationships. We cant trust just anyone so we got confused and frankly scared ….. we had to learn new survivals skills that didn’t include blasting some fucker with a45
We knew survival but not the survival in the world made us feel uneasy
The FNG was learning and it wasn’t fun. I often was so tightly controlled I missed life’s clues
There’s a wall ten miles high and fifty miles thick between those of us who went and those who didn’t, and that is never going to come down. That’s the terrible legacy of Vietnam. James Webb expressed in Fields of Fire. When one of the book’s protagonists returns home from Vietnam to pick up his Harvard education where he left off, he is asked to speak at an antiwar rally. He berates his fellow students, “How many of you are going to get hurt in Vietnam? I didn’t see any of you in Vietnam. I saw dudes, man. Dudes. And truck drivers and coal miners and farmers. I didn’t see you. Where were you? Flunking your draft physicals? What do you care if it ends? You won’t get hurt.” Webb gave voice to the derision some Vietnam veterans felt toward those who didn’t serve.
So I had the fact I was there. Was that bright?
I do not know but it is survival.
Great suff
I am never sure, with your comments Richard, whether they’re met for me or for the readers who pore over them, or is it pour?
Neat stuff and stuff to think about as I proceed. Mardian disappeared into the sunset and although I was to hear from him in the that future,
I never met him personally again. AS for being Catholic. That priest in Hawaii said it all when he walked out in the middle of the confession
I was finally willing to make. He tore off that purpose sash, looked at me, and said: “I can’t hear any more, Your confession can only be made to
God.” I was hurt at the time and shocked but got over it to cogitate and decide that he was right. Out went confessing to men. Out went the rest of
the religion as well. I now have my own relationship with God, as must have been His wish. Thanks for the writing in such earnest interest and care
my friend and the compliments, of course.
Semper fi,
Jim
Will the real James Strauss win please stand up Your doing a great job of hiding him You also deal with the mental and emotional scars from the war that we can relate to Good job
The real guy. I wish I had had a better grip on that back then…and, in fact, wish I had a better grip on it now.
If we get to know who we really are on this planet, well, it’s only happening because your on your death bed whispering ‘oh shit’
to whichever god you decided to gg- with before buying the farm. Thanks for the comment and compliment!
Semper fi,
Jim
Will the real James Strauss win lease stand up Your doing a great job of hiding him You also deal with the mental and emotional scars from the war that we can relate to good job
Hey, a repeat, thanks for the attention!D
Semper fi,
Jim
Intriguing as usual, but still trying to figure this out as to fiction based on fact story or some fact, some fiction or all facts? Knowing how our government acted back in those days I really don’t know. Waiting to see how this turns out as there is a lot of facts here. You have me guessing!
In today’s world of Internet and television communications, not to mention cell phones, the declaration that something is true or real, coming from the source is almost meaningless. Credibility has gone away for almost everyone everywhere. That angst response by nearly everyone is the quietest and most secret psychological condition penetrating deep into the culture. You must decide about your own ability to believe. I love the song lyrics to Rod Stewart’s Reason to Believe. What is it that you want? What is it that you need. How do you want things to be and go? None of those questions are for me to answer. Thanks for the sincerity and straight from the shoulder comment.
Semper fi,
Jim
She had awakened knew, but I also knew she’d return to sleep in only seconds after figuring
* awakened I knew
set of rubberized asbestos gloves leftover from the car work I’d down in the MG with Joe Beard
*car work I’d done on the MG
Thanks for the help Don! Even before Dan gets to it. I need all I can get!
Semper fi,
Jim
Times that try man’s soul!
THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. That sentence is taken from Thomas Paine’s screed written back in 1776…and the unwritten part that deserves mention is that, as humanity continues to develop and civilization (as we try to define it) spreads, these times right now are always going to fit right into Paine’s conclusions.
Semper fi,
Jim